h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

scorpio_witch,

Post 215 first paragraph or use Find on your computer, or whatever your thingy is called and put "aitches" in. It will take you straight to it.

For the uninitiated, both Animal(Prof) and my other half are from the same neck of the woods in Yorkshire, hence the banter about pronunciation

Enjoy the fishoil, Animal. Sounds good to me

Websailor

no, its Webbies hubby, he is from Pontefract, where I am and he retains his slang talk

Ahhh! makes perfect sense now. I was only looking back at the Pro's postings WS, so I didn't connect.

Have you got any security lights? I've not had much sleep lately as the foxes here keep triggering mine in the early hours - the darned things think we should stay up all night to supply them with endless amounts of grub. I am seriously thinking of turning mine off and relying on the dog to warn us of burglars instead. He never barks at the foxes.

Will be tuned in tonight as usual for the next gripping installment of 'life with the badgers' with commentary by WS

who needs TV!

scorpio_witch ,

Interim Update

No I don't have security lights scorpio_witch but three neigbours do, and as we are on a corner they all disturb us and the badgers. The foxes clearly set some off, but the humans are as bad.

One brock has been tonight and eaten half the dish of food, but was scared off. It is the night to put our rubbish out, and paper for recycling also, so doors are banging, and going on and off all over the place.

One neighbour is clearly not allowed to smoke in the house, so he comes outside to smoke, coughing as he does so, with all lights blazing

I will report back if badger comes back, but if it is late it will have to be in the morning, as PHM complains about me typing etc. so late They might be late with all this activity.

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Animal, PHM says do they still have coaloils up there? And do people still nick coal if they are not locked or is everybody centrally heated now?!

See you all later if I can,

Websailor

We need to come up with a Cunning Plan to douse all the lights in your neighbourhood from - say - 8pm until 11pm each night, every night

Actually, that's a stupid idea

The wildlife is visiting your garden in spite of the lights and the coughing smoker () so they obviously have a good tolerance of predictable disturbance. If you had no lights, no smokers, no doors banging, the beasts would end up spooked and not visit


Fb

WS - thanks for another episode (pity you haven't got a web cam) although this method is more interesting; cos you can feel the garden and its occupants much better. I go through my PS in the morning, knowing I'm going to leave this thread till last to prolong the anticipation. I've not been disappointed yet.

Brill

Just a quick posting,still trying to keep awake!!!
When we eventually got settled in our villa(long story if you haven't seen it already)the owner told us ,please dont put out the garbage until the morning it's due for collection..as the rodents seem to enjoy scattering it all over.
NO,he said when he saw my look of horror....the racoons!!!!!
Bet you can
t guess how many times we looked out if woke during the night??
We had the largest spider ever,in a bush outside,and watched squirrels playing chasing each other up the trees in the front gardens,but no racoons!!,although hubby spotted little pairs of eyes in the darkness a few times.

By the way...no coaloils anymore that i know of,not even any coal anymore

Webbie, up here, they will nick the steam off your brow(the proper word begins with S)if your not careful,stolen property staight to carboot sales and used mainly to buy drugs

Hi, Smurfles, Good to hear from you and know that you are back safely. What a pity you didn't see any racoons. I understand they are quite a nuisance in some places, but I suppose it depends on people's attitude and experience much like here with foxes and squirrels. . No wonder you are tired if you have been waking up to look We are a daft lot sometimes aren't we? Chat later when you have recovered. I'll look in to your space later.
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Hi, Everyone Else,

UPDATE ON LAST NIGHT

Have you ever tried to butter, and eat cream crackers in total darkness? Well, of course you haven't! You'd miss the butter dish, or put the butter on the worktop instead of the cracker. Then the cracker would break, and half would fall on the floor, butter side down, of course. Then you have to go on hands and knees to find it hoping the nice new trousers don't find it first

Then you open the fridge door to help you see better, and it blinds you, so you still can't see when you stand up. And that's no mean feat when you have arthritis

WHAT the heck has all this waffle got to do with watching badgers, I hear you ask?! Well, as you will have noted Brock got disturbed last night and didn't finish the dish off, or tip the table up so we knew he would still be hungry, and would probably come back.

