h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

im still here... i used to answer to now im ... u need no permission coz i dont mind at all... just im incharge like you said!

I think im like Yaz then. I feel really insecure without the love. And really insecure that the love i have is actually love. I got so screwed up by dan i dont regonise emotions so much now...

I thought Yaz had loads of friends!!!!! Oh well, im here to throw her on my horse now if she needs it, and gallop to a safe place in the middle of budapest.

Well, i wont delve coz its not my place. If you need to talk to me bout ur dad i'll listen and respond.

The music i like is on my space sweets, bt i like most stuff except rap and cheesy music. And cheesy rap is just.... yuch. The two sca bands i like though... Goldfinger and Capdown.

Whats bad fur day?

So where have you been? I missed you

i was missed? awww... newcastle, and out with dan and then surviving going out with dan. His best mate who is engaged to my mate stated feeling me up on saturday and im NOT a happy bunny.

Oh OH!! NOT NICE! That Ba**ard! Excuse me, I'm not usually given to swearing but I feel all bristly thinking of that!

Yaz really does need you. She has trouble keeping friends and has a lot of secrets to keep the ones she does have, if that makes sense. I just seem to have a few close friends and then I drift through everyone else not making trouble, but Yaz seems to need her friends to be PROPER friends.

I'm sorry about how it's going with Dan. It all seems unfair doesn't it?

Dad's alright. He's doing some painting so I'm not in the way.

I walked out the pub and dan followed me. He hadnt realised. Apparently after i left, his girlfriend gave him a huge row. But shes not said anyhing to me... worries.

Okie - yaz... proper friends. I can do that... pulls on uniform * i hearby declare i will adore and look after Yaz to the best of my ability* hows that?

Dan and me are going to be fine.. Yes? Do you like what ive said about him so far or?

Stay beautiful
xxx

I like the sound of Dan. I can understand why you are with him too. That is good because I feel more in tune with the world.

*stumbles around a bit* But you said Yaz was obsessive!?

The girlfriend is probably still steaming at boyfriend and is embarrassed and slightly worried about you.

Yes - i said that abotu Yaz... the difference now is that my life is calmed down alittle bit and also that i realsie my mistake and that i realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly miss her and everything....

the girlfriend is always quiet i wouldnt know if there was sumat wrong or not....

Glad you missed Yaz. Don't forget to tell her that not just me. She'll be happy for once.

I wouldn't worry about the girlfriend then. She probably nearly cut the guy's gonads off if they are engaged.

Are you feeling a bit more chilled now? Or is your head doing circus tricks still? Anything I can help with? I'm here for a while.

Also by the way, not wanting to intrude or anything but that Stealth guy. Does he by chance suffer from Borderline personality disorder? I'm just asking because Yasmin was diagnosed with it a while ago, although nothing was done except to put her on tablets for a while and then ignore her.

If he does then you might want to look at the borderline uk website http://www.wardrobehudson.co.uk

Just thought I would add that.

Katkin! Yaz was saying your in truble and so is she... whats happened? Are you ok? Im worried....!!!!!

I didnt know Yaz had BPD... yeas, stealth has is, but the difference is that Yaz doesnt seem to play on it so much... how dya know bout Stealthy man???

Anyway... im worried bout u lady! Im ok - dont fret bout that. I'll live through all i need to live through, but tell me u k!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


xxxx

Hush...I'm here. I'm alright. I'm just a bit mashed let's say.

Nobody else has ever called me katkin. Makes me feel all small and looked after.

I only know about Stealth because I read that conversation where you two were talking about Yaz at the start of it. I had a small guess after that. I didn't read anything else because I didn't want to end up finding out anything I didn't want to know.
Yaz hasn't been too bad recently. I think she's getting worse again now but hopefully she'll get a grip again. Seems a bit hysterical at night though, don't know if you've noticed that.

Are you alright Gen? Yaz told me you were in a car crash and your mum got hurt. Is she alright? what happened?

Mashed... do you want to advance on that? I got really worried sweetheart... are you gona be ok. I know its not nice when that stuff happens!!!!!! You can tell me coz ive had it before myself so i can try be sympathetic!

Do you mind being called Katkin? I think its cute and i want to look after you, and Yaz too...

I think Yaz is a little worse yes, coz she was panicked the other night that i was gona abandon her, which i wont. Anyway... is she really gona be taken out of her school? Why? Give her a big wet from me! And one for you too!!!!

Im fine, my mum should be ok too... dont worry about it. I was comng home from Sheffield Open Day and an idiot slammed int the back of us. Only had the car for 4 weeks...

Oh we're both alright. I languished in bed for a day because I hit my head but I'm fine now.
I don't think Yaz will be taken out of school. Her mum felt embarassed that she had been so mad actually and has gone away to stay with friends. She hasn't been back since tuesday evening.

I like being called Katkin. Makes me think of spring and fluffiness and being looked after.

