h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A diamond geezer called Bob
Claimed he had no intention to rob
Anybody's bank vault
And it wasn't his fault
He'd just fallen asleep on the job.

Some people only eat to live
While others live to eat
Some people are carnivorous
Yet others won't eat meat
Man does not live by bread alone
He likes his little treat
But there are those who starve to death
Because they can't get wheat

Hi tickle,I'm a bit tattered at the moment,Sin is having PC prob's and Polly has been missing for months.Thank you for keeping your end up,the footie season's less than a month away.Catch ya soon.R.

What aspects of your personality
Do you get from your Mom and Dad?
Sometimes one goes plain mental
and the other one simply mad....

You see yourself getting older
More wrinkled every day
Your bald spot's getting bigger
You're in no mood to play....

The music on the radio
Seems to have lost it's beat
Old fashioned peace and quiet
Is now that rare treat.....

Even when you are driving
You cant keep that road rage in
Winding down the window
and simply bellowin'....

Where there once was patience
There's now a twisted mind
You're becoming intolerant
At those weak excuses people find...

Your skirt is no longer short
Your legs are getting fatter too
I now have varicose veins
No more shorts it's true....

I guess what hurts us most of all
Is the choice of clothes we wear
It has suddenly become slacker
Battered like a comfy chair....

Still I'd like to thank Mom and Dad
Not for the standard of their care
Certainly not for the big ears I have
But just for being there.....

Show me a moon ray
Just let me know
Lend me the moment
The new moon will show

Tease my eyes
Tantalize my mind
Manipulate my vision
Until you can find

Any other reason
To give me some hope
Just to make sense
Of life's kaleidoscope.

Every lover has a warm side
If you're lucky they'll share that with you
Some call it a comfort zone
but...the right key will unlock that too

Laying bare together
Whilst in a warm embrace
Is why we're ever growing
To over populate this space

Humans just stick together
Like grapes upon a vine
Until like fossil fuel we're melted
Into a matured melted wine

That fuel may be the saviour
Of the next parasite that rules
That creature wont be human
They are gone now,they were fools.

Here's a starter for you, Rikii:-

We can't wait to see them walking
And to hear the darlings talking,
We marvel at their funny ways as if they were a pup.
Bit it isn't very long before
It starts to seem more like a war
And we're telling them to sit down and shut up...

Blimey! A win for the Villa! It must be your birthday, Rikii. Have a good one!

And we're telling them to shut up and sit down.......

Too soon they want to play
Yet....won't put their toys away
They learn to grunt and speak
You lose patience and your hair
They even nick you're favourite chair
Yet....want pocket money every week....

Belinda's prayer. (10.10.10.10.)


Reside with me lord point me to the way
Dwell by my side lord stay with me each day
Please hear my prayer as I ask timidly
For all my time my Lord reside with me

I'll hurt no-one or sheild behind your name
If I am guilty I must take the blame
There's many trials I know that will test me
But I'll testify you reside with me

Footprints in the sand show you've carried me
I've felt your hand Lord it has set me free
To rise above my fears so I can see
I'm ne'er alone my Lord while you reside in me

As my life nears it's final destiny
I know your love will always comfort me
Heavenly father hear my entreaty
Save us from ourselves Lord reside in me.

(sorry too many syllables in line 12 . )

Belinda's prayer. (10.10.10.10.)


Reside with me lord point me to the way
Dwell by my side lord stay with me each day
Please hear my prayer as I ask timidly
For all my time my Lord reside with me

I'll hurt no-one or sheild behind your name
If I am guilty I must take the blame
There's many trials I know that will test me
But I'll testify you reside with me

Footprints in the sand show you've carried me
I've felt your hand Lord it has set me free
To rise above my fears so I can see
I'm ne'er alone Lord you reside in me

As my life nears it's final destiny
I know your love will always comfort me
Heavenly father hear my entreaty
Save us from ourselves Lord reside in me.

Tonight I know we've many reasons to live
But who knows what we have left to give
There are many stains we all leave behind
Brown or green yet you'll never find
The sheer laughter or the joy of it all
That final groan before we all fall
The pleasure the pain the history of our years
The biography of us all recorded in tears
The kiss off and the ultimate goodbye
Can't be avoided how ever hard we try
Yet my friends....if you'll just let me say
Live all your days as if tomorrow's today.

Live every day as if it's your last - lying in bed, drifting in and out of consciousness (as I did yesterday).

Hi tickle.

You,you always walk on by
Yet you always catch my eye
The mere sight of you
Thrills me through and through
So that every heart-beat
Is much more than a treat
Although you will never know
As I wont let my feelings show
I'll just send you a card each year
Wishing you "A happy Valentine's day" my dear.

There are doors in the mind
You may never find
Openings that exist
Only when you are pissed
That clarity you seek
Just makes your mind weak
Stretching your imagination
Whatever the situation
Too see what you want to see
Even if it's imaginary
Like rage it can blind the eye
Great minds think they don't need to try
Desperation tries every door
Where wisdom opens no more

Life is a journey
Like getting on a train
The track keeps on winding
It drives you insane

Going at full speed
Holding on at the bends
Getting giddy at each turn
Until your tour ends

The money you have
Buys you a ticket
Some of us fall
When the first ball hits the wicket

Those that hang on
Will get to a station
But...short ride or long
It's their final destination.

In your eyes I see the experience
The real depth of your smile
The life that lives within you
A glow that won't go out of style
A dazzle a beckoning
A hope that defies all sorrow
A brand new reason to live
For what maybe tomorrow
Your arms are so comforting
As I snuggle in your embrace
My eyes are are rolling with desire
As I look upon your face
The future is but a dream
But it's clouds won't spoil my view
Though my destiny's uncertain
My future love, is you.

Well....just where do I begin
There's life there's love
The mess we're in
A tale of love? a song of woe?
Another verse?
Here we go
Every day a brand new sheet
Blank to start
Then it's complete
Another breath another heartbeat
A brand new task
Just time to defeat
Maybe it's foolish to want more
But...life's alive
Even when we're sore
Rich,poor,living in hell
Your sand's running out
The reaper's ringing your bell

I'm sitting here waiting
Banging my drum
Strumming my fingers
Waitin' for Summertime to come
The snow seems to linger
That cold wont go away
Pots in my garden
Are like ice-cream cones today
After about a year
Of continuous wet
The fields around here
Aint dried out yet
So Sunday at two
When time moves forward
Seems our weather'll be
E'er facing Northward
but...change is a comin'
Maybe nature'll take her part
Bringin' a new breath of air
and...our Spring'll start
Some blue sky days
Are due our way
Just when they're comin'
though...who can say?.