h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

For the neverending LumpQuest.

Just been sorting my lab results and various other medical records for tomorrow's doctor's appointment, and getting very cross in the process!

Now, compared to what I've been hearing from fellow hootooers, I have nothing to whinge on about, but I will anyhow, so look away if that kind of thing annoys you.

This has been going on for over a year now, and my neck and head are still sporting those lumps - there have even been new lumps on the other side recently! And yet, if the visit with this specialist doesn't produce any results, they simply want to send me to a psychiatrist next.

So far, the results have been absolutely zilch, except the damaging and subsequent slow healing of the nerve in my right arm and the discovery that, oh joy, I'm allergic to a wide variety of antibiotics and a few painkillers, as well as just about any other new substances at present.




Now I wouldn't complain - at least not so much - if the slowness of it all weren't due to hospital intrigues and politics. Certain tests - ones my GP can't do - haven't been done simply because one department refused to follow directions given by another. They've been ordering one another to do them for months and nobody will. If they still need to be done, I certainly hope the reason they don't do them is because it annoys them how loudly the patients scream.

Lack of communication is another one - those of you who have been following this neverending narrative will know that the biopsy results took four whole months, and I only got them then because of, well, connections and espionage. The results I did finally get tell me nothing, though, because they say "we concur with your diagnosis" - what exactly that diagnosis is, nobody seems to know.



Graagh! I just want to know what's happening so I can get on with things! So wish me luck, please, if you happen to have any left over.

I'm sorry, I don't have anything useful to say.



Have a

Thanks. Just letting off , really.

(And at the very moment I typed the smiley, the word "steam" was sung in a song chosen by my randomiser )

Mala, just got in...

I really do sympathise!

Like you, I feel it is like getting water out of gold. The previous anology has been overeused!!

Also. like you, I have stopped mentioning my situation and treatment, or lack of it!!!

However, I have come up with a reason!

We both suffer a debilitating, but not life-threatening illness, so live with it.

Now I could be here but, as it is someone else's thread, and sonmeone I hod as a dear friend and in high esteem, I will not mention abuse of the system!

All I will say is I understand and truly feel for you!!!



MMF

The doctors need better microscopes, how else will they be albe to see the little skin burrowing elfs that live inside us I'm still waiting for my hospital appointment with the new hospital I've been transfered to I blame the elfs...

I too suffer from neck lumps which mysteriously vanish by the time the doctor's appointment comes roundbut my healing lady has felt them

with the tests

Good luck Mala!

2legs, they aren´t elfs. They are concentrations of creativity and joy: Latent Entries, laughters,
, ,etc.

So, dear Mala, you only need to keep on walking your path. They will be released soon like a

Just back - I'm sure those butterfly-kicking elves will be ousted at some point

One of the doctors there (luckily not mine!) was named Mengele!

And....??


What is happening?


Are your lumps and bumps to be treated by a psychiatrist?

Not *yet*. They want to make me more effeminate. This doctor said an excess of testosterone might be the culprit.

that sounds like some heavy weight straw clutching from the doc!

Ach, hie yourself off to the circus and make some money out of it, you might as well

But sympathies really, I know it isn't nice when you have stuff like this dragging on!

So that pretty girl in the photos isn't you?

I think it *is* straw-clutching. Next they'll be telling me it's an imbalance of the four humours and I need more bile, or something.

Which photos are those, lil?

you'll know they're stuck when they start quoteing Pliny the Elder's cures at you

Maybe I'll still get something named after me!


(Oh yes, lil, if that's what you meant, I am female. I was just joking - but she really said it could be male hormones!)

with it all, Mala.

I was beginning to wonder if all that long hair actually hid a beard, or something..

Thanks, Bel.

And I actually had a beard once, but that's another story entirely