h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Marillion - The Band: Pre 1988 - A12674531
Author: Roymondo 'He who's a geezer must live in my freezer' - U1330481

I popped this in PR but have been told that the Update Forum is more appropriate. So here it is.

Which entry is it an update to?

Might be worth changing the title to something like 'Marillion - Birth of a Band' so that it doesn't need further updating. Anyone wishing to write about the post-Fish years in-depth could do a second entry 'The Later Years'.

Couple of problems in the lists at the end - you've used '' rather than '' tags, which is why the list isn't indented. Also, you'll need to italicise each album title, rather than whacking one pair of tags around the whole section. Titles of singles should all be listed inside single inverted commas without any italics - so, for example 'Kayleigh'.

And the last paragraph needs ... tags around it

Just reminding myself to have a good look at this later.

Tolkein --> Tolkien

You might consider a link the Edited Entry on The Silmarillion. But then again, you might not.

That opening paragraph is all very nice, but it's not a sentence. It needs something at the end: " - that's Marillion."

in a weekly music paper...

The ... is not a good literary device. You're much better just stopping with a full stop.

Tiny thing: Footnote 2, the fullstop should be after the rather than before the

from folkster John Martyn to, at London's Marquee club, the rock band Girl (featuring guitarist Phil Collen who went on to conquer America and, briefly, Britain, with Def Leppard).
-- this is clumsy. Reword it, splitting it into two sentences if necessary.

the 'Market Square Heroes' ep -- shouldn't that be EP?

the aforementioned 'Grendle' ---> the aforementioned 'Grendel'

short lived replacements --> short-lived replacements

The intensive touring for Fugazi finally brought an end to Fish's long term relationship with his girlfriend Kay5 and he dived into a life of drink and one night stands until. Whilst living back in Aylesbury an ex-girlfriend sent him an LSD trip with a letter. Fish took the trip, had a bad one and hallucinated a young boy dressed as a soldier. Fish, a fan of metaphor, had an idea.
-- this paragraph needs to be tidied. Some of the sentences are long, one ends with "until". Two in succession start with "Fish".

they had the rough plot of a concept album. This was 1985 and they wanted to record a concept album -- repitition here. Just mention concept album once, please.

the Genesis keyboard -- the Genesis keyboard player?

reigning in the excess --> reining in the excess

G

The original entry which this will be replacing is A164503.

Thanks chaps. I'm not sure how I missed so many mistakes!

I've sorted hte Smij bits and added a link to Tolkien & The Silmarillion, I'll get on the rest in a bit.

There's an entry about the Hogarth years here: A580349, though at the moment it's a bit of a fan thing.

I *think* I've covered everything you raised, Gnomon.

Smij, the other entry covering the later history of the band is already written and Edited. It's at A580349 and is called "Marillion - Post 1988", so I think Roymondo's original title was appropriate. It's not just the Birth of a Band, but as far as I can make out their most important era.


sozzled scot --> sozzled Scot

ex-girlfirend --> ex-girlfriend

Genesis keyboard player.6 -- You have to move the full stop to after the footnote. So:

player. --> player

--> .

The footnotes should also all end with full stops, so every should be immediately preceded by a full stop.

You have two separate links to the same external website: the interview. There should be only one, as both links appear in the right side margin.

G

Right. I think I've sorted all the bits out.

Smij: I agree with Gnomon that the original title was more appropriate so have reverted.

Thanks for your help Gnomon: I was worried that if I popped this in the UF it would be neglected but you've helped immensely.

Smij: is there any chance this could make the front page? I honestly don't care about personal FP kudos but it'd be nice to have Marillion there.

As with Peer Review, there's a seven-day incubation period, but if there are no other comments by then, we can accept this entry and see it on the next available (brand new) update promo slot on the Front Page.

Hi,

I've managed to read it now - good work! Some minor corrections needed regarding footnotes 1, 3 and 5, though:

1 - needs to start with a capital A:

After Tolkien's book 'The Silmarillion'. They ditched the 'Sil' after a threat of legal action from Tolkien's estate.

3 - needs to start with a captital F:
Fresh from touring with Steve Hackett, formerly of Genesis.

5 - punctuation:
[...] with Tony Banks, the Genesis keyboard playerThey collaborated again in 1991..

I've fixed 'em.

Unless I've missed anything I think this is done. I've left messages on the previous researchers' PSs.

I agree that it's done. So I'm going to put the update through.

I've done my part of the update, so yours is now the official Edited Entry. The Eds have been notified and they will do the thread moving and the promotion of the update later.

Cool. Unless we soon hear otherwise on the notification thread I'll shift the original from the UF: I can't see why it shoudn't be removed.