h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Gwennie!
I thought it would be quieter over here for us old folks. Sorry about blue rinse, cardi etc, but it's all I've had at work for the past couple of days. Even from people older than me! It's been really funny, because I neither look, nor feel my age, so they know I will take it in good humour.
A friend bought me some anti wrinkle cream. I text messaged her to say that it was working. I now felt like a 20 year old, and did she know any? How is Possum btw?
Good here isn't it. Where else would ladies of a certain age get to meet young men? (Well, actually, in teaching! I get to hug lovely young men in the street sometimes, if they are ex pupils I have not seen for a while. That raises eyebrows, I can tell you).

Hah! Caught me out, canoodling with a young man! To tell the truth, it was only about a month or so ago, that I realised that Possom was a he. Until then, I just assumed it was a girl student I was talking to and when I discovered my error, rapidly read back through all my postings to ensure I hadn't embarrassed myself with "girl talk"!!

Poor Possom! I'd recently threatened to get some of the "older girls" in, to give him a hard time over some little point we were discussing, and then you turn up and he pops back in to discover the subject had changed to my arthritic knees!!!!!! LOL

I don't know what's happened to Time Lord. We must have frightened him away too....

Sorry it took me so long to getting around to posting a reply...This is my first time to play on h2g2 for about three days!

I'd be careful of those young men's young girlfriends! They can get quite jealous sometimes when an older, unknown woman suddenly hugs their boyfriend!!! I don't want to have to come and bail you out, you know......

Yes, please apologise to Possum. There you were having nice cosy chats, and I stuck my big blue nose in. So sorry. You won't stop now you know it's a HE though will you? 'Oooh Young Man'

There is one lovely young man of 30 who was in my class when he was 14, and since he works as the manager of a local shop, I pop in and see him about 2 - 3 times a year. Last time, I am sure he was almost on the verge of asking me out for a drink so that he could tell me about his marital problems. Ahem! I made my excuses and left!

Another, who is around 23 now, is also a manager. He popd back into school sometimes and some of my current pupils caught us having a hug at the reception area. Actually, he always picks me up and swings me round, even if we meet in the street! They called him my toyboy, and so now they always ask after him! They know it's a joke because his brother is with us now. He has a big flash American car and has promised to take me for a spin before I move.

Girlfriends don't seem to worry. I'm obviously in my dotage, (ie older than their mums), so they let me have my bit of fun.

Not been here for 3 days! How did you manage without it?

Erm....

Here I am popping in for "a nice cup of tea and a toasted tea cake" (uninvited, of course, but hey) and what do I find????

You two old dearies gossiping like a pair of seventy year olds getting a blue rinse on a Thursday...tch, I ask you!

Anyway, I think I'd better go and leave you to it - I don't want to intrude...

Possum, you are very welcome to stay and chat with the 'old dearies'.
Would you like a cup of tea?

Yes, Possom - the more, the merrier! Besides we need someone who hold the cups and saucers without making them rattle!

Would you like jam or marmalade (Old English with lots of peel, naturally) with your toast, Coely? I expect the *adopts her Harry Enfield old dear voice* "young man" would like something with more spice to it!!!

Won't you miss seeing all your ex-pupils when you move? It must be so nice to meet so many familiar faces. I often wonder what some of my teachers are doing now...*sigh!* They're probably retired and thankful they don't have to teach little reprobates, like wot I woz!!

It's difficult, not having time to log on to h2g2...My mind starts to wander and, every time I pass the puter, sitting unused in our kitchen, my fingers itch to switch it on!!! They should issue a warning on the front page of h2h2 that it can be highly addictive! I mean, before we had free phone internet access, it cost us a fortune in local phone charges!!!!! It was nearly time to screw the red light bulb in, above the front door again!

