h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yeah, I got in this morning desperately disappointed that Bob wasn't dead yet...

...I don't have a water bottle handy and he looks thirtsy...would it be ish of me to feed him raspberry lemondae ??

Is your ok?? Are you ok?? ...it's no fuin trying to function on little sleep...I'd much rather be in bed myself now...

Well to be honest I noodded off about 10 tonight as there wasn't much to do then, for about 20 minutes. Work has been sporadic on and off. Fizzled out now, nothing much to do. Next Transmission isn't until 02:44.

Cole and I had friends over for dinner Thursday. On Sunday we went to Wetherspoons for a meal.Then to a local club for a game called Play Your Cards Right, which my mate's wife won.

Woke up to thick snow and snow falls on Sunday. But by lunchtime the sun had arrived and it'd all gone.

The last few days here have been....something....

We had a massive blowout with the boy (ie the American backpacker who has been staying with me on and off the last three months ) on Thursday night…and he left on Friday morning to NZ…have no idea if he’s coming back and don’t really know if I care…I mean, I miss him and everything…but more than anything I just feel relieved that I don’t have to worry about him or “us” anymore…is that evil??

Friday night drummer loves me (he doesn’t’ really, I just dig the fantasy ) and we got locked in the pub...I always thought it was just a lousy excuse...but now I know it can happen !

…on Saturday night one of the guys who works in the bottle shop proposed to me…then after the pub shut me and my girl kept drinking with a couple of her mates at their place...

Sunday night had a fight at basketball with one of the guys on the other team, but he started it ...

…all in all it’s been an experience !

Are you looking forward to the warmer weather ? I personally cannot wait to take my overcoat out of the wardrobe and start wearing it again !

Seems you really have an exciting life. Mine seems to have slipped into dull boring middle class banality.

Backpackers seem more plentiful in Austrailia than here, and more transitory. As a youth friends and I backpacked a bit around Europe, but at 54.......23 I've accepted my life for what it has become. If he's walked out with his packs, then it's highly unlikely he'll be back for a while. You may have had a lucky escape anyway. He's a yank, what else need I say. Come on now.

The drummer? Well my mate's a drummer. I'll see if he's free if you like When I say free I don't mean financial wise.

Friend's 50th 21st birthday party coming up this weekend and we'll all be trundling along to that We have a parcel for him which contains a case for false teeth, incontinence pants, a tongue scraper (No I kid you not) a pipe, a book called sex for the over 50's which has nothing but blank pages in it, a flat cap, magnifying spectacles and general crap like that.

My friend who lives on the Isle of Sheppy, which is an island just off the coast of England, has invited us down for the weekend on 24th April. St Geroge's day and there's some sort of celebration going on. It seems they thought no-one celebrated St George's day and so we should.

I'd give my left arm for a bit of dull boring middle class banality...but then of course I wouldn't be able to play pool...and I wouldn't have anywhere to put my next tattoo...

...Yeah, we get a few backpackers...and because I'm relatively close to the city they do seem to be around a bit...of course, in the area I live in we have an awful lot of Irish travellers, which is one of the reasons my girl wants to move out with me somewhere in the area !

I suppose it is for the best the boy has left...I mean, I can honestly say I love him (which has never happened before ) but it was too much drama...I think now I know he's gone it's easier to deal with than sitting around wondering if he'll ever come back...

(And I know what you're saying...but for some reason I go to an Irish pub and end up going out with an American...!)

Ahhh yes, the drummer...I have a drummer fixation...I always have...I believe it started with Animal from the Muppets......but ever since then...mmm....heiraten sie mich Schlagzeuger........

Wow, you're mates the same age as my brother's fiance ! It's her 21st on Saturday...so I imagine everyone will be ing up in her honour...I have my drink off on Friday so I don't know if I'll be...alive...on Saturday...!

Aww...I'm sure St George will be stoked you've decided to celebrate his day ! Will you be slaying any dragons in his honour ?

Wow I can't wait to be 21. Pardon? Look, you decieve yourself your way and I'll do it mine, ok! In my job you have to retire at 60. Just another 6 36 years and I can retire.

Sorry to hear if you really did have feelings for this boy. But, as you say, was it worth the dramas? Americans can be a bit meladramtic, as I've found out.

Knowing my mate he won't be slaying but he's playing a bar-b-q. You know the sort of thing. Flames leaping up so high birds are falling cooked out of the sky. Chicken that's burnt on the outside and running blood on the inside.

Ah yes ASnimal from the Muppets. Used to enjoy the muppets. The song "Feelings" will never be the same having heard the scientist's assistant Beeker me me his way through it. No words, just the word me to the tune of Feelings. Bloody funny.

