h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

so does this make it more or less difficult to deal with
anyway

Perhaps the root of the whole problem was her confusion over her sexuality.

In which case, Marv there wasn't anything you could have done that would have made the situation work out differently.

I hope she is a lot happier now and that you can move on.

Actually, that makes a lot of sense. A whole lot. I had a friend who basically followed L's pattern, and eventually came to grips with her own feelings.

What i can tell you, Marv, is that if this is the case, she didn't deliberately set out to hurt you. She was in a lot of pain and denial herself.

What I find disturbing about this situation is that these two women are the last two that I have had any sort of a physical relationship with.

Sexuality is a fluid thing especially for women.. ..

And now you've experieced what we call in gay community as "sods law" - theres only two attractive people in the room/club/pub and they end up together.

* Marv*

Honey, L's decision had absolutely nothing to do with you. She lives her own life. But don't make me come up there to slap some sense into you.

G7, if we must, you fly into LAX, I'll meet you, and we'll *both* go slap him silly.

Sounds like a plan to me!

No, really, you aren't blaming yourself for this Marv.

Plus, though it must be unnerving for you, it's not so odd that the two women you found attractive and who in all honesty also found you attractive given that I'd agree with Z that sexual orientation is not entirely black and white (though I'm not sure I'd agree that it's a woman thing particularly), can also findeach other attractive if their orientaion does include that.

I think sexual orientation is about as fluid for both the sexes, but men do tend to have a lot more internalised homophobia which can get in the way, of men expressing it.

Oh yes, I could see that happening.

Also there are more oppertunities, (well in our culture at least) for men to have causal meaningless sex with men, there are quite a few people I know off who reguarlly pick up men online, but still tell themselves that they're hetrosexual.

I'd suspect that when men want to expiment they can do it on a whim, but women are more likely to have a relationship as a result - so we notice.

Any road up, none of it is your fault, Marv. Life is just like that sometimes.

Poor Marv...

I'll echo what everyone has said up to now. It's not your fault, and please don't think it is. There's nothing you can do for her. Try your best to let it go. I know you want to remain friends, but please don't let yourself get too emotionally involved. I can't help but think that you're going to get hurt again.



Your friends are here for you, no matter what you decide to do.

Thanks Sea, and everyone else. If nothing else you give me some things to think about.

I don't really blame myself for what has happened, but I can't really see that full blame should be put on L. I honestly think that in every relationship, mutual praise and blame is to be given for all things good and bad.

I agree with that Marv, but if L was confused about who she wanted that would have had a huge affect on how she approached the relationship.

Whether she was consciously aware or not, you would have been battling against a brick wall and unless she was able to talk about it to you, you really wouldn't have made a difference.

The best thing you can do is decide on what you learnt from this relationship and take those lessons into the next one. There will be a next one too, in time, once you have let go of this one.

Beautifully put, Caer!