h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

 So I found this group of people waiting to be abducted by aliens in this ship. I thought it seemed like a good idea, so after selecting an appropriate bottle (you should never crash a party without a bottle of something) I dove right in. Unfortunately the ship sank before we were abducted...or maybe we were all abducted and are now stuck in some sort of VR thing to make us think we're not abducted. Anyway, Grey Area found this island...it's small, but there's water, and fruit, and it seems that a crate of bacon has washed on shore...

But there's no Winkie. And that makes me a bit upset.

Vestboy here. I've brought my handy dandy cookitall solid fuel powered stove, clothes press and child minder.
Right let's get cooking. What've we got? Hmm, fruit and bacon.
Ok we can have bacon and fruit sandwiches... Anyone got any bread?

*hands Fenchurch a present* I think you will be more than happy when you open it.

Hmm, food. Yes I agree that food should be on the top of our list of things to do. Also setting up shelter.

Aha, Ive found a notice board. It says "No fires on the beach - by order of..."
*screws eyes up, rubs board, board falls to pieces*
It said the name of the council on the board but I couldn't make it out. I expect they'll have it written somewhere else.
I'm gonna light up the cookitall stove. anyone found any bread yet?

hmmm...maybe we could make banana bread...but not without a towel to pull the hot pan off the stove with

Guys I have a secret. The present I have given Fenchurch is Winkie. Don't tell her Ok. Maybe we could borrow it afterwards

Wow, a present AND good food all in the same day? *beaming*

*Ripping off gift wrap maniacally*

WOW! Thank you, Garibaldi, Thank you!!! You always make everything better. Oh, and before I forget-- I have sunblock. I thought we would need it on the ship, you know, aliens and their pesky UltraViolet light... and now since we're on this sunny island it would be helpful... Wouldn't want another strange looking sunburn on my knees like last week- and I'm sure none of you do either...

*looks inland*

Now, for shelter... you see, I took a class in arcitecture long, long ago before I decided to be abducted, I think I could throw together some bachelor pads or something... if all the guys would be nice enough carry the lumber and do all the actual work, that is

Oh wow... Bread may be in our future then. Think we can find some nuts on this island? We could crush them for something in the bread...

Anyone have anything else we could put in the bread. Where's our cook? I wouldn't plan on me--I can burn jello.

*Skipping and dancing around the island while singing*

Winkie Winkie Winkie!!! I've got Winkie!!!
"Winkie, you make me live...
Whenever this world is cruel to me
I've got you to help me forgive..."

I think I may love this towel a bit too much...

"You're my best friend,
That I ever had.
I've been with you for such a long time"

ARGH!!! Look what you have made me do. Oh well, it's better than having 'If you buy this record' stuck in my head.

*checks his bag* Oh, look here. I have 10kgs of macadamia nuts. I wonder where they came from? No wonder my back was so sore while carry the bag around.

Anyone have a hammer of a macadamia nut cracker?

That's the brilliance of Winkie- he doubles as a macadamia nut cracker!

*hands Winkie to Garibaldi*

Take good care of him, eh? Now here are the plans so far for the shelter- we've got this arch-type entrance leading into the Grand hallway, which splits off into the green room and the Piano room... speaking of which, can anyone play? Ohh, this will take a while...

um, how long do you think we will be stuck here? I have to be in Sydney on the 20th-23rd of August. I can't get a refund on my airline tickets. Maybe we should get cracking on the shelter and some form of communication

now all we need is a wheel-barrow--too bad there aren't any albinos around for one to be covering...or if we had a Miracle Max to help us!!

Um, anyway, we want communications/shelter. Do you think we can salvage any radio equipment from the sunken ship? Surely one of us is good at diving...maybe Winkie can help there too.

If we're going to have an arched doorway then I think vaulted ceilings would be nice in the main hall. We could put stained glass up in the very tops of the walls, so colored light would fall from above. What do you think?

~From beneath the sand~ "Mmmmmmff Boooogh Fuuuurrghh"

Oh my god, there is something in the sand. Quick kill it!!!

I hate this island already. I have a very bad feeling about this place

Clambers up onto shore. Dries off and looks around.

Hi everyone! Nice island! Does anyone have a recipe for coconut cream pie?

*Throwing macadamia nuts, fruit and bacon into pan and putting it on high flame*
This won't be a cabbage and pinepple lardcake but I'll do my best.
As for communication why dont we use speech?

As for communication, I meant long distance.

Oh, and don't be funny in saying 'yell', because I really mean very long distance communication. Even further than smoke signals too (just in case you think that is an option)

Hmm, I am hungry.

*goes looking for food*