Did you get email? Did you understand the problem I had? No need to say anything on an open thread.

Hey, I wouldn't be 21 again for anything, you're welcome to it ! I'm just counting down to the years I can finally fufil my calling in life, that is, to be a "crazy old hippie lady on a motorbike"

And as for the boy...I was very fond of him (against my better judgement for the most part ) but one of the things I hate most in the world is when people don't tell me what's oging on...which was pretty much the last 3 months of my life...if he comes back, he comes back, and we can still hang out and stuff, but I'm not "his" anymore .

So you guys have bbqs like us then ? Usually it's an excuse to get and burn stuff...although in my Dad's case it's just as much the area around the bbq as the food on it ...

I loved Beaker too ! With his fluffy orange hair and inability to communicate through normal means...much like Animal with his red fuzz and poor vocabulary...

...obviously what I'm looking for is a simple minded redhead...in hell...I had one fo those last year and let it go !

Sorry, went to get brekkie came back and got distracted by a report on the bombs in Kabal, God that was horrible.

No worries son !

Yes, it's all a bit much innit ? In the words of Elvis Costello "What's so funny 'bour peace, love and understanding?"

The pictures were rather graphic and bloody on the television, leaving nothing to the imagination.

Yes I forgot you're an Elvis Costello fan, trying to get a phone ring.

Just got an email from a friend who is a policeman on nighjt duty. It is a really bad joke. See what you think.

A fat woman went into a shop and said I'd like to see a sweater that will fit me. Yes, madam, said the salesgirl. So would I.

Boom Boom



I rather liked Beaker singing Feelings in the Muppets. The only word he ever said was me It was really funny.

See I believe it's the job f the news to telkl u what's going on...but I do believe that a lot of the graphics are entirely unnecessary...

That's a pretty poor joke......tell your mate he tells worse jokes than my Dad!!

Don't get drunk with a dyslextic dwarf. It's not big and it's not clever.
Another one

You know what it's like. Baking hot day and he's gotta rush out into the garden and light a fire. Uses about eight gallons of petrol to get the thing started. Flames are leaping ten feet into the air. Birds are literally dropping fully cooked from the sky. It takes him five minutes to have sex, and twenty to grill a steak. Ok I exagerate. four minutes to have sex. Ask him to cook Sunday roast and he runs a mile, but once at the bar-b-q, God he's king. His wife and myself always have a chuckle about this.

See, my Dad's the sensitive new age type...he cooks and cleans, he makes lunches for the kids...but that's mostly because no one else will..

...but put the man behind a barbie and he's in his element...he has it down to an art...he actually knows what meat to put on first wo it all cooks at the same time...and even chucks on some tomato and onion for extra flavour...

...but we still keep a pile of wet towels nearby anyway...

A bucket of water and a fire blanket

It causes us fun watching him. His kids, now quite old the girl is twenty three and the boy will by 21 in May, used to think it very funny when Dad got the Bar-b-q out. It was an event that they would hated to have missed. It wasn't so much the food, but his antics which caused the greatest merriemnt.

We used to be terrified...but mostly because Mum would be around screaming if any little thing went wrong...

...but I must admit there were still moments of absolute hilarity !

Another 2 hours and thirty minutes and I can go home.

Roll on summer. I hate the cold, it eats into my joints. Can't wait for the sun to thaw me out. Going to Zante this year. I don't usually book up so early, but it was a bargain and four hundred pounds cheaper than the books. I enjoy Greece and the Greek Islands. It can get as hot as it likes, the heat doesn't worry me, it's the cold I hate.

Evwen if summer does bring the dread Bar-b-q.

I bbqs...even now that I don't eat meat...veggie burgers taste better when they're a little "crispy"...

...wow, I think I've been brainwashed by my dad !

I don't like it being _too_ cold...I have problems with my knees and it makes it worse......

...but winter is marvellous...it's all about coats, and s....that's three of my favourite things...and most of the other things in my list are better in the cold too ...

I have knee problems. I believe I told you of the operations I have on the knees and spine. I have a knee replacement in the right knee. During cold spells they swell and ache.The knees! The knees!

Kids were making snowmen on Sunday in the cul de sac where I live. The dog was taking mouthfulls and tossing it in the air. You're not one of these people who go swimming in the snow, who break ice chunks in the sea to go swimming amongst the icebergs, are you?

You know what I'm missing? Countdown. it's not on at the moment the current series has finished.
Yes I'm a Countdown Junkie.

I think the main thing we're forgetting is your winter is vastly different to ours...the weather rarely gets anywhere near zero, it doesn't snow and things don't really "ice over"...

...it can get cold...but not THAT cold !

Aww, princess they're not playing you're show yet ? That's terrible...do you want me to beat up whoever's in charge ?