h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No there's no need for violence. I'll just leave the head of a horse on their pillow.

Weather forecast says it's not warmer, it's just less cold(?)It's only minus one today, yeatesrday it was minus eight.

I'd rather beat someone up than kill a horse...but then I'm just a prissy vegetarian !

I think the last time it got below zero here was in the late 80s or early 90s...you're quite clearly in the wrong country if you don't like the cold

Tell me about it, darlin; Right few more jobs just to tidy up before I go at eight.
If you're not around or I don't get a chance. Good day to you and I'll be on tonight again.

Well I will see you tomorrow...I mean tonight then !

Thanks for the company, it's been marvellous hanging out widja and I can't believe that I finished work an hour ago !

My friend has just texted me this;

A jelly baby went to the doctors and said I have a sexually transmitted illness.

How did you get it? askled the doctor.

The jelly baby responded; I mix with all sorts.

Boom Boom

I can't really "throw stones" here...the last joke I got on the phone was

How do you make a frog drink?
Put it in a blender

I'd keep very quiet about that one, were I you.

I am aware of the lamest of the lame jokes, so don't mess with me !

Look here, darlin' I am alert to the fact people flee when they see me coming in case I tell them another of my latest jokes. There are those that won't take telephone calls from me.

Out of idle curiousity I put your frog joke on the joke thread to test reaction to it. I'll take complete blame for telling the joke.

You and my dad could have a joke off...if we could find another name for it, of course...*shudder*

...and as far as my lame jokes go, that's probably the only one you could post in here !

Must admit I cannot put too many jokes on the thread as they not only unprintable, but it would get me kicked off, for life. Some people can be very prudish.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one !

I have the mind of a sewer when it comes to jokes. I know jokes to offend anyone and everyone. And I'm proud of it. No such thing as PC as far as I'm concerned

I went to a Catholic school sunshine...the only reason I keep losing my mind is because it spends most of its time loitering around the gutters!

No wonder it bumped into mine, then. Sorry for the breaks I have to keep dashing off to work Still thats the last TX for a while, next set is 06;44.

I'm involved in a conversation as to whether or not research could be conducted into the Jellybaby. Does it matter if it is a boy or girl jelly baby, should you eat the head first, does it matter if the back is flat or round and does colour affect the taste?
What are your thoughts on the matter?

I disappeared so long...I had someone at my desk and couldn't get back in ...

Jellybabies hey ??

Well, personally, I don't think it matters if it's a boy or a girl...I prefer to eat them two at a time, whole, one on each side of my mouth...the back bothers me about as much as the front (ie "not much" ) and the red ones are the best ?

Is this a test ?

No we were just chatting, see Barn Owl on my site, and it was just a conversation as to jelly babies. Tsarina suggested that if they had flat backs you could balance them on your nose and flip them into the air to catch them in your mouth. I must really start a page on this and invite people to contribute.