Yaz...well...Yaz to be honest. You know what she's like. Nobody can ever tell if she is making something up. Even she can't tell! You know how she's always saying she's not sure if she's just making a fuss or whatever? Well she's always worrying that she is just making it all up and everyone feels like this and yadda yadda yadda...

Was it worth going to Sheffield? Are you sure you're alright? You never tell me anything, and I feel like I just tell you things. I know you're not alright and that makes me feel worse!

Kat xx

Good, glad you're going to be ok, but do talk to me ok?

Yaz's mum left? She is coming back right? Might explain why Yaz has gone downhill?? As in she feels guilty that her mums gone and stuff??

You like Katkin? Good, coz you should connect it with me giving you and k?

I dont really get what you mean bout Yaz, i juat take her at fac value when i get confused... if she feels it, then its not a lie, coz fundamentally its int here somewhere

Sheffield? Yeah - i liked the uni, it was a nice place. Not sure i'll get the grades though.... Yes, i promise im fine. I was just in shock. Dont fret bout me not saying stuff... ifind it hard to open up with out soeone asking for specifics... lol

Take care ok?
x

Thinking of specifics.

How is it going with dan?
Are you still feeling screwed up?
Are you still crying at night?
Are you feeling any safer about sex?
Anything else you want to tell me?

Yaz seems to be enjoying her mum not being there to be honest. What I meant was that she thinks she might be making it up to get attention or something and if she doubts it then I don't know what to think!

What do you want to study? Where else have you looked at? I heard Newcastle is quite nice. As is Southampton.

Anything you want to know?

You see, i can answer specifics like that....
>>How is it going with dan?
Me and dan are ok. I took him to see where the clinic was and i think he was suddnly abit ore aware of me needing to feel safe and stuff. I think it helped abit. To make it up to him though, i took him to my fave shop, Ann Summers... i cant believe it- he told all his friends. Why is that a big thing to guys? I go in there most weeks!!!!!!!!!!

>>Are you still feeling screwed up?
Yes.

>>Are you still crying at night?
Yes.

>>Are you feeling any safer about sex?
No.

>>Anything else you want to tell me?
I'm in with a beautiful boy! (apparet from Dan) and he'll never be mine!

Oh. If she isnt sure if she's making it up to get attention then chances are she could be subconsciencely coz shes insecure. yes?

Im going to study Biomedical sciences or biology or genetics... my top three are Newcastle, Sheffield and Birmingham... if i go there i shall come and see you of course! lol... you dont want that do you?

What are you doing for AS?

I'd be too scared to come and see you. I could just send Yaz along to take pictures of you instead

Would you care to expand on feeling screwed up and crying at night?

I have to admit I've never been in Ann Summers. Too embarrassed.

I think Yasmin is more insecure about people SAYING she is making it up. So she interrogates herself just in case she is. Does that make sense? Oh I don't know! Oh by the way apparently 1.4 million people in the UK have some form of BPD. I don't know if you looked at that site or not. It's a bit strange. I could put down main facts if you like. Yas wasn't convinced there was such a thing until I persuaded her to look it up.

I'm doing German, English Lit, Geography, and Physics for AS. I don't know why I'm doing English Lit though because I'm not very good at it.

You dont want to visit me! I shall get Yaz to drag you with her!

I cant expand on it coz i dont know... its weird... sorry

Ann Summers... is there one i Brum? And i'll take yo to it sum day. Dont be embarrasssed coz then they arent nice to you. Stroll in cheerfully and look around, then stroll out again... not a problem... Its not embarrassing at all... what makes it that way?

German is cool, Physics is hard and i hopeoyu have an interesting teacher coz mine wasnt. Geoggers... no comment and Eng lit - well, you read some really good books, like Snow Falling On Ceders... its good

I do want to visit you but I'm too scared or even if I did say i would then i wouldn't turn up! Sorry, it's not you or anything I jus really won't see you in real life.

For BPD, (I've been snooping around), there's certain criteria you have to fulfill.

Impulsive

At least three of the following must be present:
1) Marked tendency to act unexpectedly and without consideration of the consequences

THIS ONE MUST BE PRESENT
2) Marked tendency to quarrelsome behaviour and to conflict with others, especially when impulsive acts are thwarted or criticised

3) Liability to outburst of anger or violence, with inability to control the resulting behavioural explosions

4) Difficulty in maintaining any course of action that offers no immediate reward

5) Unstable and capricious mood


Borderline:
At least two of these must be present, along with the 3 impulsive:

1) Disturbances in and uncertainty about self-image, aims and internal preferences (including sexual)

2) Liability to become involved in intense and unstable relationships, often leading to emotional crises

3) Excessive efforts to avoid abandoment

4) Recurrent threats or acts of self-harm

5) Chronic feelings of emptiness

Or there's another test they do which needs 5 or more of the following:

1) Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in (5)

2) A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterised by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

3) Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

4) Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (eg spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in (5)

5) Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, threats or self-mutilating behaviour.

6) Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (eg intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety, usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

7) Chronic feelings of emptiness.

8) Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (eg frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).

9) Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.


There you go. Hope that helped, unless you didn't care and then sorry for being annoying.