h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

He should have been more careful when he picked his nose.
Dirty boy!

I think he was just being "bad".

It just occured to me, how will Shea travel to the Wild West.
Will she have to join a wagon train?
I can't help feeling that it's bad time of year to travel,
those mountain passes get snowed up.

Shea can use her sarcasm as a shield against grizzlies and snakes.

Indians? She only need worry about them if she gets lured into one of their casinos by mistake .

Buffalo? Nowadays they have wings and hot barbecue sauce. I'd recommend a bottle of antacids.

Cowboys? Bring air freshner in case they've been eating too many beans.

Ah yes, those pesky beans. I thought we had seen the last of them
in another thread.
All the same I hope Shea chooses a reliable wagonmaster
for that long trek.

There's another kind of Indian that Shea might encounter in Cleveland. This kind of Indian is known for swinging bats, so Batty might be just the kind of swinging bat that he could go for.

It's those Arizona Diamondbacks that worry me,
I hear that they can be pretty deadly when riled.

The Indians that swing bats in Cleveland will soon by playing the Red Sox for the American league championship. They've just defeated the Yankees, so I expect that they're pretty good at swinging those bats.

if not will they turn mad as a batter?

No, just bad as a matador.

mad as a cardinal?
drunk as a pope?

Who let the pundits in?

Maybe it was Ra-pun-zel.

should the gatekeeper be punished?

'pun my soul, I do believe you are right.
What kind of punitive action should we take?

Tie him to a whirling dervish. He'll soon tire of being spun.

that sounds cruel and punusual

No good I'm afraid, those Dervishes never stay still long enough.
Perhaps we should through strawberry punnets.

opps,
throw.

oops,
oops.