h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Wall tile IS a totally different animal, and much easier to work with. I wish you a comfortable choice and well-done job.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to bow out of any operations for the time being. My shoe-phone got damaged the last time I ran across waters. I didn't take into account the salinity.

hello you pair o scallywags

imagine getting you both all to meself at the same time...(well, sort of. there's a pair of eyes in the corner over there, but i'm ignoring them)
you can have the 'implement' back now.. woohooo. happy days. (jelly babies wear off in 17 minutes, beware of serious moodswing in the other direction when they do)

so
what do we do now??

Sorry to say, Lady-Wench, but I must depart for now. There's about a 4-lb slab of pork in the oven calling to me. It's so near to my supper time.

And no, you cannot have the crispy and crackly bits. They's all MINE !!!

Ignore the eyes no longer, PW

not a great fan of pork. i'll have a cheese sarnie ta.. i'll just sit her on this barrel of ...... oh look. it's rum.. it's RUM..

enjoy your dinner..

and dont worry bout my cockles.. they'll be just fine..

Cockles a-ok (consults clipboard).

How are the mussels working out for you?

(dons Junior Doctor coat from market)

i like it i like it..

the muscles look good in it too. are you sure they arent pumped up from some kind of secreted tube system?? hmmmm?? (looks at him sceptically). i dont remember you being quite so well built...

hmmmm

It's all smoke and mirrors, Lady. He places the mirrors, and tampers with yer smoke.

I am pleased to report that I indeed got the better of that hunk o' pork. Along with spuds mashed and whipped with a bit of roast garlic, and gravy from the beast-drippings ... Me pantaloons is a bit stretched about the middle.

that's too racy for me on a sunday night.
talkin bout stretchin pantaloons and the like....

(mops brow and waits for more!!!)

nobody tampers with me smokescreen ok??

nobody.
ill 'ack yer 'eds off

So then whatcha doing on a Sunday night? I'm sure that you spent a goodly amount of time in church this morning, atoning for the over-indulgences last night ...

After my years of rugger, I can really sympathise with a man who has mashed spuds.

The mussels are realy. wench.

It's the crabs that are fake.

After my years of rugger, I can really sympathise with a man who has mashed spuds.

The mussels are real, wench.

It's the crabs that are fake.

And look at that, a double posting too!

You can have that one for free.

And they can cause echoes if your not careful with them.

Now, about those mashed spuds...have you seen a specialist?

(takes off Junior PI Badge and puts official sticker over it reading "Speshalist")

This will fool everyone! It's almost as good as my SASS (Special Air Service Security) badge!!!

*clears throat and slips into a nearly believeable Canuck accent ...*

Unfortunately, our regional specialist, M.R. Potatohead, has been called away to some far-flung land on a super-secret mission. So I 'spose I'll just have to fumble along on me own, somehow ...

i'm very impressed at your versatility..

what other badges have you bought down the market, i mean.. what other qualificaions have you got?

I simply gotta find me one of them thar markets. BTW, I see we're (in)famous ... http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/F54784?thread=2115299&skip=13&show=20

ooooer.
were your ears twitchin? how did you find that!!!

When chats are slow, I look at the <./>Info</.> page, to see what's current. That one was within the most recent 20 conversations. It's easier than scanning the "Ask H2g2" or "The Forum" when you've a very poor and slow connection.

So, wench, who and what will ya be scuttling today?