h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Jade, as you were posting the translation, I was posting the question. You happened to get it posted first. This is called a "Simulpost". Keep your shirt on.

*lol* I always keep my shirt on when I'm around you, YK. You might get too excited otherwise. And by the way. Spoony simoulposts! I hate them!!! grrr!!! But my appologies. I just really wanted to call someone a dolt. No offence, dear.

Jade: *to MaW* But you must keep in mind that this would be diffiult, if we weren't all leveled so high as we are. I suppose further on down the line it might get at least slightly challenging.

Thras: Though in all truth, that's quite doubtful.

[MaW] That's alright by me, Jade. 'Challenging' usually ties with 'insanely dangerous'. What's this?

* MaW finds a scroll lying on the floor. One of the ex-Kobolds must have dropped it when it died *

[MaW] [reads from scroll] "No outsiders can be permitted to enter the lower levels. The experiments are too important. The guard must fight to the last drop of blood to prevent any interference." Goodness, it sounds like something rather important's going on down there. Hang on... this is dated next week some time. Maybe this doesn't apply yet.

[YQ] Either that or this is gonna turn into one of those time travel stories.

[YC] Yeah. Go figure.

[Pull back to reveal that this is in a Crystal Ball; nearby is a giant, blue troll called the Blue Skull.]

[Skull] Fufufufufufufu... soon, my plans will be complete, and the Justice Eight will fall, even if there are only three of them! [glances at the crysal ball] Hey, what's it doing looking at that Temple?? [hits it; it shows a group of superheroes] Zarquon! Who gives me this Crystal Ball service? Have him shot!


This has nothing to do with what's going on. It's juts for comedy purposes.

[MaW] I have a strange feeling that we're being watched. Never mind, it's gone now.

* he walks across the room and examines a carving *

[MaW] What does this represent? Is it significant, or is it just meaningless scenery?

[YC and YQ] [simultaneously on opposite sides of MaW, and therefore in stereo] I think they're just strange symbols of some kind.

[YC taps a part of the wall. A panel slides away to reveal a sign saying, "Please do not press this button again".]

[YC] Hmm ... this looks like a puzzle.

##########
#$$#######
#....##$$#
###..##..#
###@@@@..#
#$$@@@@###
#####..###
#####$$###
##########

[View that in some fixed-width font, like Courier or something, to get what it looks like. The ## represent ordinary walls. The $$ represent moveable pegs. The .. represent tracks the pegs can move along, and the @@ represent a yellow square in the tracks.]

[YQ] Maybe we need to move the pegs to the yellow part in some particular order?

[MaW] I have little patience for puzzles. Why don't you solve it while Jade, Thras and I eat ice cream?

* he casts an ice cream spell *

[YC moves the lower peg on the left one space to the right, putting it in the center. The yellow squares turn green.]

[YC] I hope that's right.

[YQ moves the lowermost peg up two spaces. It goes into the center, which turns cyan.]

[YQ] Looks good ...

* MaW eats a large bowl of chocolate ice cream *

[Ah, what the hell. YC and YQ finish the puzzle, opening two doors: one has a Summon Sphere, and one leads down a passageway. YC takes the Summon Sphere.]

[YC] Hey! It's the "Mr. T" summon! I've been looking for this!

* MaW looks down the passageway *

[MaW] It looks dark and dangerous. Do you think there might be traps down there?

[YC] Maybe ... YQ?

[YQ] Could be. I've got Level 9 trap detection, so unless it's /really/ oblique, nothing'll go unnoticed.

Jade: Ice cream!

Thras: Yay!

Jade and Thras: *They begin singing a happy happy cute cute song about the wonders of ice cream. In japanese. Because it's better that way.*

*Jade makes two spoons, a regular people sized one, and a smaller, dragon sized one, appear out of nowhere. Tras and Jade begin eating the ice cream.*

[YC] That's just a load of spoony.

[SFX: silly thud. What do I mean? Just play Final Fallacy and you'll get it.]

[SFX: rumbling. Shot of YQ running up the passageway, pursued by a large boulder, a la Raiders of the Lost Ark. YQ exits the passageway and gets out of the boulder's path. The boulder continues going in the same direction, narrowly misses squashing Thras, and stops when it hits the far wall.]

[YQ] Well, there's /one/ trap.

[MaW] I thought trap detection was to allow you to find the traps _before_ you trigger them?

[YQ] I /did/!

[YC] [scathingly] Yeah. He tripped it /after/ he detected it.

[YQ] Look, I detected it and then stumbled into it. I believe it's safe. Let's go through now.

[MaW] If it's all the same to you, YQ, why don't you go first?

[YQ] No reason in particular. [goes first]

Jade: Oh what fun!

Thras: *looks slightly paler than usual*

Jade: You okay, dragon dude?

Thras: Yeh... fine... *is turning slightly green*

Jade: Don't throw up on me or anything, okay?

Thras: I won't.

*Jade and Thras follow YQ in*

* MaW follows Jade and Thras *