h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, okay, if you say so. I hope I'm right, because these 1986 vintage white slip-ons are killing me.

*Flips coin, hurts finger by long nail* Ao! My guess is that our guesses won't be worth the paper they're written on in the end of the day. *Sucks on finger* Phew. Blood tastes no good.

We could always swap shoes. As the old Native American proverb goes - "You should never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his flip flop and football boot."

So by the time you judge him, not only will you be a mile away, you will also have his flip-flop and football boot.

Yes but he's probably got your 1986 while slip-ons.

So that will be like a mile and a half between you both, and then you judge him. Right. Could save a lot of bother just marking out two spots a mile and a half from each other, put the bloke on one, yourself on the other, start your walkie-talkie and tell him he's a non-nice fellow. Copyright on that scheme.

Look I think these Native American types used allegory, OK! They didn't mean flip flop and football boot and they didn't mean a mile. I think they were referring to any footwear and distances over 100 yards (Metres to you Duke).

So the saying actually goes "Never judge a man until you have walked a non-specific distance in his footwear, although not literally of course."

I think there was some reference to the type of footwear in the original.

Is that saying of the same effect as "I don't trust him any farther than I can throw him"? Like, if I was to throw you, Vestie, and you landed brutally a feet away, that would mean i'd do better not speaking to you further. But if, on the other hand, you would fly off like a seagull in rubber underwear, that would mean your a spiffing fellow upon who everyone could lay their troubles in the knowledge that they would find comfort?

No

Vestie, if I ever get to go to Britain, I'll show up and thump you.

That's the spirit!

Thank you. I present what I think is a brilliant idea, and he offs it with a simple "No". He deserves what's coming to him. I'm on my way to England next spring. He'll get it then...

That's ENOUGH! Any more fighting and you can go and play in your own rooms! I keep coming back between visits to the Hedgehog Bowling Championships to find out Wellie's Awful Secret, and here I find you all squabbling and bickering in Mr Pepys' nice Parlour. I should think he'll chastise you all greatly if he ever comes back. (You don't suppose he's gone abroad, do you?) Anyway, as I've said elsewhere, please note that in future correspondence, I will be known as "SPINY", as someone else has appeared who wishes to be known as "Spiny Norman". I've graciously allowed them to keep the full name, since my school and university nickname was always just SPINY anyway. So there.

PS How long does a thread have to get before it implodes without yielding up its Awful Secret?

Boys! Boys! Boys! Duke - lay a finger on Vestboy and you will have to deal with me!! And I can be very nasty when I get angry!

yes

*yawns* time for bed. Night Vestie - sleep well! *Snuggles up under two duvets and goes to sleep*

I shall gladly lay all this bickering to rest, but he started it! Yes, he did! Yes, he did! Did too! Did too! But alright. I can be mature about it. Vestie, here's the hand. *Stretches out hand, secretly dipped in green goo from daughters playroom*

Please no more fighting and what is the green goo for?
By the way I've got some green wellies on and they are labelled L and R.