h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Bureaucrats Jack, they're all buffoons.

Idiots Mac.

They're almost as high on my up-against-the-wall list as the FGs.

Some way behind Phil Collins, Bono and Ronan Keating though I imagine.

Nobody will ever be as high as those guys, Mac.

There's no way anybody couild possibly be more evil than that lot.

If the day ever comes that somebody does surpass them, I would hope I am actually not of this Earth by that time.

Everybody would simply throw themselves off the nearest cliff or tall building, Mac.

People think that the dinosaurs were wiped out be an asteroid.

But I have a theory that someone even worse than Bono was around so they all just topped themselves.

They didn't tell us that on BBC's Planet Dinosaur recently, there must be someone determined to keep Bono at the top of the evil list.

There are Bonoists all over the world, Mac.

Bonoism is the greatest threat to civilisation since...well, ever.

I'd take solar flares over this.

Think what happens to the good guys.

JFK, murdered. Gandhi, murdered. Martin Luther King, murdered.

But the bad guys??

Nobody has ever fired a shot at Bono. Or Phil Collins. Or Ronan Keating.

No wonder evil proliferates.

People are too fearful about what might happen to them. I don't think it would be simple as shooting Bono et all and then they are gone forever. I suspect they will still have a presence afterwards.

I see what you mean, Mac.

You can't kill Bonoism by simply killing Bono.

But it would be a good start.

Anyway, I'm done for the day. Talk tomorrow.

Need to get rid of his fans too.

Have a good one Jack.

Morning people.

Friday.

And being ultra-diligent as usual, I'll be here until lunchtime.

Friday

Except its the toyshow night and I have been ordered to watch it

Bah Humbug

What is the FG that you were talking about - I kept reading it as Fianne Gael

The FG stands for the Football Gods.

I'll be watching the Toy Show too.

But I'll be out drinking tomorrow.

Morning people. Well, just about.

Further to what we said yesterday, why is there even a financial crisis anyway? Can't we just add £10,000 to everybody's bank account? I mean afer all, what is in our accounts are just numbers anyway. It's not like physical money gets moved over to each cash machine we use.

From what I can gather, Mac, the problem is that everybody owes money to somebody.

So if we just discover who the somebodies are, tell them to go to hell and maybe give them a few quid - say that 10 grand you mentioned - for their trouble, the problem is surely solved.

Precisely Jack. Or if we can't find them, just write everything off and let's start from scratch.

Yeah, why bother trying to find them. Just stop paying them. Problem solved.

The numbers are weird. It looks like massive finanial institutions owe billions or maybe even trillions (whatever they are) to other financial institutions who also owe billions to other institutions and so on.

I reckon if you add up everybody's debt there wouldn't be enough money in the world to pay it all off.