h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

wow thanks pan I'm so moved.....will go add it to My name
wanders off all proud like and hands yer aftersun lotion
Ana

Thanks! I needed that! ...*pours the lotion over her head to start the process of mking the part in her head less glaring...*

Forgot today was/is Sunday. Which don't mean I have ta' do a Service...cuz thasss the rules, there ARE no rules.

Okie-dokie the Services of The Born Again Tarts shall commence. *ahem* Today we welcom a fresh tart. I'm not sure from where she popped, but that makes her a pop tart And if you notice her initials, she's perfect for this Church. A. B.A.T.
I'm unsure where ALL the other BATs have gotten to and it matters not...I do have a thought for when you print your own pamphlets to chase the Bible Thumpers back to their cars...let's see...checks her note pad... don't leave home with out one...
One what? Must have written down tht piece of advice whilst in my cups. ...*thinks for several minutes...*

Wha'?

Oh yes...get to the point! Always leave home 'WITH' (write this down, if could mean the difference of coming hom ewith the same amount of money you went out with and coming home with your pocket book stuff-a-lated...get yourselves a *nice* hat that you can wad up and stick into your purse...you can NEVER be TOO ready for the every popular strip tease: 'Leave Your Hat On'. ...*pops top hat out and makes a pole appear...*
See...you can never tel when you'll be needing a hat.
Oh yes...and get one of those machine thingies that takes credit cards.

Well, that's it for now B.A.T.s...I got me a man juss walked into the place...*sets out collection plate...*~~~~~~~~~~~~

settles down to read and learn...and listen to the sermon...humm read it once dont understand it has a few....ahh now I see it makes perfect sence
Ana

Thasssss what I'm talkin' 'bout sister!

Of course it makes sense! Pan's posts always make perfect sense!

right...

yep.

What was the question?

We need a slogan, a motto...a SONG!! sumthin'. Shall we put our heads together? Ya' all ain't got lice or nothin' do ya'?

No lice, but no ideas either......shall I come back when I've thought of something?

::walks slowly away, head hung in shame ::

*blink, blink*

Hey I've found a terrific thing..recently got hit over the back of the head at work ....long story dont ask...anyway the result of said head injury means damage to nerve on the back of My head...dont worry I'm fine off work but having fun,.anyway the result of injury means every so often my right eye closes giving the impression I'm winking...this is working so well and getting me started in many conversations with gentlemen I'm thinking of not visiting the neurologist coz I'm kinda enjoying the after effects...ok I know it's a silly thing but hey that me!!..goes back to studying more on how to be a born again tart
Ana
p.s is working on a slogan but isnt too clever so will still be trying to think of one long after you all have

How nice for you Dear.
Look what I can do!



Oh, and jusss one more little thingie before I toddle off to bed before the second shifters begin to arrive...
Ana...try not to use the *W* word so much! Some of us have none, others have too much and yet others haven't a clue what it is...do it like 'this' Hon...*ahem*, "w*rk." There, now... isn't that much better? ...*takes tippy bottle with Johnson's Baby Valium (I have an Rx)...& lies down...*

*sees Pan sound asleep clutching her tippy bottle* Aint she cute! *puts Pan's hand in a bowl of warm water and makes running water sounds*

ahh sorry my bad will shush up...
Ana

pees the bed...likes it...

Welcome. Today I shall give you all a quikie. ...Wha'?
Oh yes, the Service...a quick service...yes, well...I'd like to warn all drinking tarts... ...stick to the same drink when on a date. Unless, of course you have mass quanities of narcotics perscribed to you by a nice doctor. And if you actually *know* your date and trust him/her...whatever floats your boat....trust that person with your life. Mixing drinks is *much* worse than mixing metaphors. If you mix your metaphors it is NOT likely to lead you to awakening in the back of a 57 Chevy Truck ... in a parkinglot...needing to pee. See? It's just what I've been told. You know, by OLDER WISER TARTS...

That concludes the Services for the week of......whatever week this is......I think it's July something
...I believe it's the year 2002...I could be off a bit......
Just leave a signed blank chek in the collection plate...in the space marked:memo...write down the aprox. balance in your acct...would want to overdraw anyoneThanks for coming...leave suggestions in the suggestion box...it's around here somewhere...maybe under those hats left over from last Service. ~Later b.a.t.s!

You ended up in a truck in a parking lot??? Did you still have your knickers?? A friend of mine in college used to get sozzled and misplace her knickers.. her solution to the problem was the obvious one.. she stopped wearing them..

*looks in the collection basket and finds two rubber bands, little foil packets of water balloons and a ball of dental floss* interesting...

Why inthehell do people keep asking if I wear knickers.?
That would jusss be silly! Why keep something all warpped up when it 1.) does better in the air 2.)will soon be unwrapped anyway?

Did *I* wake up in the back of a truck? how silly! remind me when mac let's me get E's again to tell you what happened.

*runs to send a reminder*

ya' can't send a reminder cuz mac won't let any in...didn't I tell you 'mac' is a machine?

I can send em... you just cant receive them..