h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

....which reminds me of the time, in my younger days, when I was in a bar and absolutely sloshed. Slaughtered. Inebriated. Ratarsed. You get the picture.

Anyway, I knew I was going to be sick. But the bar in question was part of a hotel. I made for the gents and immediately in front of me was a sink. Thank goodness. So I went over to the sink and puked. And puked and puked. Then with a glimmer of intelligence returning a question occurred to me. And the question was....why is this sink full of plates, knives and forks?

So I looked around and of course it wasn't the gents at all. About a metre to my left was a bloke in a chef's hat cooking someone's dinner and looking at me with a level of disgust I'd never previously experienced. Perhaps it was going to be his job to wash the puke off the plates and cutlery before putting someone's grub on them.

Anyway, I didn't ask any question. Just legged it out of the hotel kitchen as fast as my still-shaky legs would take me.

Booze. You've gotta love it.

Aw that is horrible - never in my life of drinking have I made such an ass of myself like that

Well not that I can remember

Did they not throw you out - or where you to drunk to remember

I think I escaped into the crowd so if there was an attempt to chuck me out it would have been hard to find me.

It's all a bit hazy though.

Time for me to go.

Talk tomorrow.

Morning people.

Arrived just in time for tea break.

Morning people. I am now back.

Nice work, Mac.

Broadband Fixer Guy showed up at last, eh?

Well, engineer guy did when I said he would but it was nothing to do with the line. It just needed a new router, which I could have diagnosed on the day it failed but alas, they don't listen to me.

The world is full of idiots, Mac.

Idiots.

You're unfortunately right Jack. And one of them is the President of FIFA.

The higher the job the more likely the person holding it is an idiot.

Look at the various George Bushes.

It really pays to know nothing. Perhaps I need a memory purge.

Have one, mac.

Then you can become President of FIFA.

Anyway, lunchtime. Chicken today.

I'd need an accomplice so I can reboot my memory when I get in. Then I can make the neccesary changes.

Like ten points for an Arsenal win.

I am having a Classic today, I feel like I have earnt it after all the hooplah with Sky over the last few days.

You've probably earned a classic, a few beers and a three course meal with that lot, Mac.

That is what I shall do then Jack.

And send Sky the bill.

Been busy today

Imagine - being a civil servant and having to work for a living

Its wrong wrong wrong

Afternoon Mac - glad you got the router sorted out - I ditched Sky years ago and went to UPC.

Busy PSD?

If civil servants are busy the world must be coming to an end.