h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

hehe!! very good one
hhhmmmm....let me see if i can think of one......
my mind seems to be a bit blank at the moment, maybe i can congure up one in a bit
monsy

If you do not tell us what NM stands for, I will ask you again ... and again ... 1024 times! Fwaaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-etc!

If you really feel up to "trashing" this Forum, knck youself out!!!!

I thought you were over that!

For more info on "The Secret of "NM"....go here... http://www.h2g2.com/A288795 ...this should REALLY "tick" everyone off!!!LOL

NM

*everyone under 18 please leave the room*

A man walks into a bar, and he has three ducks tucked under his arm. The bartender finds this odd, but after years in the business, he's learned not to ask too many questions.

The man has a few drinks, then gets up to use the bathroom, leaving the ducks behind. Curiosity gets the better of the bartender, so he says to the first duck "How was your day?"

The duck replies "Hi, I"m Huey, and my day's been great. I've been in and out of Puddles all day."

The bartender asks the second duck the same thing. And the second duck says "I'm Dewey, and things are great. I've been in and out of puddles all day."

The bartender looks at the third duck and says "Let me guess: you must be Louie."

The third duck says "No, my name's Puddles. And don't even ASK me how my day was......"

Ahem.

Any minors can now come back to the forum.

A sheriff stomps into a bar and exclaims "Ah'm lookin' fer the brown paper bandit.
One of the drunks replies. "What's 'e luke lahke sheriff?"
"He's gaht a brown paper hat, brown paper vest. brown paper boots, brown paper pants, brown paper gun and brown paper bullets!"
"What do yer want him fer?"
"Rustlin'"

Umm sorry everyone. The afore mentioned joke was mine.

btw Monsy it's your turn at chess

Silly. That's what comes of more than one person using the same computer on the H2G2.

Could lead to an inversion of schitzophrenia: you have more than one body and only one self!

hehe!! very good jokes LOL!!!....and wowbagger, it is now your turn
monsy

Yeah! Tell us one, Wowbagger?

A gorilla goes into a bar and orders a beer.
The barman doesn't really want to say anything so he serves him.
"That'll be 5 bucks mate."
The gorilla hesitates, but gives him his money and the barman leaves.
Eventually, he can't help himself... the barman walks up to the gorilla and says "Look mate I must say... we don't get too many gorillas around here."
The gorilla looks up to him and says "At these prices I'm not surprised."

What we need is a bar joke with a plot so complex that you need to hear the whole joke to get it. This isn't it.

"Did you hear about the newspaper editor who went to see some cannibals and ended up as editor in chef?"

[male] }No, I didn't.{

ouch
monsy

A panda walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The barman gives it a sandwich, which it eats. The panda then takes out a gun and shoots upward, after which it turns to leave. The barman says, "Hey, what was that all about!?" The panda says, "I'm a panda. Look it up." When the barman goes home, he takes out his dictionary and looks up "panda," which says: "Panda: a mammal indigenous to southeast Asia. Eats shoots and leaves."

[male] }Silly.{