Journal Entries
violence in Kenya
Posted Feb 1, 2008
It's probably my own fault, but I always somehow believed that the British in their colonies were not as bad as, like the French or the Dutch in South Africa ("apartheid"=Dutch verb).
Some very respectable professor at the University of Oxford who had once written a book about the colonial days of Kenya described the history of colonization as extremely cruel.
All different ethnic groups were manipulated by privileges, so their jealously would do the rest.
But people got castrated, women’s breast were cut of, etc. etc.
These things did not happen before colonization, although African people aren't any better or worse than we are. This is a historical fact and if anyone really wants to understand this sudden huge up rise of violence and ethnic hate, history must be included.
Why? Because it's history of Kenya.
Reasons are never an excuse.
I'm not talking about what the court and police should do at this moment, I am talking about the way we, in the West, look at it and try to keep it at distance, or look at it, including it's history.
In Northern Ireland we can see how historical fights and facts have their part in life 2008.
Violence appeared to have been extremely violence according to her words and book.
I'm shocked by it.
Jan. 2008 - a lot of violence in Kenya since elections in 2007
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Latest reply: Feb 1, 2008
verbal fights
Posted Jan 26, 2008
Well, I'm verbally rather fast and sharp, but the last few years I rapidly became older (57) and I even stutter regularly and get a dry mouth, so I've always chewing gum in my mouth when I'm outdoors and also have a mineral water bottle with me.
Cause I'm not only getting old, but also more integrated with myself, including the severely damaged parts of my emotional world.
I'm living in my studio in a complex for mainly students.
One of them lives his way of "young and bulky". Very spoiled also by his parents as he is their only child.
After a year I confronted him with his behavior that I could not accept.
In the conversation I discovered how fast and smart he is in verbal fights. Almost as I was in better days.(son of a lawyer..)
So I discovered I did not have many options. I just managed to keep in balance in that first confrontation.
After that he also got a girlfriend who lives in his apartment.
The second confrontation was far more difficult for me.
Both went outside and were walking around me while being furious.
I forgot the option to stand against a wall in such circumstances.(have been a social worker for a long time)and I became really tired so putting an end to it all was up to them and not me.
Afterwards I realized I had done what I could do.
I also realized that I used an old and unique "button" in my "soul",
by which I can exclude any emotions, during that conversation.
A third confrontation was different, because I want to use that "button" only to the absolute minimum, because by using it I put a part of myself aside, and that's against all my aims in personal growth.
So this time I was more handicapped during talking than the conflicts before. But it felt O.K. because I choose to back myself instead of putting a part of myself aside. But it was a risky operation.
The last discussion I used some skills from the profession of social work and told him, he was talking to me exactly as he was standing in front of me.
Suddenly a very short brake in his mind, but immediately after that he just went on.
Well; I do realize he has more energy as I have. He is almost as fast in verbal contact as I am, although he just says whatever comes up in his mind without any truth or meaningful words.
I also do realize that his girlfriend from the very beginning has been trying to make her own problems into mine. It's a clear example of projection.
And I also realize that two against one makes me very weak.
So my conclusion is; no more discussions about what has been discussed; so leaving these aims I had.
Also I concluded I want to avoid them when it is possible. That's to me being "realistic". Knowing my limits. But there's a far more important element; I want to stick together with myself.
I want to fully back myself and there fore I want to take my limits very seriously.
I do not want to walk straight over myself just to "win" from the urchin.
I also have a one-liner in my mind for an unexpected confrontation.
I'll say words like; "no more discussions with you, because you try to "win" in stead of wanting to consult".
And at last; I have changed my behavior radically. So far I was the only one here around who always took care for the plants, cleaning the hall and street, consulting with the city department, etc. etc.
A huge effort, but to me very normal.
My lady next door = above me is about his age and she seems to be taking over the conflict by talking with her three female neighbors,
that's it's time we all should take care of our environment.
So suddenly there was a new bicycle pump and broom and other stuff in the barn. I had put all my stuff everyone always used to my studio in Belgium. Not in a way of provoking, but only to push the pressure for the other inhabitants.
Two months later I suddenly see in the hall, that she made a timetable for the whole community to clean the complete hall at all levels.
That is exactly what I wanted to achieve, because my very first confrontation was from a position that I am feeling far more responsible than the others do and that it made me very fragile.
That last element I had never realized before, but now I do.
So my neighbor next door has taken the initiative to consult all the other inhabitants to buy stuff and participate in the timetable.
I'm not part of it, but that’s not a negative signal. I still do a lot and she knows that. Sometimes by e-mail I ask her to do something on line to also show her that also there I still take my time and that the on-line city subjects are a real part of living here, in our apartments.
So after she-'s done her part I tell her that next time I'll do that again.
That's my story.
But the "conflict" with the couple (they just threw their Christmas tree out of the window in the street, etc.) is still sucking energy.
And I still feel rather in balance because I have not been fully beaten in a confrontation, although I only want to consult or nothing else.
It would really, really be hurt when I would have been knocked down by a fast and sharp remark from him.
