h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Read this with interest, but I noticed you have neglected to included in your list of toast states the "Half Baked" or "Mixed" status. This commonly occurs when the toaster is faulty, or the grill used is uneven. Thus the emerging toast can be perfectly crisp on one corner, yet still squidgy on the other. Also, particularly in toasters, where the two sides of bread do not toast at equal rates, so one side can be blackened hell and the other golden and lovely and yummy. As a toast lover myself, I have come across this nuiscence more than once, and have yet to develop a suitable avoidance strategy or a reliable method of tidying it up other than scraping ash everywhere.

Hmm.. Great entry, Leo!

Nice blob too

Bunny? I think a crucial piece of equipment in the disaster scenario you have described so well is the ubiquitous kitchen knife - scrapes away many a toast mishap in my household

W

Did you mention what actually causes this?

It's the sugars in the toast itself that causes it to go brown

I'm an impatient toaster - I press the cancel button on the toaster, turn the toast over and put it back in several times before it's done. This avoids the problem of burning the toast on one side because you can position the least done side where the hottest part of the toaster is (usually facing inwards). It also solves the problem of having a slice of toast too tall for the toaster and ending up with two thirds toast and one third bread.

A second on Alisons' note, I frequently use that method when using slices from non-standard shaped loaves, especially if the slices are large than the toaster in one or more dimensions.