h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Three witches sat around their PC.

"Double double, toil and trouble,
Windows crashes, and hard drives bubble!

This can is very cold
inside is my beverage
until I finish

When I finish it
Saddly it will be empty
and no longer cold


()

ODE TO A DEAD SKUNK BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD

Little skunk, who made thee?
Who then slew and so decayed thee?
Chunks of red-flecked black and white fur,
Blackened organs (Oh, the horror!),
Showing plain for all to see.
Thus in death no privacy.
Little skunk, who made thee?
No one wants to stay and spade thee.

Guess I'd better check on the laundry now..

What's that you say, Mrs. Twickleblossom?
They're in your garden again, swaying back and forth
with their multiple eyes wiggling?

Well, have they changed color at all since the last
time? You said they were purple on Tuesday, orange
on Wednesday, and rainbow-colored yesterday?

How many legs do they have, or don't they ever show
their feet? What planet did you say they're from, again?
Have you been taking the medicine I gave you last time?

Oh, by the way, I talked to Doctor Sprode, and he has found
a clinician who might be able to help you with these,
er, visions of yours. Please don't wear anything too loud
on your first visit, as ten or his eyes are still tender
from the sun glare he got during his vacation.

Then Mrs. Pigglewickens popped another toad into the toaster...

"they're quite lovely when they're warm and crispy... don't you think?"

Born to be wi-i-i-ild...

August 11 is traditionally the last day of
the "Dog Days" of summer.

Okay, , you've had your moment
of glory. Let me hitch you up to the bobsled,
and we'll head back to the Yukon. Yeehaw!

I wonder if it's too late to start my garden?
I have alllll these seeds. And, it's fianlly stopped raining

I'm having a hard time deciding just whre to travel by train...East
for sureI think...

It's dark outside.

Seems to get that way every night.

It's tricky to bake an applesauce cake
in a toaster oven. The top gets scorched
and black, while the center is on the
runny side.



Grab your coat and get your hat.
Leave your worry on the doorstep.
Just direct your feet
To the runny side of the street.

a duck walks into a drug store and asks the clerk for lip balm.
the clerk asks if it'll be cash or charge...the duck says...just put it on my bill

My black & white cat sleeps on his back, spread eagle, with his white furry belly sticking up into the air. He looks like a beached killer whale.

It's quite attractive really...

NOT!!!

Today, I'm gonna' pay a guy to hurt me!

See you when I get back from the doctor.

My left knee hurts.
I hate getting old!