h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

always.

No, they're not.

I wasn't gonna say a word. You can pick them up on ebay or car-boot sales. Its mainly boxes that TW and NTL can't be bothered to collect.

That'll be because of the stares. That is exactly just what I was about to say. Nah, too much work.

I had a look but couldn't find anything about mousetraps.

I know they're not , your one was fantastic.

I used to think I had nice eyes. Or people that move and take it with them. I have a feelingthey'll take mine.

Ah yes, those foxy ankles. The smiley will do. Foot-rub?

Did you go to the 'F of the month' menu? Hold on... http://www.rotten.com

Scroll down to 1998, it's called 'Build a better mousetrap'. Minging, poor wee thing.

Yeah, I thought so too.

You do have nice eyes. You could be right, they might, you'll just have to pretend not to be in.

Nah, I'm too damn lazy. How am I doing?

I had a look but it was just someone in a blindfold.

Simpost! I'll look in a mo.

Do one to remind me.

Oi! What's with the whistle? I could pay the engineer with, cough, favours.

Do you even want to earn brownie points? Kiss ass dammit!

Hmm, that one was a bit messy. I was cooking a steak, sorry for the delay on the instructions.

I might, on Friday.

I thought you gurls liked that sort of thing? Wouldn't you end up owing him though?

I would but I'm too lazy.

It was a little, is that a *normal* amount? Nay worries.

Ooh, you're evil. I'm going to get a PC just to p!ss you off.

Was it a wolf-whistle? I'm so used to them that they have no effect. I know at least one person who would pay just to see my boobs...he's very, very old.

Let me give you a foot-rub then.

It was yoghurt, that's what I want to believe. I'm scared. Danke schun.

Just to p!ss me off? Awwwwww, that's sweet.

Of course it was, what else could it possibly be? So you're contemplating selling your body now?

Sure. *sticks feet up*

What are you scared of? It didn't look much like yoghurt to me and she must be a very messy eater. I saw the pic, was there something about it?

I do think highly of you, peeeeeeg. I'll cut nad paste and brag about the sites I can access and music I can download, and movies...

Indication that you're not being 100% truthful or holding off on insults. Well, maybe to science, don't reckon I'd get much in either sector.

Why is there no female equivalent to or ? Feeeeeeet...

Drowning. She couldn't see the spoon. You mean like an article? Nah, it's there purely for it's artistic merit apparently, try telling the mouse it's art...

'nad paste'? Bull testicle pate?

How highly, on your knees before me wummin. And then you'll up with drool on your chin.

Neither, just being nice. Well I don't know, I suppose the medical community would love to know how you train them.

Eek! I forgot about that fetish of yours.

Bit bloody clumsy if you ask me. I don't think the mouse would mind too much, and he must get danger money for the fumes he has to put up with.

That should be "And then you'll WAKE up", bloody keyboard.

I like you more than Jeff Buckley. Actually, Dave was saying he had an old one, probably one of those old BBC things.

You can't blame me for being suspicious considering the next sentence. When am I getting your photo? The urge to insult is killing me. "grabs tweezers"

Mmmmmm, hairy little toes.

It's good for the skin anyway, yoghurt that is. What if it gets lost, or hungry? Mice are omnivorous y'know.

That's a given. I didn't realise you chatted to Jeff. Didn't he say that ages ago and you decided against it, wouldn't they cut your phone off too?

Awwwwwww. I'm just teasing and you know that. I haven't got one yet. Noooo!! Back away from the tweezers!!!

Err, they're not really that little.

It is, funny how I keep saying that and it never works. Wouldn't it just head for the light?

Through his music man, I didn't say he liked me. Yup he did, I got a bit pride-ish on him. I could probably get BT.

I know. I just don't have any ammo to fire back, unless I join in with the caterpillar bashing. I'm gonna pluck yer toes! Warhahahahahaaaa!

All toes are little, even if they're big. Err, don't ask.

Probably because you're suggesting the wrong kind of yoghurt. If it was sleepy it would head in the opposite direction.

Yayy! Glad to see you're still around.

How are ya?

Yay! And so are you!

I'm good...just did a googlism on your name. How's you?

You did, what did it come up with? And do you mean my real name?

I'm good, what have you been upto?