Journal Entries
Americans
Posted Nov 12, 2008
I don't usually generalize like this, (Okay, I do it all the time, only not like /this/) but I think the reason other cultures find Americans so off-putting all the time is that they (Americans) treat every interaction with someone as though it were a battle. See, in America, open, passionate debate is encouraged, and expected as a matter of course. So, if ever someone voices their opinion about something, Americans feel a compulsory need to voice their own opinion and convince you why they're right and you're wrong. We're used to this. But this morning it occurred to me that most other people might not be, so if ever you wondered why we're so "rudely" forthright, that's why.
Discuss this Journal entry [5]
Latest reply: Nov 12, 2008
Marvin
Posted May 26, 2008
Yesterday I was listening to those old Marvin songs and one of them made a passing reference to his age. So in the shower this morning I was idly wondering just how old Marvin really is and I remembered that one of the books (I think it was So Long and Thanks for all the Fish) said that he was 3 times older than the universe itself. As you may or may not know, the universe is estimated to be about 14 billion years old, so that would make Marvin.........
.......42 billion years old.
Discuss this Journal entry [3]
Latest reply: May 26, 2008
Transcribed from Wikipedia.
Posted Feb 3, 2007
***
Obesity in the USA
[Kellogs] is facing legal action in the USA in the year of its centennial. It is alleged that sugar coated cereals lead to obesity in children.
***
No kidding! I never would have guessed! We should lock up all the cereal companies; clearly they've been planning this all along!
...
What's that you say? You think that this should have been obvious and that parents should have just bought non-sugary cereal, like cheerios for example? Or better yet, NOT bought cereal at all but instead cooked actual breakfasts in the morning?
...
Heathen! Heretic! He's part of the conspiracy! Burn them all at the stake! Brun them! Burn them! BURN!!!!!
Discuss this Journal entry [3]
Latest reply: Feb 3, 2007
The Undiscovered Country
Posted Jan 9, 2007
Home is behind, the world ahead,
And there are many paths to tread
Through shadows to the edge of night,
Until the stars are all alight.
Mist and shadow, cloud and shade,
All shall fade. All shall fade....
Discuss this Journal entry [50]
Latest reply: Jan 9, 2007
I used to go Trick or Treating.
Posted Nov 1, 2006
This is something I wrote at work last night, and now I'm putting it here to torture all the rest of you. Enjoy.
*******************************************************************************************************
So here I am, working, on Halloween. If you can call this working. We're not passing out candy so everybody's walking right past us, which means I'm doing even less than usual. I can't even wear a costume. Here I stand, watching, as a hundred people in terribly interesting outfits go Trick or Treating /without/ me. Although you can't really call it "Trick" or Treating, can you? Nobody does tricks after all; it's really just "Treating". This holiday would be way cooler if people were doing tricks before your very eyes, don't you think? And why don't you get the day off on Halloween anyway? There are other days you don't have to work on. Christmas springs to mind, whether you're a Christian or not, nobody works on Christmas. Even Wal-Mart closes on Christmas Day for goodnes sake. You can't tell me it's because Halloween isn't religious, anybody who knows the first thing about Halloween's history knows that it's got more of a religious past than Christmas itself. Christmas is just an arbitrary date chosen seemingly at random to celebrate the birth of someone who, in his time, was generally believed to be an evil cult leader. Halloween, at least, evolved out of a far older and more mystical event.
Mind you, now it's just an excuse to dress up funny and get free candy. Just since I've been writing this, literraly dozens of people have walked in here, asked for candy, and walked right back out when I told them I couldn't give them any. Don't get me wrong, I /like/ Halloween, and I'd /like/ to give them candy, but evidently the owner of the arcade has some sort of passionate dislike for this night, because he refuses to acknowledge its existence.
Incedentally, am I the only one who thinks any aliens turning up now would probably figure our entire species was completely insane? Not that we make a good account of ourselves the rest of the year, but to E.T. we must seem truly nuts now. Dressing up as hundreds of terrifying images from our collective mythology, and hundreds more kind/nice things, /and/ hundreds if not thousands of completely unrelated things, not to mention the decorations, all jumbled together in the single pursuit of getting candy that we can buy for 10 bucks at the store? Add to that the fact that even the "scary" things have been warped and altered to appear comical and silly, and Spock will say that the only logical conclusion is that here we have an entire planet that's absolutely bananas. Either that, or he'd say that we're so ridiculously unafraid of even the Devil himself that it's only miraculous we've survived this long.
But the thing that really annoys me is the Jack o' Lanterns. There aren't any scary ones anymore. Look around and what do you see? Cheerful, happy pumpkins. Cheerful and happy, mind you, after having their heads cut open, their guts scooped out, their faces carved up, and a small fire lit inside them. When people people bother putting real fires in them at all that is, now they just use little electric lights. That's all well and good, but it completely eliminates the "eery" effect, and it just doesn't look very good. Of course, now they're not really pumpkins either. /Now/ they're small, plastic creations that you buy at Wal-Mart.
************************************************************Time Passes************************************************************
News update: The Pumpkin Chicken is nasty, and I just read a fortune cookie. A cheerful message is on it's way to me. Yay! I wonder what it is? Maybe I've won lots of money in a contest I didn't know I'd entered. Or maybe somebody I don't like has died. It could be all kinds of things. *Waits expectantly*
Blah! Why did I buy this?! I /hate/ this!
*Eats it anyway.*
And I'm mixing it with lemonade for crying out loud! This is aweful!
*Eats the rest.*
There. It's gone.
*Drinks more lemonade.*
*******************************************************Some More Time Passes*****************************************************
I'm going home now. Goodbye.
Discuss this Journal entry [5]
Latest reply: Nov 1, 2006
Back to Mr. X ---> "Be excellent to each other. And party on, dudes!"'s Personal Space Home
Mr. X ---> "Be excellent to each other. And party on, dudes!"
Researcher U240730
Write an Entry
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."