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Latest reply: Jan 26, 2008
A Happy New Year 2008
Posted Dec 31, 2007
That all of you will go fine in this coming year, 2008.
We need each others at the globe
and
we need each others at H2G2.
Really; best wishes for all of you !!
Alfred, Amsterdam, december 31, 2007
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Latest reply: Dec 31, 2007
The social triangle. What's that ?
Posted Dec 22, 2007
I just made a posting and it was a lot of work, so I copy it here in my journal as well. It's about a pop star who suddenly had become a devoted member of a religion (in the seventies).
Quote;
"It is from all times, always, difficult to accept a "black spot" at a person we admire, so to speak. I'm talking now about the theory.
Social psychology says this, about such a problem with a "triangle".
Most of the times we act like this.
1. My relation to Islam = negative, "-"
2. My relation to Cat Stevens = positive, "+"
3. Cat Stevens'relation to Islam = positive, "+"
This combination of two times a "+" and just one time "-" is hard to digest. We start to feel a little nervous, so to speak.
So we humans try to create a triangle of just one "+" by saying;
"Well,Cat Stevens is not really a Muslim. He's a European man who's just interested for a while in Islam. He is interested in world peace and not so much in religion.
So in this case the "+" between Cat Stevens and Islam becomes "-" and a triangle with twice "-" and just one "+" is a situation that's easy to cope with for all of us.
The triangle becomes like this;
Me - Islam = negative
Me - Cat Stevens = positive
Cat Stevens - Islam = negative
Another option is, that one starts to take distance from him; "Well, he's from the sixties. I never really liked him. I'm not surprised"
Again a triangle of twice "-" and one "+"
Me - Islam = negative
Me - Cat Stevens = negative
Cat Stevens - Islam = positive
The last option that can be digested easier than a situation of
"-" and "+" and "+" is to start saying;
"Well, the culture of Islam is not always that primitive. Kabul was during the Middle Ages in Europe a very modern city.
Islam is mainly positive".
This attitude creates a triangle with "+" and "+" and "+"
One can shift within a triangle the "+" and "-" ; that will not create difficulties in our state of mind,according to theory.
It's the number of "+" and "-" that makes us feel ambivalent and seduces us to re-arrange it into a comfortable triangle of two "-"
and one "+".
So, only one "-" and two "+" in any triangle will always irritate us.
In every situation there are many "triangles".
This is just a posting of mine, spontaneously. No more than that".
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Latest reply: Dec 22, 2007
The world in December
Posted Dec 10, 2007
At BBC 2 , December 10th in 2007, mankind is being fascinated by snooker, so for a change I zapped this evening to One and in a moment of self-destruction I kept my eyes in the direction of the screen.
Colours; as sweet as one can create.
Images, that are sticky by leftover sugar and dishwater.
Smiles; as big as one can fabricate
Music; sweet as Bing Crosby could sing, or worse. After five seconds I admitted myself to confirm that I was indeed listening to a song about white things, and things like dreams and an organized happening in December, yes, christmas. Yes, it must be about christmas.
What is christmas?
Well, I don’t think I can be of any great help, cause by nature I always look the other way when I see green and red and lights on top of trees, and automobiles, while suddenly the whole world is in search for the lonely and poor to force them to smile as big as the female cook does in her BBC program.
It’s also about a man, dressed like a red gnome, who comes all the way from the North with his reindeer and sits on something like a sledge and he drinks lot’s of Cola, but at christmas he wants to sell it as if it was the last water on the globe.
He seems to be friendly, but that’s the outside.
He’s a very friendly dictator, for from now one, there are only three colours in the world; white, green and red. White is meant to stimulate our fantasies and green to go for the dollar buck as never before and red for the law of the jungle.
From now on, there are only smiling peoples and those who cannot fake any longer are sent into holidays abroad to tropical Islands and lots of their own coke 
From now on, there is no moonlight, but only electric light, everywhere and nowhere, in the free world as in prisons, in Florida as in Moscow.
Why doesn’t she stop smiling!?
Who?
The woman in that cooking program.
Well, the woman I was looking at, has a name which the BBC assumes all of mankind already knows it for many inspiring years. It’s something like “Nygilla Leawson” . No, it’s Nigella Lawson. Here, it’s in the paper.
I thought that I was looking at old fashioned irony of the seventees, or at a beginning of a vicious thriller, like a sweet and shiny housewife who suddenly gets a visit by a serial killer, dressed like an escort man with a mysterious look in his eyes.
So I have been looking at a famous cooking program, proudly announced : Quote;
“Already an international star, in 2006 Nigella collaborated with the Food Network in the USA and launched the television series Nigella Feasts. Her 2006 BBC Christmas special showed her at her inspiring best. Her new series, Nigella Express, is currently airing on primetime BBC Two.
Nigella was voted author of the year at the 2001 British Book Awards. Her books have sold nearly 3 million copies worldwide.” End quote
Yes, dear freind, I do surrender, I give in, but my very last words will be; she smiles like a machinegun. Extremely inspiring, I must say, because I have never written about a food program that long.
Who the hell invented christmas!
Alfredo, december 2007
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Latest reply: Dec 10, 2007
Alfredo
Researcher U237909
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