h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm back. Did you miss me?

Well I found some vegemite http://www.h2g2.com/P124165 Well that will feed the Aussies, but I don't know about the rest of you.

Garibaldi: Whats vegemite?
I read an article today about this Aussie who's intent on getting all the non-native animals (cats, dogs, non-dingo wolves) out of the island, and he gave a great recipie for cat soup, if Vestboy is interested...

Grey: Wow, those are brilliant plans. We'll have a masterpiece. Here are the blueprints, maybe you could spiff up the design?

Wowbagger: Took you long enough. Here, grab this hollow bamboo and go diving, will ya?

It's an Australian sandwich spread. Unless you're brought up on it, you definitely won't like it. However I could let you have a little taste, as soon as we get some bread.

Yeah, I just read your article. I don't think I'll be wanting that taste ...

Wow, this is awesome. Let's go for an all around Romanesque style, what do you say? But let's not make it as squat--give it a bit of a Gothic height.

Um, I have my grandma's cookbook in my knapsack here. I'm sure there's a recipe for coconut pies of some kind. It's a bit waterlogged though...

Actually I prefer an Ancient Greek style. However, maybe we could compremise on the situation.

Oh, Fenchurch, I am not those unruly Okkers who decide it is fun to see a tourist (especially an American) squirm when they taste vegemite for the first time. However I am willing to share. This jar will keep my going for another 10 years of so *holds up a very small jar of Vegemite*

Fenchurch: Takes bamboo tube and goes diving for oysters. Hoping to find one of those kilpatrick types of oysters that I love so much.

Garibaldy (sorry, just watched B5 again last night and it seems suitable): agreed with the Vegemite - all who try it should only try it because they want to not because Australians love to watch poeple dislike it. Part of that rare breed of Aussie that doesn't care for it all that much (great hangover cure though).

Grey: Thanks for the recipe book. Now wonders if we'll find Maryanne anywhere to whip up the pie

We have vegemite in the UK. It's quite similar to Marmite. Their (Marmite's) adverts say you either love it or hate it and even have people throwing it on the floor and stamping on it.
I've put the whole jar in the soup.
But we should be ok unless the lid works itself loose.

Exactly what kind of vegetables is the vegemite made of? I suppose I could have a little itty bitty taste, once you find another jar...

I think Gothic would be nice... where is this island, anyway?

Vegemite contains: Yeast Extract, Salt, Mineral Salt (508, 509), Malt Extract, Natural Colour (150), Vegetable Extract, Thiamine, Riboflavin, Niacin.

Yum! (Doesn't say what vegetabel extract though)

It even has a recipe for "Mum's Prized Meatloaf" on the back of the jar! For more information contact....

Um. So sorry. Got carried away there.
*Goes back and looks for oysters*

How's the building going on? I can't spend all my time cooking.
We'll need a dining room with a really big table with chairs and silver cutlery and bone china and those litte squares of material that posh people put under their chins to stop getting gravy on their vests. (I don't know why cos what can they lick when they get really hungry?)

Arrives bedraggled, leading a cow, accompanied by Indian wife Hiawatha who is carrying a wok and an art work that looks suspiciously like the ceiling of the Sistene Chapel. Whips up 10 minute satay beef stir fry. Ingrediants. 1 onion, 2 spring onions, 2 teaspoons green curry Thai style paste or curry powder, 500gr rump steak, 2 teaspoons vegemite extract, ½ cup coconut milk, 2 tablespoons crunchy peanut butter, 2 tablespoons chopped fresh coriander.

It doesn't taste anything like my cabbage and pineapple lard cake

Yes but it does have the magic incredients of vegemite and coconut milk. As an entree try this. Succulent cockroaches. "Simmer cockroaches in vinegar. Then boil with butter, farina flour, pepper and salt to make a paste. Spread on buttered bread." Yum.

I've already told everyone - WE DON'T HAVE ANY BREAD!

*sneaks up behing Looneytunes, and quietly takes artwork. Snickers to self, tiptoes away, cartoonlike*

Psst! Grey! Look what I got for the roof of the hall, if we don't go for that sunroof/dome idea.

*Buries artwork carefully until able to use. Loudly*

Hey, You know what this reminds me of? Gilligans Island. *Laughs obnoxiously* AHAHAHA...

Um...I have no idea where this island is. Where were we?

Wow Fenchurch...that painting rocks. We should redesign at once to include it. What a cool idea--using it for the ceiling...

Hmmm...which room should be completed first, do you think? We could use a place to sleep, and a place to eat...

Aha! The billiard room, it is, then.

Rises from the water, oyster knife held by gritted teeth. Looks triumphant.

I have enough oysters for everybody! Passes 'round a few samples. These babies haven't seen the light of day in years. And look how huge they are!

Holds up massive pearl. I think we have our billiard balls!

You'll need to find a red one and one with a little dot on it too.
Do we really still have no bread?

I'm gonna put a message in a bottle. Except I haven't got a bottle, anything to write with or on.
*trips on something in sand"
What's this painting thing I've found in the sand. I'll tear a little corner off that and the gravy from my soup would make good ink. I'll just dip my finger in and write big.
H'mm that IS big. I'll need to tear off a bigger bit.
*noise of canvas being torn in half*
"Dear person, CONGRATUALTIONS! You have won the Readers Digest special prize draw of a weekend for several on a gorgeous island. All you have to do is follow the string attached to this bottle bringing with you a signed loaf of bread as proof of identity.
Yours sincerely
R Digest (Mrs)"

No bottle? Oh, I'll just use this towel I've found. What's this neatly embroidered on the edge "Winkie." Must be scrap.

Now if I just tie my vest string to it and cast it into the sea we'll soon get some bread.