PHM had to give up and go to bed as he has an early start on a Thursday, and he's a Lark anyway, not a Night Owl. So I proceeded to tidy up, as you do, then realised I had not had any supper, hence the cream cracker episode.

At 11.25pm something made me pick up the Scope and just as I did so I heard the table being tipped off. He didn't look too happy, but got stuck in very quickly. It is strange we saw no foxes either last night. I thought the Marmite sandwich would be sure to attract them. Both badgers and foxes obviously decided that as they had given such a good floor show on Tuesday that they wouldn't repeat the performance again just yet.

"Can't let these humans take our appearances for granted, y'know, Old Chap, Wot!!"

Badger eventually came up to the patio, and looked at the dish, very puzzled! Now I STILL don't know which one it is, but he seemed surprised to see the dish uncovered and the food half eaten! Now was the early "bird" badger the other one? One tips the table up first and clears it, then the dish, the other comes straight to the dish, or is it the other way round - Oh, I am so confused.

Anyway, he finished off the dish of food, and then ambled down the step. Now bear in mind that this is about 11.40 and I should have been in bed. Then he gave the garden the most thorough inspection I have ever seen. I don't think he missed an inch!

Why, oh, why can I not just walk away and go to bed? After all he doesn't do anything spectacular, like cartwheels or a Salsa dance . Anyway I stayed till the inspection was over and he had disappeared in to the bushes at the bottom of the garden at about midnight. Went to bed a happy - me, that is!!

I think it must be because no-one else knows - well apart from Y' All and most of my friends - at least my neighbours don't, and because it is such a privilege. It is such a fun secret to have.

I think I must be addicted

Did anyone see in the papers about the couple in Somerset ( I think) who had a CCTV camera set up in their garden to watch their wildlife, including foxes and badgers. They film overnight and watch the result in the morning.

Only they got more than they bargained for Strange Men, walking through their garden in the middle of the night. Well, some of you might find that an appealing idea, Gb, for one, but they didn't.

It turned out the men had committed numerous burglaries in the area, and one was caught as a result of the video evidence. Better not say any more, but I bet the story is on the Web somewhere.

I am quite glad I bought a scope instead of a CCTV. A strange man walking into my line of vision in the middle of the night would give me a fit The sudden appearance of a fox in the lens makes me jump out of my skin as it is

I was late with update, as I have been a domesticated lady today for once, peeling, coring and slicing apples for the freezer all day - bags of them - so every bit of me aches. It has been a drizzly miserable day today,.

The birds have kept me company, the squirrels have been swinging on the feeders like monkeys, and the cats have been doing a pretty good impression of flying foxes. I raised the large bird table by about a foot the other day, and it has puzzled both the cats and the squirrels as they keep missing their aim The look of surprise on their faces is hilarious as they fly through the air.

I have no doubt I shall be "on watch" again tonight. Are there any pills for this affliction Yesterday, and today neither my husband or myself have known what day it is, probably because our routine changed on Tuesday/Wednesday and we are so tired. How sad!! Must be getting old
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fb, you are right about the lights. Apparently badgers are creatures of habit, and they certainly seem to know what sounds and movements might be a threat, and those which they can ignore. Total darkness and silence would probably unnerve them. They follow their own scent at all times, round their territory and without that get lost - Aaah! Bless! Not much different from me and PHM then?!

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Animal, I guessed there wouldn't be any coaloils, or coal left now. Sad in a way, but better for everyone's health.

I am away to feed the just returned PHM, and get the badger food ready, and hopefully put my feet up for an hour or so. The damp day might bring the badger out early for worms, so he may be early or late. I wish he'd get his watch fixed. I wonder what time he will come when we change the clocks?

for now,

Websailor

we see less and less of coal wagons, Ponte went smokeless a few year back, but there are still a lot who use smokeless coal, mainly private homes, since the council house moderisation etc

WS - The absolute JOY , when I logged on tonight to find such an early posting - It was/is such an unbelievable bonus. I thought I'd have to troll through several hours yet before the 'Main Event'

Been with the cream cracker syndrome - the trousers invariably win!

