h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have made it clear to the people in power at H2G2 that the whole things works perfectly until more than 16 people are logged on. I am proposing that myself and 15 other people should be the only ones to continue to use H2G2.
Please give your reasons for being in the First 15 below:-

I think I should be in the first 15, because I'm great. And look, I've enclosed a picture. http://news2.thls.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/440000/images/_440219_gaddafi_150.jpg

Hmmmm. You look like a friend of mine. I'll give you a VERY provisional yes, for now but don't let it go to your head!

Vestie, as I am of course self made in any list managed by you, I will be content by just stating that I signed your guestbook and you didn't sign mine. Add the fact that I too present you with a picture.
http://www.aftonbladet.se/nyheter/9909/08/cleese.jpg

I did try to sign your guestbook but it bit me.
Nice picture. You look like my aunt - you can have a very definite possible yes for that.

Ever considered pulling a crank on your aunt and shave her moustasche when she's sleeping? That should be loads of fun...

Do you mean a prank? She has got a crank but it's what she turns to make her head go up and down while she brushes her teeth. That means she can have the toothbrush in a fixed position stapled to the wall.

There you go. Harrass me for making a typo. Like you never made one. I shall report this to the Star Trek-named technicians.
Hey, Olaf's back.

He might want to be in the first 15! If he does he'd better think up a good reason. And as for aunty's moustache it's an heirloom it was left to her by my uncle Horace and she never goes anywhere without it.

Oh. And does she take it off at bedtime along with her teeth and put it in a jar on her sideboard? Can I have a picture of that?

No, you're getting silly now. She had it welded on - she can't take it off and she's blunted many a chisel trying to remove it.

Silly?! Silly!? I'll show you silly, just you wait.
*trying to figure out how to make a smileyicon that smiles in an evil way*

Anyway, this is digression. Aunty doesn't want to be in the first 15, anyway. She'd pour petrol on the whole thing and drop a match on us.

Right. Well, I don't see an awful lot that want to be on your list, Vestie. Does that fact say:
A. They could sense the uselessness of even attempting to get on such a fashionable list?
B. They can't be bothered to apply for a list containing pathetic losers like us?
C. They're all members of The Dark Forces?

I was going to stop by at the launderette but a quick peek through the window revealed that they’re heading for some kind of crisis in there and I decided it would be rude of me to butt in. So I’m here instead and would like to be considered for this select group mainly, because if I didn’t have this place I wouldn’t make it through my working day. Oh, and here’s a picture.
http://www.undeniable.com/heidi/pic013.shtml
That should convince you.

Woah! Your pic was prettier than mine, Leeloo. That'll must likely get you on the list. I'm gonna have to find another one...

I'm not sure. Despite my aggressive stance against evil I'm not a keen supporter of boxing. Do you have a less provocative photo?

I've got one! It's at http://hem.passagen.se/jezze/plum.gif
You can't find anything less provocative than that! A nice old fellow reading a book he wrote by himself. Do I make it on the list then? Or do I have to put out the picturelink at http://members.tripod.com/hillingdon/David02.jpg ?
Hatharhar...

Haha – good one Duke.
So you don’t approve of boxing eh Vestie. Very commendable, but I’m sure that like me, Heidi participates purely for the fitness benefits as it is very good exercise you know. Wouldn’t want to disappoint you too much though so I hope you like this pic better.
http://news2.thls.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/315000/images/_317883_cherie300.jpg

Leeloo, who is that? I'm sure I've seen her before. Vestie, I would have made a link here to a pic of Margaret Thatcher, but I'm afraid my system might blow up in my face if I do...