h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Small sausage rolls, Mac. They taste nicer than large ones.

I may or may not have mentioned that before.

I thought I heard it somewhere.

Mini sausage rolls should be the best logically, or once they go that small do they lose something?

At that size they just become a bite.

They're just teasing you really.

Imploring you to go for the higher ranking one I suppose though.

Probably.

Anyway, in conclusion there's only one proper size for a sausage roll.

So, nil-nil last night, eh? not to worry. We would have taken 4 points against Marseille. And the pundits were all astonished that Van Persie didn't start. Idiots. It was blindingly ovious he would be given a rest. When you've got a brilliant but brittle striker you rarely, if ever, play him three times in seven days.

Especially as you can be fairly sure he will play for the Netherlands soon, despite them only having friendlies to play.

So long as we don't lose against Borussia Dortmund, we should be fine. Milan will probably beat Barcelona and we'll end up facing Barca anyway.

That's almost certainly what will happen.

The Football Gods will ensure we get Barca in the last 16. Of that I have no doubt.

Our only way to avoid them is to fall into the Europa League.

And we've probably messed that up too now.

Probably.

And now we've got that Van der Vaart guy telling us that Spurs are still better than us.

I don't mind players trying to convince people that their club is the best......

......but what does he mean by 'still'. ?

He must've forgotten where we finished last season.

And every other season since god was a young boy.

Tottenham players say this every season and it always, always goes awry.

Fingers crossed it continues like that.

Normally at this stage of the season we're laughing at their league position.

Not this time though.

If we have our usual season in reverse, it'll be pretty good.

Anyway, I've gone with chicken today.

A fine choice Jack, I've got the Classic today. Not sure what to have tomorrow, I think I am having a birthday chinese takeaway at somebody's house. My birthday, that is. So I am at a dilemma whether to have too much for lunch, or save it for later and get more spring rolls.

Well as long as you can wash it down with oceans of beer i'm sure it'll all go very well.

How old will you be, Mac?

Whatever it is, I know it's preposterously young.

True Jack. Why aren't the oceans made out of beers?

I'll be 27.

Too old to be snapped up by Arsenal then?

Anyway, good thing you're not a rock star. 27 is a bad age for them.

True Jack, well that a junkie too.