h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*raises one eyelid and gesters for loreth the drinkmaster*
please, could you bring me the strongest drink you can congure up and place a cute little umbrella in it because it looks like it may rain and i would hate to have it watered down
monsy

*Consults with Doctor John. He nods and mixes several interesting-looking liquids, some gas, and a tooth. Ioreth tiptoes over and places this drink on the table beside Monsy, but doens't bother to remind her that they're indoors.*

Hey, Garibaldi!.....Have you got a workshop around here?

I'll take luxury class......(wouldn't want to tip my hand)


Hey loreth, could I have an American "piss" beer over here?...don't worry which brand...I'm not picky!

NM

*Hands over a glass of Budweiser.*

Thanks for paying Gwennie... ~grin~... me never thinks of such things as money... me like royalty in that respect... ~bigger grin~...

~Greebo jumps on Monsy's lap... ~ Oh waitress... can me have a glass of milk please...

Glass of milk it is.
Would you possibly want chocolate milk?

Nooo... ~grin~... just milk... er... and could me have a straw as well... my tongue doesn;t reach to the bottom of most glasses...

Oh well. A glass of milk and funky curly straw for Greebo.
And a chocolate milk for myself.

Woken by the feeling of a cat getting up from his sleeping head and the sound of a boat motor running, the president strolled on over to the gangplank and walked aboard. Exchanging his cat hat for a sporty skipper's cap, he walks over to the bow and, using some duct tape, he sticks the one-eyed teddy pig on it.

"I'd like to christen this vessel 'One-eye Pork Chop', if that's okay with you Gari. is that okay with you, Gari?"

One Eyed Pork Chop, hey? Sounds like the sort of name you'd need planning permission for! Still, I'm game!

Here's "Bud in your eye!" Thanks, loreth......makes me feel like I'm home!

*NM lays back on his "California King" waterbed, and prepares to inter the cyber world via his newly concocted, voice activated, big-screen, high speed internet "confuser"!*

Now THIS is a cruise!....Now...what WAS that MOPAR website URL?

NM

~Greebo see's the waterbed...~ Wow that looks comfy... ~grin~... me thinks me will just join you... ~Greebo runs over to the waterbed and starts to climb on... not getting a good grip she extends her titanium tipped falsies... ~

Oooopsss... ~sheepish grin~

Sorry... ~ Greebo leaves Fairly Strange's world rather deflated!!!~

*Throws FS/NM the duct tape used to attach the ship mascotte*

Maybe this'll save your shattered world...

*cracks open one eye to see what all the commotion is about*
hehe!! oh my! i always did say he was 'all wet' hehe!!
*looks down and notices Greebo on her lap and begins scratching her behind her ears and under her chin as she closes her cracked eyelid once more*
monsy

*HHHmmm......I don't think even duct tape can fix this!* NM thinks to himself.

I GOT AN IDEA!!!!!He-he!

*NM lines bottom of bedframe with duct tape, (leaving heater in place), fills with water....adds a couple of "high velocity" water pumps.*

Viola!!!!!!"When life hands you lemons, make lemonade!".....In this case, "When Greebo hands you a deflated waterbed.....make a Hot Tub!"

Thanks for the tape, Prez!!!! I couldn't have done it without you!

*Computer......H2G2.com/U40399.....and quickly!*

NM

*Settles on a deck chair and yawns...*

Well, if you ask me, it's really tempting fate having a water bed around our Greebo!

*Notices Greebo asleep on Monsy's lap*

Aw! Isn't that sweet?!

Duct tape can do anything. Anything.
*Pulls out her duct tape wallet. Removes a small card listing the top one hundreduses of duct tape Begins to read, but then decides to spare the others. Pencils in "make hot tub" between "redo car seats" and "create lovely silver picture frame".*

*wanders from the luxury galley carrying enormous tray*
I see that everyone is here... well almost!
Can I interest anyone in a bacon buttie??
shazzPRME

~Greebo dribbles onto Monsy's lap... and decided to spare everyone present her dream sequence... but let me tell you it is a doozy... grin~

... they have melted cheese on them too... oh, I have some doughnuts here as well!... *smiles at Greebo*
shazzPRME