h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have masturbated furiously in my time, and I'm proud to say so.

Good for you.
In fact I think that the world would be a much better place if more people masturbated _instead_ of having "normal" (for want of a better word) sex. Imagine if only the Austrian couple, Herr und Frau Hitler, had masturbated vigorously instead of having their distastrous sackromping! Same can be said of the fathers of the entire staff of The Backstreat Boys. There'd be fewer people and instead of fighting ofer birds in bars, blokes could exchange tips on how to maximize their enjoyment (am I crossing lines here?).

Tosser

My hubby, John wants to know why he has one "dick" but two hands!!

Well...
Every man is different from all others, and the lord (or whoever does the job in your part of the world) has not seen fit to equip us all with the same weaponry, so to speak. Even so, in the spirit of perceived equality, and much to the relief of the tailoring industry, we all have two hands though only a minority have actually any use for more than one. But at least your husband can use the apparently useless appendix to turn the pages of the external stimulant while pounding away, wich is a luxury I do not enjoy. I have to plaster whole issues of imported "art magazines" on my wall before I am ready to commence.
I hope that answers your question,

Yours truly,

Tosser

Now, what is your opinion of the letter W?

I don't have an oppinion of the letter W - sorry!

Hey, my hubby doesn't need magazines - he gotta de wife! (Well, alright then, he does have the odd video......he doesn't need to turn the pages then!)

If this is going where I think it's going, go to the link below.

http://www.h2g2.com/forumframe.cgi?forum=16034&thread=29913

I harbour no desire to offend you, none at all. But how come, if your hubby "gotta de wife", he needs to masturbate? Is it because something is lacking on the carnal front in your marriage OR he does this solely to emphasize his independance as a human being. It is of course never wise to be dependant solely upon one person for one's satisfaction.

Tosser

[voice of insane/mad scientist in "Muppets from Space"] A good question! I'd better go check ... [goes over to computer (No, I'm not using WebTV.)]

Hisa wife spenda de lotta time ona de internet (hence latest phone bill!)....

Nah fellas! He's just a typical chap who enjoys doing what all little boys discover as soon as they're out of nappies - he has this fun toy within hand's reach! (I know as my son is nine and is constantly "fiddling"!)

Should I shout out loud that I'm not going to dignify that with a response or would that be silly? Awww, who cares, this is the h2g2! I WILL ABSOLUTELY NOT DIGNIFY THAT WITH A RESPONSE!

Oh, alright then! Hey, does this mean I get the last word in? This seldom happens at home! Gosh - I'm in a state of shock!

Not a chance babe. But on a more sombre note, who in the name of all that is good about wanking is this AK47 or whatever that demented individual calls himself??? I do not understand a word he/she/it/they/whogivesafuck says/writes (you get the picture)! Do you? If you do understand it please send me a copy of the code for I am quite at loss.

Yours until the cold claw of the Reaper catches me,

Tosser

Do you know, I used to go to the MYST chatroom as "Loony"?

So, we have a loony in our midst....situation normal then. Welcome Looney or YK-47 or whatever you wish to call yourself.

Oh, come on! PLEASE let me have the last word! Go on!

No, I don't really understand either but I thought that was just me and my addled brain. Still, it makes life interesting(ish).

My husband is "coming" - I have to go!!! (Heh, heh!)

I wish to be called "YK-47". [Jar-Jar voice] BYE-BYE!

If you insist.....whatever. Toodlepip "YK-47".

Ermmm, YK has the habit of spending most of his time looking for forums concerning sex...it must be the age...
It would be nice if he actually contributed something meaningful to a forum sometimes.

Oh and if you don't believe me check it out yourself...
Especially the 'Sex is so complicated' forum...

TM.

Thank you! I am now NOT ever going to visit this forum again!

You really can't see the sun shine can you ?