Red light bulb! LOL
I hope to go and see some of my ex pupils who are at uni in places like Brighton or Southampton etc. There are also things like speech day in December, which I will be invited to, and there is quite a good Old Girls Association which makes sure all the young ones get invites. I actually bumped in to one ex pupil in the Victoria and Albert last year, and embarrased him greatly with a hug, since he is a very good looking "YOUNG MAN!".
I've kept more in touch since the advent of emails and text messages on the mobile.
You should visit the addicts forum. I'll look out the link, I believe it's still going.
I'd like something chunky please. The marmalade would be nice too.
*holds out plate -____-

*Serves a dollop of marmalde onto Coely's plate*

More tea dearie?

I wish my old school had run something like reunions... *sighs*

I've just checked out the new Freeserve internet radio station and it's really quite good. The next time you're on line check it out at http://www.freeserve.com/fsradio. I've minimised the box and have had it playing all afternoon whilst I've been playing!

Do you think we've scared that nice "YOUNG MAN", Possom off?

Nothing better than a nice cup of tea is there dearie. (Actually, I seem to remember there was something better, but ooohhh - no - memory's gone. I'll remember it in a minute. Don't remind me).
My ISP is freeserve too, so I'll check it out. I often have a radio station on, but some odd ones from all over the place. Minnesota Public Radio is good - home of Garrison Keillor. If you don't know him, I'll suggest something.
Perhaps the library bus can order it for you dearie.
Poor Possum. It's exam time at uni, then end of term so perhaps your YOUNG MAN is busy?
*Gwennie joins in "oooh YOUNG MAN"*
His uni is not too far from me.
There's a new a link on my page. I'm ever so pleased with myself! (Old dog, new tricks etc.)

PS. It would appear that I am now 75 years old.
Eh? What's that? Stop whispering and speak up.

I've left a message on your page under "I ask you"!

Very nice, dearie! Which was the new link by the way (I forgot my spectacles...)?

Time for scones, I think! Would you like clotted cream and strawberry jam with them?

Do you think we should change our names to Evande and Hilda?

But who would be Hinge and who would be Bracket?
What about the French and Saunders "Stuff and nonsense" pair? Do you have the bust for it?
(Just replied to "I ask you", and ta for mail. Get mine?)
It was the TWL link. It's got a picture, which is the first one I've added so I'm very pleased with myself.
Strawberry jam would be lovely. Can't have raspberry - the pips get under me plate.
I think I'm going to enjoy being 75.

Not received any mail from you as yet...I'll let you know if and when it arrives - thanks.

*Looks down at her bust*

Nah! I ain't got the boobs for that character! I need liposuction on my bum and then have it pumped into my boobs! Mind you, I'd probably be very "unbalanced" and fall flat on my face without my bum to act as a "counter weight"!!!

*Offers Coely a tea cup of Domestos to soak her false teeth in just in case the strawberries jam had pips in*

If no mail by now, then it's still not working.
*soaks teeth, then goes off to rinse them out under tap*
Thats better.
What is there for vegans on the menu?

Hello there - good evening...sorry I haven't been in to visit you two old dears in a few days but I'm here now.

Isn't the weather awful at the moment? Do you need anything doing around the house? You just sit there and talk about the war and I'll go and put the kettle on...

Come a bit closer dear, I've got the wrong glasses on.

Oh Possum it's you! Gwennie seems to have fallen asleep with her head in the marmalade. All that standing in the Post Office queue.
Fresh tea would be lovely, thanks. In a cup and saucer please, not a mug.
We might be going on a little holiday dearie. Will you pop in and feed the cat?

And water the pot plants. No NOT cannibis plants! I mean the POTTED plants...

*Wipes the marmalad from her face*

What were we talking about? My memory isn't what it once was...

Have some more tea dear. What was your name again?

Forget the tea! I've got a nip of gin here. Mecicinal only of course dearie. Or would you prefer Sanatogen?

Isn't Sanatogen a laxative dear? That's the last thing I need...

*Regards her deminishing pile of incontinence pads*