h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

you finaly think your makeing some headway in getting this life thing down then you head off to work and don't relise until your on the train and your shirt is chokeing you that you put your t-shirt (I usualy wear a t-shirt under my work shirt) on backwards and that tag is pokeing you under your chin


()

*muffled *

For a minute, I thought you were going to
say that you had rushed out the door forgetting
to put on pants, and your b**t was freezing
on the train seat.

At least, that's the sort of thing that happens
to me in dreams quite a bit. It might happen to
somebody in real life occasionally. A few weeks ago,
I was in such a hurry to get into the swimming pool
that I forgot to put on my bathing suit. It was
not a male-only pool. (I rushed back to the locker
room and hastily put the bathing suit on, happy
that nobody had seen me )

I always thought that it was only me that experianced those* kinds of things....

Have you also dreamed that you're sitting at
your desk at work with no pants on, worrying
that your co-workers wo'nt come in and ask
you to stand up for whatever reason?

I don't think so but I don't usualy remember my dreams so it's posible

the movie real genuis
1"hey I just had this really weird dream"
2"was it the one where you are sitting on top of a pirmid and a crowd is throwing little pickles at you"
1"umm no"
2"why am I the only one that has that dream"
or at least that's about as close to what their lines were as I can get without seeing it again


()

My most memorable dream was the one where
I was showing the Queen how to get around
on the Boston subway system, and I lost her.
God will get me for that, surely.
You don't just go around losing queens
in the subway without being punished for it.

My dreams are well, they are frightening, worrying bizzare serreal, crazy or combinations of several (useually all) I wonder what they say about me actually, I think* I know what they say which is probably why I don't repeat them to others just in case they send for the men (or women), in white coats

Ah, Mr. 2legs ... just lie here on this couch and tell me your dreams. No judgement will be made.

::muffled laughter is heard from the cupboard::

Ahem ... just relax ... and tell me all ...

You keep mufflers in your cupboard?
Along with something that laughs?

Maybe she has some canned laughter in there.

No, that was *you* guys in the cupboard muffling your laughter ...

Me?

well, there was this conversation where I was having an argument with a box, rather having an arguement with the voice from inside the box which claimed it was the highest prime number, and i challanged it to come out and prove tome that it was and it got real weird, and well, therewas this ballon, withe face of that president of America, Abreham? i think, who hang on, well, the ballon aducitated over the thing till the box, well, kind of exploded into millions apon millions of boxes, that swam around my head, and well, the poor Mr President guy on the ballon was being buffereted about and well, then the little boxes that had exploded form teh first small box exploded into other little boxes, and well, I think then the floor disappeared well, at least I noticed at this point there wasn't a floor and teh little boxes werwe all around and through all the boxes there werw other ballons but each with a different face on it I'm going to stop now, this hole is getting too deep that I'm digging my psychee i into

*backs away very slowly*

So, Mr. 2legs ... your hopes are attached to these balloons, which you wish to see soaring in the sky, but you and the balloons are boxed in, and since your floor disappeared you are now all plummeting to a horrible death ... too bad, really.

The dream about the little boxes that
keep multiplying sounds like something
Arthur C. Clarke would write. In the
third book of the "2001" series, the
strange rectangles multiply like crazy
and then disappear, returning Jupiter
to it's previous status as a planet
rather than a star.

ahh, yep, I vaguely remembver those books, long whils since I read any of them...... and now for the next weird installment of 2legs dreams.....

(I ate a load of assorted cheese on water busicuits the other night before going to bed, and::

There is this tree.
I think It might Have Been an oak.
anyhow, at the base of the truee is a mop, a broom and a bucket.
from the tree this water is oozing out and the mop and the bucket and brush are cleaning it up and putting it back inside the tree (somehow).
and then there was this blade of grass.
in the middle of a field of grass. it was the same as all the other blades of grass and wello, that was it

Vell, Mr. 2legs ... ze tree is how you zeem to zee things as out of control, vhen in fact ze vorld is handling things nicely, thank you very much. And you zeem to be afraid of making a grass of yourself.