h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I want to hack some clothes.

As mentioned in Bea's journal, there's the magical world of knitting. But I can't understand it. It doesn't look like it should work, and I don't know if I could make it work, even though I've watched easy peasy knitting for beginners videos on YouTube. There's dark magic involved there. It looks for all the world like necromancy involving hypnotising the dead hair of sheep.

Reckon I could knit a scarf before Christmas if I started this week? I might try.

Secondly, all my work clothes ("uniform" as it were) is really good gear. I actually wear it more in my leisure time than at work, where I just wear whatever.

But it's got the work logo plastered all over it. In my free time I don't like being associated with work. For a whole lot of reasons. But therefore, the second piece of wardrobe hacking is to attach Velcro, and have interesting patches I can use to cover the work insignia. But which I can easily pull off when I do want to wear the things at work.

So, suggestions? What should I cover up the logo with? Sid James's face? A lemur on ice skates? A nice Kandinsky motif? The world is my whellik!

Thirdly. If I get a decent pair of Goretex-lined boots soled - properly done so they remain waterproof etc - is it liable to be just as dear as buying a new pair?

*AHEM*
http://h2g2.com/h2g2/skins/Classic/images/top_logo.jpg

Knitting is, indeed, a very strange process...my family had three good knitters in it: my mom and sisters. Since they were always at it, I thought I'd try. Ha!

I knitted Elektra a scarf once, not quite as long as the Doctor's, and not as colourful. However, it wouldn't lie flat. It ROLLED up into a tube. My sister explained why once, but I've forgotten.

You want to see real magic? Watch somebody crocheting....that's a wonder in itself. But don't try it. You'll end up like a kitten caught in a ball of string...and somebody will make a video...

Well I do have a woollie* hat with that. The whole ensemble might be too much too soon



*Right, let's settle it once and for all. How do you spell woolie/wooley/woollie/woolley? I can never get that accursed word right...and even when I do it by chance it looks wrong.

I spell it woolly. You didn't mention that one!

Knitting is fascinating indeed - I'm always impressed by how it turns string into all kinds of different textures depending on the combination of stitch types used.

I'm not so good at crochet, but when I'm in the zone I impress myself - with a flick of the wrist, I can make a disc within minutes

I think you just might be right about me getting tangled up like a kitten, DG.

My confusion with it seems to be...let's see if I can explain it...

There seem to be an awful lot of stages in the process, when the arrangement of knots and wool is, to my eye, symmetrical - but where if you approach from one side, it all comes together, and when you approach from the other, it all goes haywire!

If that explanation isn't very clear, it's probably because I don't really understand what I'm explaining.

A woolie is a jumper.

Or is that a woolly?

Anyway, woolly is definitely the adjective.

I'm with you, KB. It's more confusing than string theory. Or maybe it IS string theory...let Sasha explain.

http://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english-thesaurus/jumper

By the way, I love crocheting. I'm no good at knitting, but I was taught to crochet using very fine yarn, almost lace-like quality. It's easier to stash away, too, when you're not doing it.

You should make h2g2 smiley badges

knitting - it will roll up if you use stocking stich (knit one, knit one, knit one... for the first and all odd numbered rows; purl one, purl one, purl one... for the second and all even numbered rows. That produces something that looks like lots of little V shapes on the front and horizontal dashed line type of thing on the back. You can also mitigate a bit of the rolling at the ends by putting tassels on it.

If you are making a scarf, it's best to knit every row*, or make a complicated pattern (cable knit) with a ribbed (stop "fnarring" in the back!) beginning and end, and possibly some kind of border (of the knit every row variety)

tip for a quick scarf: use the variety of yarn called "double knitting" which is nice and thick, but not too thick. If you look on the yarn there will be a recommendation of what size needle to use (i can't remember how needle sizes work - I think the higher the number the thinner the needle...) probably it will recommend a 4 or 5 (and I'm guessing that's a UK thing - Europe does theirs in metric afaik, measured in milimetres. the USA probably has bigger ones measured in quarts )

Use one needle of the recommended size (or thereabouts) and one of the biggest, fattest needles you can find. it feels weird, and it feels odd if you have done a bit of knitting on same-sized needles, but the effect is twofold:

a) it makes it grow very quickly
and
ii) it makes it nice and chunky
and
3) (because there must also be 3 points) er... actually, that's it.

But then - when I met my in the tail end of 1984 I was knitting a (fisherman's rib) v-necked pullover for me. And I finishd it sometime in the late 90s...

*there is a name for this stich but it escapes me right now

Useful advice! So in short:

- I want it to grow very quickly
- the biggest, fattest ones are best
And
- it's best to choose a ribbed design?

Whatever did you think we'd be "fnarring" about then?

One big fat needle, one normal sized.
If you haven't knitted before I'd do - oh what's it called? Granny stitch? (knit every row)

Good luck (I want to see pictures)
as for the fnarring... I'll let someone else...

What the hell, I'll give it a lash!

Any rough idea of what length of wool/how many balls of it I'd need for an average to long scarf?

no idea. Usually the wool shop can tell you - make sure to use the same brand and type if you're using different colours. Also, if you don't want to buy all the yarn at the same time, usually they will put some back for you on a pay-as-you-knit kind of arrangement. This prevents you having subtle differences of colour if your next ball of yarn comes from a different batch.

Isn't knit every row just called "plain"?

The only one I can remember is moss stitch - K1, P1 but alternately in each row. I've never learned to do cable. My mum knitted us all proper Aran sweaters when the kids were small - unfortunately they grew out of theirs. I think I grew out of mine, too.

This is all getting fierce complicated! I think I'll buy two balls of wool online, and declare the scarf finished when I run out of wool.

Now, colours...

(My friend Jackie has just announced that it will turn out fine because, and I quote, "...sure even the Moomins could knit a scarf!" )

My mother knit a black and blue ski hat for me while she was waiting for me at some rehearsal when I was in my teens. It wasn't fancy, but it did the job, and it had great sentimental value for me, all the more so now that she is no longer living. I wish I could find the hat.

I should mention that I put Sho's comment about needle sizes on the Quote of the Day thread.