h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[MaW] I suspect there will be more battling to do...

* he puts the juggling balls away and points up ahead *

[MaW] Is that where we're supposed to be going?

[YQ] That ancient-looking temple? Yeah.

[MaW] It looks ominious. I'm sure many dangerous things await our coming.

* he lifts a hand, and a jet of blue flame shoots into the sky with a roaring sound *

[MaW] Unfortunately for them, we're fairly dangerous as well. Positively lethal, in fact.

[YC] Okay. [to YQ] Remind me next time not to pick someone who's alignment is "evil".

[YQ] You don't have a choice.

[MaW] I'm not evil as such. More like Chaotic Neutral. Hadn't you better slow down before we hit the wall?

Jade: Yes, rather, what he said. En't we going to hit the wall?

Thras: Ehhh, no, p'raps not. P'raps he has one of those fancy little drag-parachutes or summat.

Jade: Perhaps he does. And yes, I agree with MaW, we're very leathal. But we're not evil, as such.

Thras: Yes. In fact Jade and I are positively cute!

Jade: Hear hear!

* MaW leaps out of the speeder because it really doesn't look like it's going to be able to stop in time. He rolls along the ground for a short way, then gets up and has to duck again immediately as something buzzes past his head *

[MaW] Argh! More robotic insects!

* he blows a few out of the sky with a wave of his hand *

[MaW] This could be tedious...

Jade: More than likely. But then whenever I'm with you two, most things are...

Thras:*looking about* Where's YK gone? He hasn't turned into one of those "Silent Protagonist" chaps now, has he...?


Jade and Thras: *exit the speeder after MaW, in almost ecxactly the same manner, but with a lot more grace*

* MaW deals with some more of the flying things *

[MaW] I don't know, but I think he's intent upon crashing the speeder into that building.

Jade: Well I dun't know about you, but that sounds to me like a fairly stupid way to die. I hope he jumps out soon. He looks like he's gonna hit the wall in about five posts or so.

Thras: I dun't know. He might have six.

Jade: *looks at Thras* You really think so...?

Thras: *shrugs* I dun't know. maybe.

[MaW] Well, I'm sure we'll find out fairly soon, won't we? But first, I think it's time to do something about these highly irritating robotic insects.

* he raises his arms and incants a spell in a rather bizarre language that makes the air shudder and the earth groan and the sky flicker. When he finishes, he casts his arms downwards, and the ground begins to shake. Small plumes of dust spring up in various places, followed almost immediately by bolts of lightning which strike an invisible barrier not far above head height and crawl along it, producing a crackling sheet of lightning that quite suddenly shatters, sending a single, tiny bolt of lightning unerringly at every single one of the robotic insects. A few moments later, it's all over. *

[MaW] Phew! I really must get out of the habit of using over-spectacular spells.

Sorry, I got stuck IRL for a week.

[The speeder comes to a dead halt. YC and YQ fly out of it.]

[YC and YQ] [hitting the wall] D'OH!

Thras: *winces as they het the wall*

Jade: Ouch. *to MaW and Thras* Anyone got any bactine...?

[YC] Who needs Bactine when you know the Phoenix summon and have a Megalixer?

[YQ] Nobody. But we don't have either.

[YC] D'OH! Okay, let's just use a Tent before we leave the Overworld. Let's save here, too.

[MaW] Oooh, we're going into the underworld, are we? I'd better make sure I've got all the right stuff with me. Excuse me.

* he enters a trance. There is a long few minutes where nothing further happens, and then MaW is suddenly surrounded by swirling white light and sparkles of multiple colours. When they fade, he's dressed in clothing more suitable for adventuring in the Underworld - lightweight waterproof shoes, tear-proof trousers and shirt, a self-cleaning shirt and a billowing No-Snag(tm) cloak. They're all black, of course. *

[YQ] No no no no no no. I meant "Overworld" as in the big map in console RPGs that characters are in when they aren't in a town/dungeon/castle/tower/etc. and towns are smaller than the characters. And you can save there and use a tent...

[YC uses a "Tent" from the "Items" menu. Fade out. SFX: A short jingle. Fade in. YC saves. Pause.]

[YC] There. Done. Now let's go into that temple.

Jade: That temple dun't look very...

Thras: ...Hospitible.

Jade: Yeh. ...And hey, YK? If this is an RPG, and Thras and I are more or less different personalities-

Thras: while being directly connected in the same entity, that is.

Jade: yes, that. But anyway, If we're more or less two characters... Well, wn't you only supposed to have four people in your party? I mean, traditionaly, that's hot it goes.

Thras: Or three, Chrono Cross had three, you know... *looks pleased with himself*

Jade: Yes, I supose so...

Thras: So what's up with that anyway?

[MaW] Oh, that's not a problem at all, Jade, Thras. I caught sight of a sign back when we were buying the speeder. It seems like we're on AD&D rules for party numbers, so we're fine up to at least six people. Thankfully we don't have to abide to their notions of character class though.

* he looks at the temple *

[MaW] It doesn't look very hospitable, does it? Oh well, I guess there's nothing for it. Where's the entrance?

[YC] YK isn't here.

[YQ] In FF4, the limit was five. Er, to get there, we just walk onto it like so...

[Zoom into the temple from the Overworld view, but the characters stay the same size. They are now the right size to enter the temple.]

[MaW] My, that was weird.

* he peers into the temple *

[MaW] Why are these places always dark? Oh well.

* he lifts a palm, and a ball of blueish light appears above it. Strangely, it does not cast any shadows from the adventurers *

[MaW] Here goes.