h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

missed,better luck next time.

....................(((KAAAAAABOOOOOM!!)))...hehehe did'nt miss that time


"brushes down clothes, and walks triumphantly out the door"

didn't u notice that i was wearing my anti bomb special indestructible suit.
nice try.

walks away dixie.

hhmmmmm i can see you are going to be diffcult

people have tried
people have failed
you will be denied
your efforts derailed

try your best
try your worst
you will go west
nudge will come first

Alas my friend
i fear your wrong
for i am mighty
i am strong
my mind is sharp
my typing quick
and this little rhyme
comes before my kick!!

that kick didn't hurt
i felt no pain
if that was your worst
don't bother again
mighty and strong!ha
in your dreams i think
you've met your match
nudgenudge winkwink

A worthy opponent
you definately are
but i will win this battle
by far

Winking at me
will get you nowhere
using male tactics
thats not fair!

A match is for strking
so come over here
and my hobnail boot
will connect with your rear.

Hey!! this is fun,

girlies in hobnails
oh dear me
surely only for males
is this she a he

i duck and i dive
your harmful intent
and count up to five
before my revenge i vent

hold your arms by your side
smile please just in case
eyes open wide
custard pie in the face.

SPLAT!!!!!! gotcha venie baby

I'm not detered
by your custard pie
here have a tomato
right in the eye

this girl is all woman
of that theres no doubt
this is my plan
to slap you with this trout


I feel a rissotto comming on!!

tomatoes and fish
rissotto sounds good
you'll get your wish
have some rice pud

over your head
all over your belly
and to top it all off
ice cream and jelly

food for thought!!!!!

A bountiful banquet before me i see
to wash it down a nice cup of tea

Hang on just a minute
i know your plan
stand still while i lob this strawberry flan

You thought you could fool me?
well try as you might
I've plenty more supplies to play this food fight!!
some potatoes and eggs
the odd cow or two
oooh dear your starting to look like a stew!!

eggs in a stew
i think not
it has to be true
your heads in a pot

with cauliflower ears
and squashed tomato nose
it brings about fears
that your mouth you should close

scrambled eggs in your head
jelly in your knees
you are soooooooooo dead
and your body i'll freeze

catch you later mophead

You've hurt my feelings
you must be confused
that desciptions not me
its that Rebbypoohs!!

your rusty old sword
is'nt up to the task
your armours a joke
and is that a mask??

I'll be back to finish
the job that i started
your head from your neck
will soon be parted

see ya later nudgy

ha!ha! i laff
at your idle threat
with my trusty staff
i will make you sweat

i cannot reveal
my identity true
the mask dost conceal
"adonis" from you

you thought you were clear
you hoped i had flew
be careful sweet wench
look out "he's behind you"


i'm impressed have i helped unearth your talent

Just look at the armour
"tut" what a disgrace
held together with nails
and wallpaper paste
all that creaking and grinding
must be a pain
tell me
have you been stood in the rain?

Call that a staff?
now thats really funny
you'll need something better
to catch me with honey!!

And less of the "wench"
you rusty old knight
i'm "Lady Mophead"
and ready to fight!


Talents always been there, just never had anyone to use it with. Your not so bad at this yourself!

all huff and puff
you certainly are
ive had enough
youre going to be a star

i'll extinguish your light
with my trusty sword
when during the night
i'll reap my reward

custard on top
ice cream down below
hair cut like a mop
you're face all aglow

Have i touched a nerve
and got you riled?
Maybe you should go and cool down for a while.

A nice cold shower
is what you require
you'll never extinguish
the heat from my fire

The after that
i'll fetch the whipped cream
Oh perish the thought
i'm stuck in your dream!!

goodnight nudgy

your breathing is light
you sleep like a child
but even at night
my plans won't be foiled

i will be victorious
the truth shall without
and with it the glorious
feeling no doubt

that mopheads have trifles
between their ears
whipped cream merely stifles
their innermost fears.