h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh, but then everyone'll be out of debt because they'll all be able to work at McDonald's.

Such a happy thought.

...and would you like fries with that thought? Diet soda?

I much prefer the erstwhile British owned BK Whoppa . But it is a rare treat these days, I just feel too guilty eating all those calories.

EEK! A CALORIVORE!

I don't know, there's something about eating a Whoppa that just doesn't appeal to me.

But I generally steer clear of both BK and Maccy D's, on the grounds that there's a rather delicious noodle stall just around the corner that sells vegetarian noodles for less than £3. And they're good noodles.

I feel today however that I merit something greasy; I went to the gym!

But peanut butter is greasy, too.

No sentient beings have to die in order for you to have your fried peanut butter and banana sandwich.

It was good enough for Elvis!

But the poor peanut plant has to surrender its unborn young to satisfy your urge for crunchy-stuff-that-sticks-to-the-top-of-your-mouth. To the peanut plant it's like harvesting a woman's ovaries!

*daubs quick protest poster saying: PEANUTS PLANTS HAVE FEELINGS TOO! and stages a small but vocal demonstration for peanut rights*

Chants "BE NO MORE A HERBIVORE!" between mouthfuls of pork pie.

Elvis is still dead, yet he's doing better than any of us are, financially speaking.

Ah, well, I don't put peanut butter on them. Sweet 'n sour sauce.

As I believe is Jimi Hendrix, and possibly Kurt Cobain.

Oh also, Wrinkled Rocker, Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Vegetables - A1960896 .

The only way I eat peanut butter is in satay sauce.

I hate the way it sticks to the roof of my mouth when it's spread on bread.

I am a sucker for peanut butter and jam sandwiches. I lived in the US briefly and that stuck with me.

I like them, too.

I also like to nibble on peanuts any time, any place.

Why, exactly, is fire considered alive? It seems to lack cells, doesn't it?

Yeah, but given that our definition for what is alive is based on what we have observed so far, it's not like that can't be adapted.

Also it is a chemical process which seems to expand itself without outside intervention, once it's got started. And needs oxygen, and substrate. And gives out warmth.

Loose parallels but it's more of a poetic description.

The Vingeans seem to think artificial intelligence is a form of life, too--one that will displace us flesh beings as masters of the planet

How do any of you know that I'm alive - I could just be an advanced artificial intelligence mainframe having you all on?

Actually I'm a peanut butter fan myself! I enjoy it with jam (jelly) but I also enjoy it spread on top of BOVRIL toast! It has a savoury taste to it - try it. In South African one manufacturer makes just the right texture for my taste - it's called Seriously Crunchy!

Caer, try eating it bread side up - the peanut butter sticks to your tongue instead!

It doesn't matter *how* I eat it....The peanut butter sticks to my hips sooner or later.

Yes, this is where Searle's Chinese room example falls down. Once you get good enough AI, whether there's something going on beyond the physical or not, there's just simply no way to know.