How can you even THINK of going to bed??? you have His audience to consider - this is better than Bill Oddie/Naturewatch and I love Bill Oddie's programmes to bits; but there's still no comparison!!

On the subject of bird tables. My other half has had to 'plant' our's about two feet down, 'cos the wind kept blowing it over.

Perhaps you should look out for the local villains, get something to keep you awake - is valium any good as a restorative? although maybe coffee would be a safer bet (decaf perhaps) in any event DO NOT FALL ASLEEP TILL HE'S GONE HOME - the world awaits your next issue with bated (it's that damned word again) breath.

xxx

scorpio_witch,

Valium is a No No for me!! My only experience of it put me to sleep for days!! Coffee is probably the best bet. I am a Night Owl, so generally it doesn't bother me. I think it is the excitement that is so tiring. It is the most exciting thing to happen to me for years

I am sitting typing with one ear out the window (not literally you understand) as I can usually hear him arrive. It has surprised me how quiet both foxes and badgers have been, even when there is a "stand off".

Brock informs me he will forgive the use of <> provided you don't slip up and put an <> in it. I didn't tell you we chat to each other did I? I do feel an odd sort of connection to them. I can't explain it and it probably sounds silly.

The item I mentioned earlier, about the couple with the CCTV, mentioned that she "hand feeds" one of her badgers I am not sure I would have the courage - "biting the hand that feeds you" comes to mind.

I also read about a "tame" badger coming through the flap for his food and bashing the door down when it was locked< I firmly believe, that while helping them survive, we should keep our distance, and allow them to remain wild. To allow them to associate with humans puts them at risk - not all people in this cruel world are kindly disposed to badgers - and gaining their trust is not kindness in the long run.

Have some email catching up to do so I will drop in later if there are any developments. If not, it will be tomorrow.


Websailor

Good evening WS. Even Beattie on the BT adverts admitted it's good to talk - I do it all the time - birds, hedgehogs, foxes, my dog and cat; I've even been known to talk to inanimate objects like the washing machine if it doesn't behave itself!! Oh! and occasionally to hubby as well.

So glad that Brock has forgiven my unfortunate use of the English language - no offence intended - I'll try to watch my spelling, so he won't be too upset.

I do so agree that you have to be sooooooooo careful about where to draw the line, between the feeding and befriending of wild creatures. In an ideal world, we should all be able to hand feed and make these individuals trust us to provide a few extras. However, we know that there will always be the who will hurt; and it's not worth the risk - can you imagine the trust in those eyes being betrayed, because they cannot differentiate between good and bad humans? It doesn't bear thinking about.

You keep doing it the way you are - it may not be so personal but its infinitely safer.

Look forward to your next posting - night night xx

THIS EVENING Part One - possibly

8.45pm Woo Hoo! Enter Stage centre/rear Brock. Snuffles around for a while. Whoops! Enter stage left over the fence - one fox. Meanders around a bit. Badger works his way up the garden and at fox, who promptly jumps over fence again.

Badger comes up the garden followed by flying fox who reappears from next door. The badger sniffs around the table, eats a few peanuts and wanders around. He approaches the table tentatively, accompanied by instructions from PHM - "No not that way, you silly - tip it from this side or I can't see you. Left paw down a bit, Right a bit - up, no down.......Oh,"

He is not impressed with these back seat driver instructions and comes up to the patio. This one does a lot of sniffing of the air and listening intently. He is very wary and pushes the covers off the dish very gently. Definitely not as confident as the other one. Has he come early to beat the regular badger to it? I wonder, are we seeing Bertie and Gertie or Bill and Ben?

