h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Its cosy and warm
as we sit by the fire
this rocking chairs great
does it go any higher?

Calm and peace
is wrapped around
this place
The single star
lights up your face

The turkey is stuffed
and i am too
but i've saved a little room
just for you

Stoke up the fire
put on another log
i've mistletoe here
so gizza snog

This cannot last
i have to say
its back to the battle
after new years day



Hi totty

very good venus

the dawn of a new year
goodwill has come and gone
kisses and cuddles,did they occur
who knows but the memory lingers on

we gave it our best
we gave it our all
now comes the big test
i'll set out my stall

i like my dinner at seven
followed by apple pie
with custard from devon
then i'll watch the footie on sky

please be quiet when you do the dishes
and make me a cup of tea
you'll have everything a woman wishes
ME!

i'll wake you up at eight
so you can do toast and tea
i think we'll get on great
with you looking after me


HAPPY NEW YEAR VENUS

I'll bury the hatchett
in the back of your head!
Your havin' a laugh
if you think you'll be fed.

I've cancelled that sky
you've too much to do
like decorate the lounge
and cleen out the loo.

And when you've done that
theres the lawn to mow
weeding to be done
and seeds to sow.

I'll sit back and watch
with a nice cuppa tea
ooooh the tables have turned
your looking after ME!!

Happy New Year T nice to see you back

mmmmmmmmm very good

at nudgenudge happy new year all
REBs

D'you mind if I join you
In writing this verse
I won't be too rude
And my jokes aren't perverse

I'm not great at poetry
So do please excuse
The words that I write
And the grammar I use

Brought up in the country
With no education,
I can't even find me
A proper vocation

My work at the moment's
Professional sport
"That's not a real job"
I can hear you retort

But I'd argue the point
If you thought I was lazy
A footballer's lifestyle's
Increasingly crazy

Just look at that idiot
-Becks, and his wife
He gets no real peace
In his personal life

I don't want you thinking
I'm going off-track
So I'll return to the thread
There - see, I'm back!

Feel free to deliver
Replies to this post
It must go through Venus
After all, she's our host

I look forward to hearing
What you've got to say
If it's boring, whatever
I'll read it anyway

x

< hey!! your pretty good

It runs in the family
I've got what it takes, dear
My Father's related to
William Shakespeare!

x

i've climbed off my sick bed
just to do your will
my hands are all red
from the cold and the chill

the weeds are all dug
the lawn is cut low
any chance of a hug
maybe seeds we could sew
(if you get my drift)

i'll treat you with care
we'll share each task
can i gently stroke your hair
or do i have to ask

i'll book us a table,if thats ok
in a cosy nook we can dine
i'll do the right thing and even pay
jen my angel,be my valentine.

i'll buy you red roses
and pamper to your every need
like eskimos,we can rub noses
our future is in your hands,indeed

Aaww you poor thing
how could i be so cruel
treating you like a slave
feeding you on gruel.

You deserve so much better
than this fiesty mare
someone to look after you
and treat you with care.

Maybe i can change
become more serene
but i'll still have my monents
if you know what i mean.

Oh Trevor my dear
come over and kiss me
give me a cuddle
i know that you've missed me

I promise to be loyal
i promise to be true
i'll save all my rolo's
just for you!!

i've come out in goosebumps
there are butterflies as well
my heart it races and pumps
why is this,pray tell

my thoughts turn to spring
of long walks in the park
the happiness this can bring
a goodnight kiss in the dark

laughing,smiling
being carefree
caring,sharing
how wonderful life would be

no work,all play
relaxing by the pool
the days would drift away
if only,wouldn't it be cool


i've surprised myself with this one.i'm giving myself a

Has cupids arrow
stabbed you in the heart?
left you with the feeling
we'll never be apart?

changed your life?
things are looking up?
drinking champagne
from the loving cup.

That warm tingly feeling
deep inside
ripples of pleasure
like the ebbing tide.

Arms wrapped around you
holding you tight
keeping you safe
all through the night

watching the stars
shining above
safe and protected
with a new found love.

i must be going soft in the head!!

silent is the night
my heart is beating fast
your breathing is so light
and midnight now is past

you gently toss and turn
your hair falls from your neck
it is now i want and yearn
a cuddle,a kiss,a peck

what the bloody hell is that
a buzzing in my head
the alarm clock, oh drat
its time to get up instead

you're not here beside me
a dream is all i had
a very pleasant memory
you're fading now,thats sad

Don't tell me your love
was just a dream
Thats really cruel
callous and mean.

I'll be you worst nightmare
I'll 'mess' with your head
Your blood will run cold
as you sleep in your bed

I'll be there to haunt you
with a ghostly smile
tap on your window
in true Kate Bush style

Your body will shiver
as i move around
your subconscious hears me
but i don't make a sound

I'm deep in your dreams
you cannot break free
cannot rid yourself
of the beauty that is me.

Kate Bush in my dreams
what more do i need
a raven haired beauty it seems
to follow where i lead

that hair so wild and free
and looks to die for
a body so perfect to see
oh please give me more

i'm sorry,now i'm ready
lost the plot for a bit
you're going to be Freddy
well the hat and the looks fit

i'll not go to sleep
you won't have a chance
and if in my head you do creep
i'll play some music and dance

the shivers won't come
my blood won't run cold
you will not make me numb
for i will be bold

will you settle for a share
i know Kate will agree
and in order to make it fair
you can have days that begin with T

Kate Bush and you
HA! you really are dreaming
Well carry on dear
while i start scheming

eye of newt
and leg of toad
I'll make you the ugliest
sight to behold

Wing of bat
oops i don't think thats legel
'shazam'! now its done
you look just like smeagle

grovelling and creeping
is what you do well
with looks like that
you must come from hell

Don't mess with this lady
you just will not win
a job well done
i deserve a gin.

i am battered and broken
you have cut me to the quick
with the cruel words you have spoken
it has finally done the trick

i loved you most dearly
and confessed my hearts desire
i gave my heart sincerely
but now you've doused the fire

my heart is broken in two
you've made me ugly and depressed
even as i stand here thinking of you
my final torment is to be addressed

the breeze is blowing here at beachy head
the sea is so sublime
and as captain oates said
i may be gone for some time

the wind is rushing past
the ground comes ever near
is this breath my last
it could well be i fear

Please don't do this
It can't end this way
I can't live without your love
each and everyday.

I've been a fool
I admit i was wrong
don't leave me like this
i really can't go on.

Take my hand
come back to my heart
i make this promise
we'll never be apart

if you die
then i will too
i'll sacrifice my life
to stay with you


this ones for someone else

well would you believe it
what a stroke of luck
the ground i have not hit
because my braces are stuck

on a rock over head
i'm just dangling in the air
i'm alive,i'm not dead
i must have a friend "up there"

so much for ending it then
i can't even do that right
its back to square one,jen
hope you're ready to fight

So that was your game,
it was all a trick
and i fell for it
I must be thick!

Well i guess its back
to the fight my friend
your arms i'll break
your nose i'll bend

I'll teach you to pull
such a wicked rous
i'll get my own back
and you will lose.

I'll use all my charms
to get my own way
I hope your fit
cos your going to pay.