h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

OK, recently I realised that, despite the fact that I'm a huge Stargate fan, I have never expressed my obsession with it here, apart from in a few conversations. So, after realising this, I thought that I'd write down my reasons for liking it here. Warning: Anyone who does not like sci-fi may find the following rather boring. They may also find it funny. I hope.

First up: The Stargate. It's a two storey high ring that spins and connects you to another planet (or moon) using a wormhole. In the words of Sam Carter, "It's really cool - steam comes out of it and everything." Need I say more?

Moving on: Special effects. Explosions, spaceships, alien weapons, etc etc. It all looks really good. And speaking of things looking really good, lets focus on...

The Characters: The actors are all amazing, and gorgeous.
Sam Carter - a beautiful, blond astrophysicist with (probably) one of the highest IQs on the planet. She's pretty good with weapons as well, and happens to be madly in love with her Commanding Officer, who is ...
Jack O'Neill - a typical CO who is brilliant at leading the team and pretends to be thicker than he is. His sense of humour is amazing, and he returns Sam Carter's affection. So, next is...
Daniel Jackson - the mandatory archaeologist. He can translate any language, is a diplomat and the team's conscience. Despite his geekiness, he has really nice arms, and pulls his weight in the field. And last, but by no means least...
Teal'c - an alien, a Jaffa (Jaff-ar) to be precise. He rarely speaks, but when he does, his words are always wise. He is a valuable asset when fighting the enemy, and is respected by all the team.

Next reason: The Humour. Funny incidents feature in most episodes, and the one-liners are great. Some of the best are:
Teal'c - When offered a glass of warm milk, he replies "I would prefer not to consume bovine lactose at any temperature."
Sam - When everyone looks to her for the answers, she says "Y'know, you blow up one sun and suddenly everyone expects you to walk on water."
Daniel - When doubt is cast on his ability to defend people, his response is to hold up a knife and say "Yeah, which end do the bullets go in again?"
Jack - (There are so many to choose from, but I like) When the General of the base rescues him from an uncomfortable situation, his way of saying thanks is "I just wanted to express my deep and unyielding love for you sir."
General Hammond - "As far as what you told me, there seems to be an evil conspiracy among the Tollan Curia, who’s apparent goal is to give us everything we’ve ever wanted."

So, now I've bored you all to death, I'll stop. I hope anyone whose actually read this has found it at least vaguely funny and/or interesting. If you don't, I won't be offended, because everyone's entitled to their own opinion. Thank you for reading!

Well I found it more than vaugely funny Can't say you've convinced me to rent or even buy a DVD but if I see it on TV I may not change the channel so quickly.

Mind, for sheer sci-fi hilarity, you can't beat Red Dwarf

This was a really good read!

I'm a stargate fan already so your preching to the choir with me but good fun anyway!

Thank you both for your kind comments.

Yup, have to agree about Red Dwarf. I don't own it on DVD or anything, but I love watching it whenever I can. It always makes me laugh.

I love them both. Especially Stargate! Can you ever forgive me for saying that I prefer Supernatural?

Which I do, but only by a margin so small that it's impossible to measure...

And, yes, I'm watching it right now - deal with it!!!

LOVE YOU XXX

I'm sure that you will eventually regret your temporary lapse in judgement and return to being as obsessed with me. Until then, I will tolerate your sinning.

Yes, of course I forgive you.

LOVE YOU TOO! XXXX

I'm glad that you forgive me because the pain would be unbearable, should you not be able to find it in your heart to do so. Also, I just finished watching the first episode of the second series and I cried. It was on a par with Threads, I think. Not too many tears but very sad nonetheless. And don't tell Rowena, but it involved the death of one of the attractive main characters (No, it wasn't Dean or Sam - I think I would have gone comatose if they had). Anyway, it's all very sad... And I have yet to depress myself with the Spanish and Physics homework I have yet to do. Wish me luck with loading the next bliddy episode! Love you loads, my love xxxxxxxxxxxx

I haven't seen Threads in ages. And I won't tell Rowena.

Can I borrow season 8 of Stargate from you? One disk at a time of course. I really want to watch all the episodes again.

Physics isn't that bad - I'm going to study it at Uni, remember? If you need help, just ask.

My love for you is immense, my love
xxxxxxxxxxxxv

Sure thing! What wouldn't I do for you? Ok, well I probably wouldn't eat bugs. Because that's just gross. But I'd do most things for you, so that's ok.
Physics, in my opinion, is the hardest thing since stale bread. And I mean DWARF BREAD - stuff that you can knock people out with for long enough to ransack their house and rape all three of their daughters. That's how hard I find Physics. And yes, I will ask you for help, should I need it in the future. You're gonna be so clever ^^

Love you xxxxxxxx

I would never ask you to eat bugs for me. Why, why would I ever NEED to ask you to do that?

I'm sure you can manage your homework without me, because you're seriously intelligent too, but I'm always happy to help. You can help me with my English when I need it.

Love you
xxxxxxxxx

I don't expect that you will ever ask me to eat bugs for you, but what I was saying was, in a life or death situation, would I eat bugs to save your life? Probably, yes, but I'd throw up afterwards and I would have to live in one of those pretty white rooms with the cushioned walls and the comfy jacket that ties around the back...

Oh, and when would the situation arise that YOU would need help from ME in English? I know I'm good *flicks hair* but I'm no better than you. I just enjoy it, I guess. Besides, you're a good girl and you actually read the set text - I used Wikipedia

Love you xxxxxxxxx

I always need help in English. Well, not always, but sometimes. It's BORING!

And yes, I read it. I always do what I'm told.

It's not boring! What a shocking thing to say! English is a wonderful language with many things to learn and one day I WILL sound as though I have swallowed a thesaurus, you mark my words!

As for doing what you're told - where's the fun in that? Pegasus - go eat some bugs! Did you do it? No - because it was a silly thing to ask you to do and also, I managed to get us back onto the subject of bugs again and I'm sure you're not happy about that!

xxx

I may swallow a spider in my sleep. Not intentionally, you understand.

S'not the same if it's not intentional. Oooh, I so burned you! Love you xxx

Mad Hatter, when you can be like me and sound like you swallowed a thesaurus, dictionary AND the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica, THEN I'll be impressed

Sorry Axi us thick types didn't understanmd what you just said it must be because you swallowed a thesaurus, dictionary AND the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica.

You should swallow a spider to catch the thesaurus, dictionary AND the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica, and so on!

What? Swallow Boris? Never!

Anyway, to catch a thesaurus you need a Lexicon. Don't you know anything about the feeding habits of reference books?

You can have one of the spiders in my room. If I can catch one of the B*ggers. THey're blo*dy quick movers!


And for the feeding habits of books i'm not sure. According to my friends i'm a bookworm so i'd eat them all.

gasp! You eat books? You...PREDATOR


I'll happily give one of your spiders a new home, I love them. I think spiders are cute.