h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You're forgetting, the Queen Mum is immortal, along with Patrick Moore and Cliff Richard, as discussed.

Fish & chips around here range from "reasonably edible" to "deep-fried bones with a side order of raw potatoes". Unfortunately there's absolutely no way of determining which end of the scale your meal will be at until you've started eating it. Safer to stick to deep-fried Mars bars.

oh yes of course - I was listening to what you said honestly - it just slipped my mind.

So what do deepfried Mars bars taste like?

I'm surprised at you Lochangel I thought you preferred a large
Vodka.
I won't have tea,I only drink coffee so White with 2 sugars please
and I've brought some garibaldi biscuits

Drool Frood, hello. Slice of cake?

Surprising as it may seem, I've never had a deep-fried Mars bar, although I'm told they're....... interesting.

Hey Drool how are you. I am off alcohol full stop at present due to some funny tablets the quack gave me. Do try the cake it is yummy.

Oh dear. The cake appears to have rendered Drool Frood incapable of speech.

E V what does your Mum put in this cake? I am worried about the effect it is having. Should I be seeing double?

Perhaps you should have mentioned those tablets before..... the "secret ingredient" appears to be alcohol-based. Sorry about that.

Not a problem at all - it makes work far more interesting.

If you just assume that everything is a hallucination, it should make things easier.

you mean its not? Oh. Mmmm this could be a problem.

Oh hello....can anyone tell me where the toilets are?

down the corridor third on your right....... the cubicle on the left has no lock so whistle.

Slice of cake?

Cup of tea? I will be putting the kettle on again shortly. Very fetching it is too.

Erm, ok - but I'll have them when I've been, if it's all the same to you. Thanks.

This time, try and remember to pour the water out before you put it on - you'll get all wet again.

Yeah - I have nearly dried out - but still a bit damp round the edges. Still I got a free perm when I plugged it in.

You'd think Brian May would have learned not to do that by now.

It is very addictive you see - you ask Noddy Holder