h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[climbs out of a Sandslash hole] Ah, here we are! [helps Monsy get through]

Well, congradulations, Scratchy! You've managed to lead us to the mining tunnel!

Wait! We're right at the top of track 47! Here's the cart! [gets in] C'mon, Monsy! Get on board! [cuts the link to the other cart] Here's the brake! Turn it off before the others get here!

*finds herself covered in coal*
oh my, this is a bit odd looking but if you say it is ok then i guess it is....*brushes some of the coal from her hair and takes another look around*
so far it looks like noone spotted us leaving.......*turns off brake and watches helplessly as they speed down the track*
did i mention that i never liked rollar coasters???
monsy

Wait for me! Uh, Mew, use your flying ability and FOLLOW THAT CART!

[they take off] Uh, y'know, I know that the need for haste is present, but maybe we should have disabled the other carts before we [lands in YK's cart] got here?

[the tunnel opens up into a water filled cavern. Immediately, the cart enters a glass tube which goes through the water.]

"mining cart rolls to a gentle stop as a mechcanical voice from somewhere announces...."

Welcome to the NM Mining Conglomerates, if you will please keep your seats, someone will be with you in a moment....

NM

Shut up, NM. We're coming up with ideas for where the cart is going, not what happens next. /I/ get to do that!

[the car is still rolling through the tube underwater]

Mewtwo, could you get rid of this coal?

Oooh, NM, I see you've been put in YOUR place!! . Funny, I thought this whole story was mine and Monsy's brainchild.... Ah, well


*bp floats past swiftly in a small canoe which came through the secret underground stream"

(muttering to self) Hmmm. "Dear Peta." No, no. "My Dearest Peta." Nope, not right. "Ms. Peta." No, too plain. "Your most holy Petaness." No, too formal.....

*drifts quickly out of sight, floating peacefully on a warm current*

hhhmmm.... we seem to have come to an empass.

This is your story,BP,.... Mew two and YK's line......but I must insist.....the mine is MINE!!!!

Now.....if you are wise, you will remain in the cart until given further orders. Any fantasy that this is not the case will be "corrected" at my earliest convenience!

I must remind you, you are quite some distance from the surface, and down here....I'm the law.

NM

ermmmmmm.....YK and Mewtwo, it seems we have a monkey wrench in the cogs here .......
*attempts to speed the escape vehicle up to escape NM and BP*
i just can't believe my dear loving hubby has joined forces against me *sniffle, sniffle* woe is me
ok, enough feeling sorry for myself!!!, GET BILLYPILGRIM!!! before she finishes that letter!!!! (or we could just run )
monsy

The reason for YK's impertinence is probably because it's his forum. So, let's compromise.

[uses telekinetic powers to shove the coal out and inadverdently smashes a hole in the tunnel, causing a big flow of water] AAUUGGHH! [speeds up the cart telekinetically] Must go faster, must go faster!

[the cart goes up, out of the glass tube, through a tunnel, reaches a station, stops, and a mechanical voice says, "Welcome to the NM Mining Conglomerates, if you will please keep your seats, someone will be with you in a moment...."]

Ohhhhhh BLOODY HELL!

[He throws lightning bolts a Mewtwo, they hit Mewtwo's personal force field, he throws lightning bolts into the air, they come down and hit him, and then YK explodes in a cloud of identical dark blue puffs of light. The plot is given back to Monsy]

Now that I've exploded, I'm just gonna be the voice of my three current Pokémon: Zippy the Surfing Raichu, Scratchy the Sandslash, and Charlie the Charizard.

[Zippy (translated by Mewtwo) asks what happened to YK]

Bad news, Zippy: he exploded.

[Charlie (translated by Mewtwo) gives an incredulous roar, and Scratchy (translated by Mewtwo) asks how it happened]

*floats around, just out of reach*

"Most honorable Peta." No, not quite. "Queen Peta." No, too pretentious. "Most wise and just Peta." Hmmm, getting closer...

I'd make a snide comment here, only it's uncalled for.

Now, when're those idiots from NM Mining Conglomerates gonna get here?

[Charlie makes a snide comment which Mewtwo doesn't see fit to translate]

Not going to dignify that with a response, Charlie.

[Zippy wonders where everyone is]

*staggers in with mining helmet*

Hi ho (hi ho) everyone!
What's going on then?

*Looks around. No one to be seen.*

Oops. Sorry. My mistake. Serves me right for getting here late.