The clunk of the dish sends the fox running down the garden, only to come back and inspect the table. I am very surprised that he doesn't take anything. As scavengers they are usually game for anything that's going. Suddenly someone opens a side gate, and badger legs it down the garden, with food still left in the dish and the table untouched.

Both disappear, badger centre rear, fox stage left. No further sign of life....... Will another one come later, that is the question

Oh, well, think I'll try lying on the kitchen worktop tonight, as it looks like another late night. Blanket, scope, drink etc. at the ready. I mean, I wouldn't DARE go to bed would I?? Come to think of it there is some in the fridge.. hm! might not be so bad after all.

If there are no further updates I have fallen off the worktop

TO BE CONTINUED....... possibly .

Websailor

Lordy Lordy WS: If you don't post this on the edited guide you ought to be shot! (only jesting naturally) I'm sitting here in the house all alone 'cos family are still away - the neighbours know this. If they can hear me laughing at the current volume all by myself they'll have me certified!!

The vision of you asleep on the worktop, is more than a bear can bear; and how you'll manage to find the in the dark beggars belief. Still, whatever turns you on is good enough for me. Am going to try for a spot of shuteye now in case of future developments in the Badger Garden.

Night Night xx

I talk to the trees, thats why they took me away


don't talk to myself, that way I can't fall out with me

Hang on a minute - is someone here incinerating that I have lost the plot

IS THERE ANYBODY LURKING and reading this thread without introducing themselves? Or is it just us? Perhaps you would not admit to being as as the rest of us Do come and say hello if you are there

LAST NIGHT - Part Two (and Three!) Brock in residence?

The regular badger turned up last night at 10.45pm. He tipped over and cleared the table, and then spent an age wandering round. He came up to the patio- and looked SO surprised! His dish was uncovered and most of the food eaten He sniffed, he listened, he looked around, then back down the garden with his nose in the air

"who's been eating my "porridge" his face said.

It's hard to believe a wild animal has such clear body language, but he looked shocked and disappointed. He ate what remained of the food, wandered all round the patio, and lifted some bits of broken concrete round the edge to find worms The fox appeared and they skirted round one another but he didn't stay long.

The badger spent an hour covering every inch of our garden, coming back to the table to clean up a bit more, then the dish - looking underneath to see if there was anything left . We are pretty sure that if he had been the same one that came early he would not have been that hungry!

We even opened the window to discourage him from coming up to the top level of the patio, where most of my plant tubs are. He looked but took no notice of us. We gave up when he disappeared and I decided the worktop wasn't the best place to sleep, and anyway gives me a headache

On my usual nocturnal trip, this time at 2.55am I glanced out the window and thought I saw a dark shape. Nah, I thought, not again. But, as usual, curiosity killed the and I HAD to take a look. It's your fault scorpio_

And yes, there he was again, all over the patio, the dish, every corner, nook and cranny. Again I opened the window, and rattled the catch. Just a look - "yes, Mrs. I know you're watching, but you wouldn't feed me if you were going to hurt me. I shall be gone in a minute, when I've finished" He so clearly knows he is not at risk from us Then the garden, every inch. There just could not have been a single peanut or raisin left he was so thorough. Again he stayed for over half an hour, and there I was still watching. At least I don't spend the time and seeing any more.

Had a lie in this morning . When I went out to feed the birds there were little holes everywhere, and one or two slightly bigger ones. I am surprised none of my neighbours have asked why I spend 20 minutes every morning, stamping my feet all over the lawn. It must look most

I am waiting now, to see if we get two tonight. We are more sure than ever that the early "bird" was the other badger. He/they have got apple, blackberry and the usual mix, plus a honey sandwich tonight. Perhaps he was missing the sandwich, as I didn't put one out last night.

PHM is half expecting him to tip the huge compost bin over at some stage, as he forages right up to it. That'll be fun!

See you later or tomorrow folks. These 'ere animals are starting to rule my life

Websailor

PS. Sorry you are all alone scorpio_. Glad we are keeping you company. Are the family back yet? The men in white coats haven't come yet then?