h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Warning! This episode contains long words! You may require a dictionary to understand some jokes, and may require councilling afterwards! This is due to the disturbing nature of the ramblings contained within! Parental advisory: explicit content! Contains dairy products!



Have you ever walked past someone you once knew but have lost contact with in the street? What did you do? Did you just walk past them without saying anything? Did you make eye contact? Did you share a moment of understanding with them, where you both realise who the other is and silently agree to remain silent? Do you have any idea what I'm on about? Do I? What is 'knowing'?

These scentences are all questions, and so have a question mark at the end. To me, a question mark looks like a breast with the nipple falling off. Now I've said that you'll be seeing necrotic (there's the long word...) breasts (...and there's the dairy product) all over the place. I know I do, and not always in such a metaphorical sense (now you should seek councilling).

Something I find interesting is the way people think about sexual acts (hey look, the explicit content). They seem to be put in some sort of order, starting with a bit of touchy-feely and working up from there (coincidentally, that's also the title of my new book). However, the order after that is not so straightforward. At which point, for instance, does it become OK to be naked in front of each other, and where in the chain does oral sex come? Many people would do this after vaginal sex, however this is considered all the way. Does that mean that oral sex is more than all the way, or should it (as it does in my opinion) come before vaginal sex? What is your opinion on the matter, valued viewer? Send your answers to: nickramblesmuchly@difficultfordyslexicstotypeandjustplainconfusingtoeveryoneelse.com



'Starting with a bit of touchy-feely and working up from there - an autobiography of Sceptical Nick' is on sale now in all good book stores.

The title of your book. It isn't about your life. It's about your conviction for molesting under age girls!

We all know what you get up to! Naughty, naughty!