h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ermmm..... I had to... um... download some recordings of meetings today. Errr.... we sometimes, um, record meetings at work. Lord-knows-why. We never listen to them again so-far-as-I-can-tell. But, um, hang on a second, my PC's frozen and .... sorry about this, I am really bad at multi-tasking. Ah, yessss. There we are!

So I had to download these recordings and listen to a couple because no-one had taken any notes.

I hate my voice. I am incoherent when I talk; either making noises like a broken clutch or gabbling like an auctioneer on speed. And worse than that, my bloody sister takes over my vocal chords. And when she disappears she's replaced by my MOTHER!

.... hang on ... the network'ssss .... er..... glitchy....

So there I am, listening to this incoherent gibbering southerner who slings in phrases like "...they'll be doing this five, ten, twenty, thirty times a day, that's a lot of user pain..." and says "....ohhhhhh, Bless, THANK YOU...." when the developers agree to give us what we designed. ("....ohhhhhh, Bless, THANK YOU...." F F S! And that wasn't my sister or my mother, that was an awfulness all of my own).

I always think I sound like a Noel Coward caricature of a particularly frigid and slightly drunk duchess. On helium.

Whereas I like your voice. And I think '...ohhhh, Bless, THANK YOU....' sounds sounds nicely human and rather sweet. Unlike the phrase 'user pain' oy vey the things our careers make us say...

In my head I have this lovely rich and most importantly authoritative contralto voice. I sing alto. I can do the tenor line. It should be.

So why is it that when I talk I sound all soprano and ditzy?

And I agree, I like your voice. And Ag's voice too.

Is this what Radio DJ feel like all the time? Or perhaps they get used to it.

a friend of mine is a DJ - he pitches his voice lower when he's on air and it took him a fair bit of practice and training to get it how he wants it.

As for sounding like your mother... when I answer the phone at home I'll often get "is your mum in?" because I sound like a 14 year old girl, apparently.

I used to record my dog training sessions, so I could listen and learn later. I never have time to go over them again, but like you I hate hearing my voice (I used to think I had a boy's voice when I was a kid) so have made damn sure I never listen to them again.

I have never had reason to think of any of your voices as anything else than nice and normal (if British ). Well, except for yours, Sho - but that's just because I haven't heard it

But isn't the issue that we normally hear ourselves, it's through bones and skull and that makes for a quite different sound transfer than when it's through air? (yeah, yeah - echo of the big empty space, I knew you'd go there )

Theory works well enough for me to let me get over it when I had that rusty oddball whenever I hear myself from a recording.

It's not the pitch, or even the accent. It's the incoherence that gets me. In my head I'm articulate, well-reasoned and easy to listen to. In reality I have two modes: ummmmmmming like a meditator and firing words out like a submachine-gunner. Horribly difficult to listen to.

B

I think that's something you can only eliminate by rehearsing everything to the last detail, over and over and over. and even then... I'm sure other people don't think it's as bad as you do!

* my bloody sister takes over my vocal chords. And when she disappears she's replaced by my MOTHER!*


thats just tickled me, that has

"I always think I sound like a Noel Coward caricature of a particularly frigid and slightly drunk duchess. On helium." [Agapanthus]

Slightly drunk duchesses on helium would be fairly entertaining.

I have *got* to get back to making international phone calls

Though phone numbers would probably help with that...

Phones and phone numbers have been around a long time, and yet they have not always been used in time to avert crises. For instance, calling the Archduke to warn him to stay out of that place in Serbia might have averted the First World War. Or, how about if Pancho Villa's message had reached Garcia in time?