h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Grins inanely*

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

*Is unable to resist feeling her man's bicep and squeaks with delight before swooning in her chair*

*pushes Gwennie's chair in to the darkest corner of the tearoom until she recovers.*

*Feels a RL hot flush on the back of her neck, that goes with the RL grin she is wearing. (who is this Babel guy anyway???)*

*Her Chippendale guy leaves off with her feet and begins gyrating to the music in front of her.*

Shake that bootie, baby!!! !!!!

Pandora has gone out of sight, under the table with her guy...only a
giggle here & there can be heard.

*Awakes to find herself away from the action and spies some of said action going on under the table where her companions are seated as, on one side of the table, the cloth is caught up, revealing Pandora and her YOUNG MAN.*

OH MY!!! *Gwennie calls out across the crowded tea room*

Pandora! Stop that canoodling at once! Behave yourself and unhand that YOUNG MAN!

*Tries hard to appear shocked and not go green with envy. In the meantime, every head in the tea rooms turns to see what is going on and the management make their way towards cause of the commotion*

Pandora! Watch out!

*Thinking fast, which was a remarkable feat in itself, Mari-rae deftly swings her walker into the path of the approaching stern faced management personnel, blocking their way to the table.*

Go for it, Pandora! Go for it!!!


(canoodling, Gwen? good one!! )

Well, it's the only polite enough term I could use to describe what was transpiring under that table!

*Gwennie decides to sacrifice herself for her companion's sake and feigns personal distress on her side of the tea rooms*

HELP! OH, HELP! THIEF! Someone's stolen my handbag! There he is, over there!

*Points to the manager of the tea rooms and the Chippendale dancers advance on him, take him by the arms and escort him from the premises*

Why, thank you YOUNG MEN! I don't know how to express my thanks...

*Inserts a roll of money down the thong of the nearest YOUNG MAN and whispers in his ear*

Share that with the rest of the boys, for services rendered.

*The YOUNG MAN grabs the roll of notes with glee. "That's it boys!" he shouts "Pay time. Grab a granny's over. We can go now!" The Boys all grab their bits and pieces and hurtle out the door at top speed.
The tearoom is in a sorry state. Chairs and tables are everywhere.
Gwennie and Mari-Rae are all of a flutter. Pandora emerges from under the table with her lipstick smeared all over her face. Coelacanth and Babel-17 are enjoying a still moment in a turning world. Possum is nowhere to be seen.*

*hair in knots Pan manages to pull herself up by the seat of her chair
looks around,as EVERYONE is looking at her is such an odd way!
"What?" "Is there a problem?" "Is evreything alright then?" "What?!?" *Pan hasn't had THAT much fun since...ever!*

*All the other old dears are shaking their heads and tutting while secretly feeling very envious indeed. They sit Pandora down and pour her some fresh tea with lots of sugar.*

"Now dearie, it's all been a bit of a shock hasn't it. You weren't feeling yourself there"
*Pandora smiles, knowing exactly what she was feeling. *

We don't want to go there, Pan! Well! My heart is just pounding! How fun!

*The manager walks up and she gives him a little goose before he can start ranting. He looks down at her in shock, then runs back to his counter where he grabs up the phone and places a 911 call.*

Uh oh, girls. He's calling the cops on us.

Don't worry, leave it to me, ladies.
*gets up and walks over to the manager, has a word in the managers ear. The manager can be overheard speaking into the phone 'Er, my mistake, officer. There is no problem. I apologise for wasting your time. Goodday.' and the phone is replaced. Further conversation passes between B-17 and the manager, who then walks away. B-17 returns to his seat, a grin on his face*
There we are. All sorted now. I told him if he persisted in calling the police, then I would have to explain to the officers about the managers illegal gambling den, using the teashop as a cover for his illicit money laundering. We will have no further trouble from that quarter!

*Beholds young Babel in a new light instead of as a sex object*

Ohh, how exciting! *Turns enthusiastically to her companions* Did you hear the young man, dears? We've walked right into an Agatha Christie plot!

*Turns up her collar and slips her clip-on dark glasses to her spectacles and starts to suck on a lolly pop*

*Pandora begins to sputter. Face & neck all reddened. Chest still heaving* I, er, um, well now, thank you Babel-17 and Gwinnie & well ALL of you have managed (no pun intended) to keep my arse out of a sling! I, er, well usually I don't, well if I've been drinking wine I.
Oh, pardon me whilst I go freshen up a bit! *Pan begins to race off to the ladies room-stops-turns & hastily retrieves her stocking and a garter* I'll just be a moment then. *bumps into every table and chair along the way...can be heard muttering excuse me, pardon, etc. all the way. Then as the washroom door closes everyone jumps in their seat as a VERY loud : "YAH-HOO!" is heard throughout the tea rooms!*

How undignified, I must say. Well, since we're not about to be hauled off to the hoosgow, I may as well order a fresh pot of tea. Babel-17, you are proving yourself to be useful.

*Her cellphone rings just then. She fumbles it out of her purse and answers.*

Yes?

Who?

What? What? Speak up? I'm in the teashop. No one important. Really? All right! Lovely!

*She hangs up the phone and looks smug.*

I have a young friend who may be stopping by in a bit.

~walks in wearing his newly acquired Italian suit. Just had a haircut so he feels refreshed. On the way home he decided to have a nice cup of tea. Stopped by a nearby shop first and continued to the tea room~

Good evening ladies.

~notices the one he was looking for~

Mari-rae darling, You look astonishing tonight

~hands over red rose to Mari-rae~

*Offers a withered cheek to be kissed, and accepts the rose. Kheldar tucks the sweet smelling bloom into the bodice of her dress.*

This is my good friend, Kheldar. He and I have had many, um, adventures together.

*Pandora returns from the washroom. Stockings & clothes srtaighted. Newly applied lipstick (no rouge needed)* "Hello everyone, did I miss anyth *Spots the YOUNG MAN * Well, hello there!" *Leans toward Mari-rae...I say, are you ladies 'growing' them or what?!?* "Seems we have an addition here." Entends her hand quiet meekly,"My name is Pandora,
and whom might you be YOUNG MAN?" *leans her head down to see better over the top of her bi-focals...realizes she's not wearing them! Tries
to turn the odd look into a flirtty glance*

Mari-Rae, you kept this quiet!
*Looks up and up and up*
Oh my! He's a big lad isn't he.