h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Would like to flip Pan off at this point, but her hands are too arthritic. Takes a lady-like pose and ignores Pan completely. Sits down at a nearby empty table and waits for Kheldar to return to her.*

"Prez!" *pretends to be shocked* "I say, I was speaking to Mari-Rae when I said 'bite me', but PLEASE don't let THAT stop you! I'm sure by now you've learned I'm quiet wealthy. But I've never had to PAY for any affection! YET!!!" *Pan does her own imitation of a Vampire..."I
one to suck you're"-wraps her lips around a tender bit of flesh on Prez's neck, gentley begins to suck* Whispers between sucking action..
"Would you care to step out the side door with me for a bit of fresh air & a smoke from my 'special' silver tin? We seem to be creating alot of attention!"

~winks at Prez~
Way to go, dude. Looks like your hobby is paying off this time . Veel plezier ermee . LOL!!

~waits another minute to make sure that Shazz is OK, then returns to mari-rae, who looks stunning in her lady-like pose~

I say, my dear. I believe there was something you wanted to talk about? Something about good times at Deimos I think? I'm all ears .

~can't help but smile as the memories come back to him, like they did many times before~

*shazz bucks up at the comment about 'all ears' and smirkd quietly to herself*
Hey Marie-rae! Was it you who confessed to an unhealthy interest in Ferengi a while back? I don't quite think that Kheldar has the SIZE you are looking for!
And what was that comment about going for a ride? Surely we don't have the village bicycle in here do we? ROFL
*Hoists herself carefully out of the chair and teeters towards Wowbagger at the bar.*
shazzPRME

*Waves a knotted hand in the air as one would with an annoying, buzzing, ugly, leggy insect.*

Yes, Kheldar. There is something. We have been together for so long and sharing your friendship has become one of the high points of my life. That we've become ~ahem~ even closer, has made me more happy than any of my five husbands were able to do. So, I wanted to give you this as a token of my esteem.

*Withdraws a silver box from her purse and places the box into Kheldar's strong hands. It is engraved with his name. When he opens it he finds a pear cut sapphire the size of a robin's egg, winking with glorious faceted beauty at him.*

Do you remember it, darling boy?

*Leans at the bar. Thinks: Hmmm these pretzels are making me thirsty. Looks back at the crowd parting as Shazz strolls suggestively up to the bar. Tries to act suave.*

G'Day luv. Glad to see you're out of that little tangle. My shout.

*passes beer to shazz*

Geez you're lookin' swish luv. Howzabout you'n'me showin' these jokers how to really dance, ay?

~blinks as he suddenly realizes where and when he saw that sapphire before~

Yes, I most certainly remember. It's unlike anything I've ever seen in my life. Apart from your eyes, of course

*On overhearing Kheldar's comments to her friend, Gwennie cringes and almost chokes on her drink, spraying Androyd with vodka & tonic*

Good heavens, Kheldar dahling! Couldn't you have thought of a more original complement? When's the last time you REALLY looked at Mari-Rae's eyes? Besides, I'm surprised you can see anything through those thick spectacles she's wearing and without them, she's as blind as a bat!

*This insult is too much for Mari-Rae who pours her drink over Gwennie's head. Kheldar and Androyd wisely backs off as Gwennie looks just about ready to return the compliment. A space is cleared in the tea rooms around the two old biddies who start to circle eachother menacingly.*

*disentangles himself from pandora's grip*
Shush, pandora gal, I can't miss this. You can't miss this.

*Guzzles beer down so fast that little amber droplets escape from her lips and dribble down her amply exposed bosum*
Hold on Wowbagger my love... let's hold the dance until after this cat fight! Anyone taking bets?
shazzPRME

*turns to Coely*
Now you jusht shit tight. Thish is shurely shome mishtake!
(Yes! I've been waiting ages to say that line!)
*lifts Coelacanth on to the pillion position (page 69 in the Karma Sutra colour edition ) and hops on the bike if front of her*
Jusht in cashe thingsh get a bit out of hand, my dear, I want to be in a poshishion for a quick getaway! Hold on tightly to me......... Ooof...perhapsh not quite that tightly. *Coelacanth releases her grip round his waist slightly* Thatsh better.
*they watch the circling ladies with interest*

~wonders if he's cursed or anything, cause he always seems to end up in situations like this. also wonders if there's anyone around who wishes to help him while he jumps in between mari-rae and the tazmanian devil impression ~

*Pandora flips her long dark hair to one side. Looks at the cat fight in progress* "Same shi_ different day...I'll be outside renewing my buzz. You can stay & watch the two old biddies fight, if that's what you call two toddering grannies circling eachother! Sheesh! Now THAT's what I call alcohol abuse!!! throwing it on eachother!" *Pan leaves out the side door, silver tin in hand*

*Pandora flips her long dark hair to one side. Looks at the cat fight in progress* "Same shi_ different day...I'll be outside renewing my buzz. You can stay & watch the two old biddies fight, if that's what you call two toddering grannies circling eachother! Sheesh! Now THAT's what I call alcohol abuse!!! throwing it on eachother!" *Pan leaves out the side door, silver tin in hand. Prez watches Pandora's hips sway from side to side as she walks away...thinking-if I had a swing like THAT I'd hang it on a porch! *

*Still circling menacingly and rapidly tiring*

Come on Mari-Rae, give it your best shot (a double preferably with ice and lemon) before I fall over!

*orders another round from the bar on Gwennie's tab. Settles back to watch the action.*

Gwennie, you picked a bad day to mess with me. I've been stoking up on metabolife pills all day, and I am ready for action. Fair warning. My memory may be slipping in some ways, but I still know my karate. Back off now and no hard feelings.

*She catches Kheldar's eye as he is about to step between them and gives a little shake of her head. Gwennie, thinking back to some of their adventures together when they were younger, looks suddenly worried.*

~understands the little shake and steps back. takes a seat and watches...~

* Pandora steps back into the tea room. Her eyes are twice as red as they were before she went outside. There's a STRONG sweet, green smell coming from the half smoked um, er, strange cig. hanging from the side of her mouth. She steps between Mari-Rea & Gwennie before anyone can stop her* "My Hell! Are you two going to spoil everyone's fun? What ever happened to friends getting together for a 'good' time?
Why in the World can't you act at least half your age(s) instead of your shoe sizes...except in your case...*glares at Gwennie* big foot?
Must everyone be exposed to your inner child popping out everytime you get a drink under your belt...except in your case...*glares at Mari-Rae* Lord knows there's not enough room under YOUR belt for another swallow! I was hoping for a nice dance contest. We may as well go for a spelling bee, with all this childish behavior! REALLY! Enough! You both make my back ache WAY down lower. Oh, that's right, you two are like children, so I'll translate...you give me a pain right in my ass!
So knock it off!" *With that Pandora flips her hair back, smacking Mari-Rae in the face with it & blowing a huge puff of smoke into Gwens
face. Then begins to slowly, walk away, with a Holier Than Thou 'tude*