h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ahem.
*the Vice President stands behind a podium built for the President, making him look humorously gigantic. He begins his speech*
Friends, Ohioans, illegal immigrants...
The Hypatian administration is putting together a cabinet to help run this great government. We need ministers, apparently, because I've been informed that I can't do everything myself. Or, rather, I shouldn't.

Anyone and everyone is eligible for a cabinet post - whether you were or were not a supporter... whether you like or detest sheep... whether you think Ozark is a kind of deoderant... or not. We still need administrators for our various governmental programs - the great italic be-wigging, for the hamster pajama program and for the badger poverty initiative. We also need an interior decorator for my new office. I'm thinking an Old West motif.

Thank you, citizens. This speech is to be followed by a translation from Vice, Vice President blacksheep for the ovine section of the audience.
*the VP steps down, the VVP steps up*
Baaaah.

Baaah? bah Baaaah Baaah Bahh!

Exactly.

I was going to ask to be the Presidential Seal, only Speak said you'd use any excuse to nail me to the front of a lectern

Never fear Pin, this being politics the only things getting nailed are the interns

Which reminds me, we need some interns

well you already know what job i asked for

Lemmings, or something, right? Yeah, I've got it written down.
Spy, Pin what'll it be for you?

I want to be the Chief Caterer and Lavatory Receipt Checker.

Ooo could I be foreign minister

We are going to need an ambassador to Magrathea. How would you like that job, Father d? Or do you have another place already in mind?

Anything you want to give me I will gladly accept

I think I would make a good Minister for Bits of String, Towels and Sofas

If you would like to review my resume I will be happy to accommodate you.

Fb

All added to my list
I will need to see that resume though, fb

Oh b*gger: I thought I'd be able to blag that one

That'll be the creative writing project this weekend then

Will this suffice?
A6148532


Fb

I'd like to join the team, if I may I was minister for protection of SEP's in the last cabinet (I joined a couple of years after President Peregrin started, so I was a late arrival). If possible I would like a promotion though. Perhaps something involving promotion of fiction, general humour and perhaps the odd bit of organised mayhem - with my links to the Terranic Army . Oh and the key to the mint sauce cupboard *smiles jovially*

Ok, fb, I guess that'll do

What title are you thinking of, Terran?

Titles... hmm, Minister for Fiction and Battle tactics? Its an interesting combination...

I can't think of anything better at the moment... Or alternatively, guy-who's-been-on-h2g2-for-ages-and-moans-every-now-and-then-that-its-not
-like-it-used-to-be

... I'd need to see a list of the kind of titles you want but... Fiction and Battle Tactics is the best I can think of at the moment... I'm quite flexible though

By the way as competition (which I did rather badly at it), do I need to do any grovelling or any kind of initiation ritual? *worries*