h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yep, but I wouldn't worry, there's thousands of you. Err, you're a goofy motherf*cker. I'm Miss World and I suck c*ck.

I've been digging up playstation cheats and getting prospectuses/ae for Uni. What you plotting today?

Ah so you found the one then? It could have been worse I suppose.

My first priority is getting shut of this hangover.

One of my mates is chairman of six seperate plc. It didn't get one hit for my full name, that was just the first.

Ooh, I forgot it was Saturday, I haven't had a hangover for ages. Is it a bad 'un?

They kept that quiet. At least you know who to tap off now. So which was true?

They're all bad 'uns in my experience. Have you had another all-nighter then?

I already owe her a tenner. Go googlism me and decide for yourself.http://www.googlism.com

Having a curative ale? Nah, I got a few hours, there was a brilliant Chinese film on til 5 in the morning. What did you do last night?

You kept quiet about Miami. I wonder what it is that I'm good at pounding...

Urgh! Noooo! Just watching the telly, drinking and . Boring really.

I was actually supposed to go this summer. Yeah, it does cut the statements in the most ambiguous places...probably dough. Try 'what is cheese'.

Sounds like a damn good night to me. Same again tonight if you get rid of the hangover?

Ah well, theres always the AT meet. You should be quite popular. It does repeat a few things too. Don't you knead dough rather than pound it?

I doubt there's an if in it, might try and get to the pub for a few.

Why would I be popular? I'll probably get pished and offend everybody. Yeah, it repeated the Miss World thing a few times, I suppose it must be on more than one page. Not if you're making pizza.

Oooh, pub! Take me with you.

I tried cheese, it's cheese. And Scotland is not for the squeamish.

Simpost! Thats good too. Just do what you do in Miami. I saw Miss America a few times but no Miss World, delusions of grandeur?

Nah, you're too weepy.

Hmmm, does it pull up different results each time? I was definitely Miss World, makes sense with the email addy.

No I'm not. Actually I have cried more this year than I have in my entire life, including infancy. I'll dance if you take me, and sing.

Scotland is shrinking. I'm getting closer to your local.

I'm back.

I don't know if it gives different results, I can't see it though. Maybe you imagined it?

Dance monkey, dance!

So am I.

It couldn't pull every instance of ''myname' is' and only come up with a hundred or so. I am Miss World! I am. I am. I AAAAAM!

"shuffle""hop""step"
"twirl""jiggle"

Howzat?

No you're not.

It could. Have you tried it since? Since America is the centre of the world anyway, I'll give it to you.

That was nice. More.

Eek, I was watching Lake Placid. Bet you're not here now.

I'm going to try it again now, just to prove I reign supreme. I'll give you a mention when I win my Oscar...

"bounce""step to the left""jump to the right""pelvic thrust""body popping"

Can I just sing now and get it over and done with?

Yes I am!!

Good evening, hows tricks? Did you try it then?

I liked the pelvic thrusts, was that the timewarp?

Sing if you must.

20 hours later.

Good evening to you too. I haven't resorted to turning tricks yet. Yup, I tried it again...but anyway, how are you?

Ah, you noticed. You've got to be really special to get a timewarp out of me. How was the pub?

#My own libido has been blowing a transistor, I feel like I have been hit by a f*ck...#

It was good .

I'm good, you have mail too. No tricks yet?! Now that is surprising. What model box have you got?

So how did the search go his time?

Aww, you say the sweetest things.

Hit by a what?