Journal Entries
7 thank you's for a bus ticket
Posted Jul 27, 1999
The people of the country called Yookay on the edge of the continent called Your Up have a strange ritual of the seven thankyous for a bus ticket.
The ritual goes as follows:
Bus conductor on reaching the upper deck says "Thank you!"
Meaning: does everyone have a bus ticket on this deck?
Passenger without ticket replies "Thank you" and holds up hand.
Meaning: I have no ticket.
Conductor says, "Thank you,"
Meaning: I have espied you and will process your request."
Conductor says "Thank you" as he takes the money
Meaning: you have proferred more than enough money for the transaction
Passenger says "Thank you"
Meaning: I see you have taken my money and I would like change please.
Conductor gives ticket and says "Thank you"
Meaning: take this quickly while I look in my bag for the change you require.
Passenger receives change and says "Thank you."
Meaning: Good you have given me the right change and now I can carry on reading my book.
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Latest reply: Jul 27, 1999
Accepting Drinks from strangers
Posted Jul 18, 1999
For some peole the accepting of drinks from strangers is habitual and generally sought. However according to the Intergalactic book of etiquette you should be careful not to offend.
"On some parts of the planet earth the giving of alcoholic drinks ties the person into an invidious social practice called The Round. This can cost the stranger many times more than the value of the drink which was bestowed."
Wierd huh?
"On Vrissked II the person who gives the drink has the right to marry the receivers first born of either sex."
While on Bblugg:
"... the recipient of the drink, having no previous knowledge of the person is safe to drink it but a second drink - now that some sort of relationship is formed is deadly poison. The antidote to the poison is having no feelings whatsoever about the giver. Once any sort of relationship is formed the poison becomes active."
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Latest reply: Jul 18, 1999
Waxing lyrical
Posted Jul 17, 1999
I have come across an interesting earth hobby which I think I will take back with me - if my luggage ever arrives.
You take a strip of stuff like fly paper and press it hard over the hairiest bits of your anatomy (that aren't you head). Then you get all your friends around and they watch you pull it off as fast as you can.
Everyone ends up writhing about on the floor with tears coming out of their eyes and running down their cheeks, but the friends are making a different set of noises to you. They are also holding their sides while you are holding the bit of your body which is now hairless and is threatening to burst into flames.
According to the Intergalactic Etiquette book the flypaper/wax/duct tape should be paid for by the person who gets to their feet last at the end of the episode.
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Latest reply: Jul 17, 1999
Intergalactic Etiquette
Posted Jul 16, 1999
Yow! I've found this terribly good book about Intergalactic Etiquette and I thought I'd share a few gems with the other researchers.
Picking your nose.
On Shadkkl it is impolite to pick your nose but you may pick anyone else's at will. So if you need your nose picked go up to someone else and pick theirs and they will almost certainly reciprocate. (Also ref section 42:13 eating bogies)
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Latest reply: Jul 16, 1999
Vests
Posted Jul 15, 1999
Having a superhero costume is a difficult business. Batman and Superman have an easy time. Batman's rich enough to pay someone to do his laundry and has spare cossies while Superman's step mum does all his laundry and makes him more cossies to order.
I, on the other hand, have managed to get stains on my costume. Even though they are probably easily removed with a wire brush, blow torch and some elbow grease I can't do it because another world shattering crisis could erupt and I'd be left nekkid with a bowl full of suds and a blush on me mush.
So, I am a stained superhero with gravy, chipfat and tommy k on me vest and I wouldn't like to say what's on the lower portion. I think I sat on some wet grass.
Anyway - I'm going to take to wearing my stuff in the bath and then using a hairdryer all over to try and speed up the process. The tumble dryer didn't work too well as I got dizzy, fell out and hit my head on the bit that sticks out where you put the money in.
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Latest reply: Jul 15, 1999
Vestboy
Researcher U45662
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