h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I didn't, Mac.

It's not a case of not admitting it publically. Or publicly.

I was afraid if I'd had a second one I'd still be in the pub at closing time.

The second pint is tipping point I reckon. Once you've had two you're there for the rest of the day.

Ah yeah, this is why you shouldn't correct someone's spelling.

Jack you should be there for the day anyway.

I know, Mac.

But I have responsibilities.

Responsibilities suck. They undermine your boozing.

So what's on the agenda instead of drinking Jack?

W*rking, Mac.

I'm doing something that has to be finished tomorrow because I'm not in on Monday.

And it's roughly one millionth as interesting as watching paint dry.

Sounds good Jack.

Look on the bright side, it's not a millionth and one as interesting as watching paint dry.

When I said a millionth I was rounding up.

So it just might be.

When I'm telling myself to look on the bright side I usually just say to myself 'you could always be a Spurs fan' and it always, ALWAYS works.

That is true Jack. I wonder what hilarity they have in store for us tonight.

Even if they don't do anything funny tonight it won't be long before they do.

Say what you like about them, they're reliable.

Even when we realised that we were an international joke at the start of this season, they still managed to work their way below us somehow.

They get too much criticism given they are always prepared to make us feel better. It helps to be a joke to start with though I suppose.

I suspect they might get even more amusing when 'Arry leaves to take over England.

I don't know if you've noticed but he's hinted on very rare occasions (just a few times a day) that he just might be interested. Because it's a top, top job and he's a top, top, top guvnor, or something.

How would 'Arry cope in a job where he isn't allowed to buy players?

It might be a problem, all right, Mac.

When it gets to the bit at the interview where he asks what his budget is going to be 'cos he's thinking of buying the lad Messi from Argentina the interviewers might think it's a bit odd.

But they've said it's going to be an Englishman so who else is there? Big Sam?

Frankly, I think they'd prefer to hire Bobby Robson's corpse.

Alan Curbishley.

He's not doing anything. And let's face it, England aren't doing anything either.

I'll be back soon.

I'll be gone soon, Mac.

You wouldn't want me working beyond 4 o'clock, would you?

I thought you were diligent, Jack.

Until 4 o'clock, Mac.

Talk tomorrow.

Have a good one Jack.

Morning people.

Friday!

And after today I'm not back in work until Tuesday.