h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...Ahem...

I regret to inform you that Mr Pinniped is no longer listening. Indeed, he has entered that realm of apoplexy in which he forgets how to type.

I don't suppose you gentlemen will be too familiar with the nastier seal-curses, am I right? Well, I'm afraid he just suggested that you should all "take a Newfoundland holiday".

Sorry about this.

SYWM.

I'll take broken bottles over prolixity any day.

I see.

Unless you rescind that uncalled-for remark, I will be obliged to lie on top of Pinniped until he stops laughimg.

Still searching through my book of handy insults... the holiday you mention seems to have something to do with bum-biting sharks. ! Then I do not care to go on such a holiday, thank you.

Pedant is it? Ad Hominem attacks? The gloves are off! Digital insults at ten paces:

Dumbass, fartknocker, stinkerbutt, Die badly, sh*t-for-brains, pathetically unread blogger, putrid bunch of butt-warts. no-talent a*seclown, purulent buboe, tragic waste of oxygen, waste of skin, living proof against Intelligent Design.

Tsk! And to think I got a right bollocking from the Towers when I went profanity filter testing on the day that they flipped the switch

Uhhh.

Stop provoking him and tell the fat b*****d to get off me...

I generally take Pinniped's side when a disagreement with SYWM comes up, but in this case I have to say neither one of them are behaving like gentlemen.

This happens every year. Neither one of them are happy unless the rest of us are too cold to even think. Well, it's summer, fellows. Long, hot days. Sunshine. Bees buzzing and butterflies flitting. The sound of ice cubes tinkling in glasses. The smell of freshly mown grass. Veggies in the garden. So you need to defrost your frozen hearts and get over it.

*presents each with a bottle of sunscreen, a striped canvas lounge chair, a trashy novel and stomps off*

Dave Vanian - vocals (1976-1978, 1978-present)
Captain Sensible - guitar (1978-1984, 1989, 1996-present); bass (1976-1978)
Monty Oxy Moron - keyboards (1996-present)
Stu West - bass (2005-present)
Pinch - drums (1999-present)

Paraná
Feather
Stanislaus
Minjiang
Kaveri

Yeah, well I finally worked that one out, Waz

But back on the self-proclaimed Antipodean's agenda, what about Brian James, and for that matter (cough) Rat Scabies?

I fear that the piscid one is not a genuine afficianado at all, but instead a mere pretender who looked it up on the internet.

And I don't mean pretender in the Ms Hynde sense either

Saw them live at Cardiff's New Ocean Club circa 1985, around about Grimly Fiendish I expect. Still got the poster. Don't possess the equipment anymore to listen to vinyls.

I did look up the line up on the web however.

But this is my earworm ...

You treat me like a dog
Give a bone or two
I'm frothing at the mouth
Frothing all over you
I'm kinda rabid over yoo-oou.
I'm kinda rabid over yooooou.

Could we add a vaccuum-cleaner to Waz's list?

Not without being grossly ungrammatical, you can't.

In the proprietary sense

Vacuum-cleaners be damned. I will have no vacuum-cleaners!

You can proprietorally, and threadatorally-ungrammatically, add a couple to this list

Paraná
Feather
Donnells
Beardsley
McKays' Point Diversion
New Melones
Tulloch
Dujiangyan
Kaveri

if you must, but not to my list.

(...unless you know some obscure proprietors... )

I see what you mean. I should be thinking beetles, not vaccuum cleaners in this particular instance.

A notifiable addition to that list.


I found another list... Larry, Dolly and Pankmoor Prelude .