Journal Entries
Nick Rambles Muchly - series 2 episode 6
Posted Jun 1, 2009
Going back to the subject of tanks, I met some tanks recently (OK, about 2/3 months ago, but I'm slow to bring these out). I spent a day playing around with 2 battalion of the RTR. Tanks really are quite big. There's enough space to get 5 people in a challenger comfortably, even though the crew is only 4. The operator would have to stand all the time, rather than just most of the time, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind too much.
Tanks aer fast too. We were going at about 40km/h over rough terrain. The gunner was beginning to feel sick. I don't know why. I enjoyed it.
The gun is controlled by an analogue stick, such as you may find on a variety of popular games consoles. To aim you hold down a trigger like pad and move the stick. It also has a zoom button. 
I want a tank now.
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Latest reply: Jun 1, 2009
Nick Rambles Muchly - series 2 episode 5
Posted Jan 18, 2009
Aren't tanks big these days? They used to be cramped little things. Take the Panzer 1 for example. Barely room for its two occupants. But today I looked on the army website as part of the preparatory work for my BTEC (which I may or may not come on to later), and they had a 360 degree tour of the inside of a Challenger 2 and an AS90. Very nice. The AS90 has a crew of 5, but you could probably house a family of 10 in there with room to spare for when gandma comes to visit. It was quite a good 360 degree tour, as they go. You start of with a rotary view of the outside, and can click at any time to stop it. Then you can click on the hatches to view inside. The internal view of the Warrior IFV was a little dissapointing as it didn't show the driver's compartment.
Anyway. There's an interesting theory on existence in the Hitch Hiker's Guide radio show. There are 5 dimensions that affect us. The 3 geometric ones (x, y, and z axes, along which we move freely), time (along which we move in a linear fasion, not always at a constant speed; assuming we don't use time travel, which really screws things up), and probability (along which we don't move at all). All along the probablity axis, there are different versions of us, that made different choices, or made the same choice but someone elses choice affected us, or had different DNA combinations, or weren't born, or are identical apart from what they had for lunch yesterday, or the day before that, or the day before that...
The list for different possibilities is endless, and so is the probability axis. At each point on it, the universe is slightly different. For this reason, if you move slightly along the probability axis, everything, or nothing, could change. I think this is what happens when something happens to you that is inexplicable. Can't find some matching socks? Well, you've moved in probability and now you don't own a single matching pair! Just met someone who isn't happy about you being near them? Well, a different you must have done something horrible and raped them or something, and now YOU have to cope!
I think this is a rather nice theory, and explains very well how an entire street's worth of people I'd never met before welcomed me as an old freind, because to them I was. This is much more plausible than me forgetting them all, because there were quite a few of them, and all were memorable (not for reasons that they would find flattering though). Anyway, enough about me. How about you? Are you mad, or have you just moved along the probability axis to a universe where people speak English not Chinese, and gravity works in what I would consider to be the right direction?
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Latest reply: Jan 18, 2009
Nick Rambles Muchly - series 2 episode 4
Posted Aug 20, 2008
Warning! This episode contains long words! You may require a dictionary to understand some jokes, and may require councilling afterwards! This is due to the disturbing nature of the ramblings contained within! Parental advisory: explicit content! Contains dairy products!
Have you ever walked past someone you once knew but have lost contact with in the street? What did you do? Did you just walk past them without saying anything? Did you make eye contact? Did you share a moment of understanding with them, where you both realise who the other is and silently agree to remain silent? Do you have any idea what I'm on about? Do I? What is 'knowing'?
These scentences are all questions, and so have a question mark at the end. To me, a question mark looks like a breast with the nipple falling off. Now I've said that you'll be seeing necrotic (there's the long word...) breasts (...and there's the dairy product) all over the place. I know I do, and not always in such a metaphorical sense (now you should seek councilling).
Something I find interesting is the way people think about sexual acts (hey look, the explicit content). They seem to be put in some sort of order, starting with a bit of touchy-feely and working up from there (coincidentally, that's also the title of my new book). However, the order after that is not so straightforward. At which point, for instance, does it become OK to be naked in front of each other, and where in the chain does oral sex come? Many people would do this after vaginal sex, however this is considered all the way. Does that mean that oral sex is more than all the way, or should it (as it does in my opinion) come before vaginal sex? What is your opinion on the matter, valued viewer? Send your answers to: nickramblesmuchly@difficultfordyslexicstotypeandjustplainconfusingtoeveryoneelse.com
'Starting with a bit of touchy-feely and working up from there - an autobiography of Sceptical Nick' is on sale now in all good book stores.
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Latest reply: Aug 20, 2008
Nick Rambles Muchly - series 2 episode 3
Posted Jun 23, 2008
Hello! Good evening!
I look around, I look around, I see a lot of new faces. Oh, that's because it's the first night I've been live at the Apollo! No, really I am. Look around you. You're in the Apollo, and I'm on stage. No, I'm not the warm-up act, I'm on tonight.
Some of you a still sitting there thinking: "this sound technician's got a bit up himself. The old 'one-two one-two' would've done, mate." But really, I'm on. Really. Yes, I am the one who is telling jokes tonight. Oh, you thought it would be someone funny did you? Well you thought wrong then, didn't you.
I knew it would be a tough crowd tonight. All day I've been getting ill omens. It didn't help much that I walked under a ladder yesterday. It helped even less when it fell on me. Window cleaner wasn't too happy either. He was left stranded on a windowsill for two hours, until he lost his grip and fell on me as well. What? Yes, I was still there after two hours, I had been knocked unconscious. You are being very rude and hurtful. I was trying to tell you about how I was badly injured yesterday, and why I have my arm in a sling and my head bandaged. Look, I came here despite my injuries and all you have done is make fun of me. *sob* I'm going home.
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Latest reply: Jun 23, 2008
Nick Rambles Muchly - series 2 episode 2
Posted Jun 18, 2008
Not Sure What To Write
(to the tune of "won't get fooled again")
I really don't have a clue,
No not a little bit,
As to what I should write for this episode.
And I'm puzzling over it,
So make a little song,
Ripping off somebody else's tune.
I sit and think about what to put down,
No idea, just sit with a frown,
Then I spot a nice coincidenc-e,
That was quite very bad,
That I had to do that.
I'll just write a stupid song.
I'm not sure what to write.
I guess I'll have to sit,
And make this up quickly,
While listening to The Who to get the timing.
Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bee-doo.
Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bee-doo.
Doo-doo-doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-dee-dum.
I sit and think about what to put down,
No idea, just sit with a frown,
Then I spot a nice coincidenc-ee,
That was quite very bad,
That I had to do that.
I'll just write a stupid song.
I'm not sure what to write.
No no.
I just sit and cogitate for a while,
Then work out what I will put down.
Oh dear it appears that this doesn't rhyme,
And in some places doesn't fit with the time. (hey, that did rhyme!)
I have run out of Ideas.
Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bee-doo.
Doo-doo-doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-dee-dum.
Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bee-doo.
Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bee-doo.
Doo-doo-doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-dee-dum.
I sit and think about what to put down,
No idea, just sit with a frown,
Then I spot a nice coincidenc-ee,
That was quite very bad,
That I had to do that.
I'll just write a stupid song.
I'm not sure what to write.
Not sure what to write.
No no.
Doo-bee-doo-doo.
Doo-bee-doo-doo.
I think it could go to number 1.
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Latest reply: Jun 18, 2008
Sceptical Nick - Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're NOT out to get me.
Researcher U8441623
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