h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

well I think its about time I started this I,ve been promisinging it long enough but the problem is I dont know where to begin!
oh well to cut a long story short I,ve been in an abusive marriage for the most of it & I,ve decided enough is enough I,m getting out of this hell hole no matter what!
I actually left the saturday between xmas & new year but after just a week I was forced to come back by the council who said that as my name was still on the tenancy I was resposible for the house & the rent & coupled to that my b*****d of an husband was threatening to wreck the place
It,s been hell here these past 5 wks but at last the tenancy is in his name so what ever damage or arrears he causes can no longer come back on me so I,m moving on I dont know what is going to happen to me & to be honest I,m really past caring anymore
all I really know is that I want to escape this situation once & for all by whatever means it takes

Good for you hun dont look back!

Romani, that is a very brave thing to do. A lot of women stay put out of fear and insecurity, but you opted out despite everything. You have my unconditional admiration and all my support. Things will be so much better for you now.

hugs,
Greta

Will return when I can put together the words I want to say.
Lightman

well im glad your doing something about it!

we are not all that brave it seems some of us stay for the beatings, burns and general abuse

maybe i aint that strong..hell im only 19..yet my stepfather,father and boyfriend have treated me this way

maybe some people deserve it well thats the way it seems to me anyway

Nobody should have to live their lives with violence of any kind.I grew up with a violent father and I married a violent man.The children who grow up in violence very often do marry into violence or become violent themselves.
That is what they know from the things they learned in childhood.Its not until later in life that many recognise that life should not be like that and that it doesn't have to be like that either.

It takes courage to leave a situation like this and I know you can do it romani.You are a very courageous woman and a very good friend.I wish you all the luck in the world.
Stay safe and take care.May the angels watch over you and keep you safe.
Pally

hi shaz..
well, not only have you had the courage to leave the man of your nightmares, you have had to courage to tell the world.
well, h2..
there are so many people, who put up with what you have gone thru, without telling a soul.
i only wish i had your courage to sort my problem out. as one of the others have said, it boils down to insecurity..
i know that my bloke is insecure and that is why he treats me the way he does,as you well know.
but i also know that i that i am putting off things cos i dont want to have to go thru, what you have been thru, in the past 5 weeks..
your problem, is slightly easier in as much as its a council house. there are times like this that owning your own house is a burden.
.........................
to anyone else reading this... my problems are all mental abuse from a control freak who is so insecure, that i am virtually a prisoner in my own home. despte being mental abuse, i live in the fear that it could turn physical, if he is provoked. he is one big tantrum and it doesnt take much for him to react.
............................
shaz.. good luck for the future, i hope your immediate plans come to fruition. and you get some practice at pulling pints..lol.
bbhhggzz

hi jessypeeps.
sorry, i dont know your name.
you are never worth the abuse that you have been given. dont you ever think it.
i too have been mentally treated badly, for all of my life and it gets to the point that you start believing everyone, as they must all be right.
so now, i have a very low opinion of myself and i cant handle any compliments. i think that people must be talking about someone else, cos im not good enough to have any.
you arent the one with the problems, they are, for having to resort to such abuse..
you are young enough to eventually rise above it all and learn from these experiences.
me, im old and past it and beyond help. well, im old. lol.
best wishes for your future.
bbhhggzz..helen.

Girls... isn't it scary the way so many of us have experienced some form of violence in their lives, mostly at the hands of men, yet so few dare to leave?

And they tell us it's a fair and equal society.

Let's all get the heck out. Every minute spent with an abuser is a minute wasted in a life that is meant to be lived to the full.

Serenity, I know it's harder when you own the house. I stayed for a lot longer than I would have otherwise because I knew leaving him in possession of the house would be a mistake (and where can you go when everything you have is tied up in the house!) but in the end it was well worth all the money I had to pay him to get his name off the deeds.

You CAN start again. It may be a struggle for a while but it has to be better than allowing someone like that to control and ruin your life.
Take control of your own fate, now, while you still can.

You too, Jessypeeps. NO-ONE deserves treatment like that! I used to think the way you do. When you've been abused all your life it's hard to realise it isn't your fault, but it really isn't.
Leave them behind. Find people that will love you and appreciate what you are.

Good for you St. Romani. Hold on now and don't let anyone change your mind. It will get better and better, believe me.
Best of luck.

I'm still proud of you, Romani

It does take a lot of courage, doesn't it?
Keep giving yourself the credit you deserve. It will get easier, mostly because you are dealing on new ground right now, and it is unfamiliar territory for you at this point. It will become familiar to you to be respected, treated fairly, and loved unconditionally by those around you.
I'm sure I can speak for all here, and say we all respect, love, and like you here, and want the very best for you.
Keep safe. That is the most important thing.
(Look at what I had to go through to escape I was shot at, and carry many scars and battle wounds, visible and not visible.)
Hang in there You will do it>
Karen

For all of the women and men still living with violence of any kind there is help and advice available.Please look up the Womens Aid helpline number in the telephone books and give them a call.They can give help and advice on a range of issues and can offer a lifeline to those in need.I am in Britain but they also have these facilities in the US and other places around the world.You do NOT deserve this and there is help and support out there.
I broke free of it all as have many others and you can do it too
Romani's digibox has now been returned to TW but she will get back online as soon as she can.In the meantime she asked that I say hello to you all and let you know she's
Have fun
Pally

for Romani.
And s all round. Yes, you Can escape. If someone as pathetic as I am can do it anyone can. Believe in yourself.

for everyone

Karen

yeah well thats all and fine...im 19, wat future have i go? im scared to have kids incase they get treated how i did im worth so much more but just now it dont feel that way.

hope the next life is better eh?

see you guys later
jessypeeps

Jessypeeps... hope that was a typo and you're actually 89, and not 19! Otherwise, what's this about no future for you?

Sorry to be so blunt, and I'm probably not in the position to talk given that I'm always on the run from something, but nineteen is an awfully early age to give up on life.

You don't deserve violence, nobody does. Of any kind. You deserve the lot, children, a life, a house, love, everything.

There is always a way out.

yeah there is always a way out

Everyday is so wonderfull
But suddenly i start to breath
Now and then i get so insecure
From all the pain
Im so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words cant bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
So dont you bring me down today

St Romani.

A few years ago, I was aksed to help make a video, about somone's experienceses, after escaping a violant relationship.

This video her was her point of catharsis. It was moving, and upbeat. I meet her several yeas later, She was a happier person.

I hope in time you to will reach the point, where you feel anew. You have been brave, may the future be brighter.