h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Morning people.

I made it in to work in time for tea break.

So I wasn't late.

Jack, well done.

Also, so they make us lose and then Man Utd and Spuds lose the day after? I really can't work the FG's out.

Weird all right, Mac.

But in a way by making United lose they're rubbing our noses in it still further. At the time losing to City was no big deal because we weren't likely to win the tournament anyway. But with United going out we now realise that we actually would have been likely to win it if we'd got the result we deserved.

So even though Palace's win was very amusing it still shows how evil the FGs are.

They won't let us fully enjoy the sight of United losing to a pub team.

Now you've dissected it for me Jack, it's plain to see, they haven't softened after all.

What about the Spuds result though?

Well, it was amusing of course to see the Spuds losing at home against a pub team with ten men but they will inevitably slaughter Shamrock Rovers and all that remains is for Rubin Kazan to lose in Greece.

So, in spite of a brief enjoyable night the FGs will ensure that we will be ultimately disappointed at the sight of the Spuds progressing.

That's how they work. They throw us a bone every now and then just to make us think things are looking up......and then they come down on us like a ton of bricks.

It's a clever tactic, if it was just misery all the time then we'd possibly lose interest but they do just enough to make us think, well if we win this one after our rivals have lost, we might be on to something. And then we'll lose.

Tuesday and Wednesday next week had better be good. If it just ends up Chelsea, Man Utd and Man City all progressing, the FGs have some explaining to do.

They will all inevitably qualify, Mac.

And worse, they'll all get easier draws than us. We'll head to Milan while United get Apoel and Chelsea and City get whoever the other rubbish teams are.

Mark my words.

Bayer Leverkusen would probably be the easiest for Citeh. Chelsea can still top their group and will get Trabzonspor.

If Chelsea do top their group then I guess the next easiest for Citeh would be Benfica or Inter.

See Mac?

We are now able to predict what the FGs are going to do.

Now, someone is about to move all my stuff to my new desk so I may be gone for a half hour or so.

Hurt him if it isn't put back as it was.

Well, I'm up and running agin but the whole place is a mess of cables.

Anyway, it's sorted just in time for lunch.

Good timing Jack.

Lunch over.

It's a litle weird being in a new desk. I was in the other desk for five and a half years.

I've only moved a few metres but the view is different. A lot nicer than the view I previously had over the backs of all the various restaurants in what passes for Chinatown.

Not that someone as diligent as me spends much time looking at the view, of course.

And if you were, it would only have been for inspiration at work.

Also, it's nice of the binmen to come round and do their job.

Bit late for binmen isn't it, Mac?

I mean, usually those guys have been and gone before the rest of us get up in the morning.

I guess they decided to strike yesterday, too.

They only come for a certain type of rubbish once every fortnight so you'd think they could could have done it yesterday.

Last night I had to put two different bins out.

It made me pine for the days when everything went into the same bin.

Why can't it Jack? If we recycled less, we'd have more jobs for people who need to keep making more plastic.

Good idea, Mac.

Why can't economists think of sensible stuff like that instead of threatening us with the Litter Police if we put stuff into the wrong bin?