h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hehe.... maybe so.... but can't this one be used? :-s?

My thought exactly... I'm always capabel of excusing myself from doing any work before then, because I have a great echnique for studying... Or so I say... I suppose it's just a matter of memory...

Well, perhaps yyou should go and buy one, it's dead fun, if you get a real one... But you'll need something to target, and no, smaller siblings won't do... more than once, anyway...

OOOH, how morbid I am indeed...

Hmm, what's Pigeon Holes... But I agree, it's a way of brainwashing people into enjoying totally pointless acts of no significance whatsoever... Symbols are merely what you make of them... I still like Christmas, mind... Probably because of the presents, but don't tell anyone...

Hehe, I think I published it on the web somewhere... I'll check...

Or maybe it's just your competitive instincts, eh?

But then again, schoolwork can be fun, it just takes a lot more effort to make it fun, than it would take to, for instance, play computer games...

Whooops, sorry about all the typos, but this keyboard is terrible (I'm at school, if that'll explain anything).

I've never found a facial expression that matches up with that in reality.

I try not to study. The only time I actually do is for math. All of these people in my history class organize study groups and read the entire book before failing the test while I make 100s and take notes in class.

I dunno about the siblings... I only have one smaller than me but it's more fun to punch him and tell everyone at school that a *girl* beat him up! I might accidently target myself. We have a crossbow and I can work that, but it scares me to death.

Christmas because of the FOOD!! Sage dressing, cookies, cookies, mmmm....

Pigeon holes are preconceived notions of who/what/where/when/why/how you should be etc etc etc etc.

I think making schoolwork fun takes much more effort than its worth. Unless, of course, glue is involved. I love glue.

Well, maybe not, but it was established in Peanuts... So I'll use it because everyone knows what it means...

I never study, unless I have an important test... I know that I would be better off for planning things a bit more in advance, but the way school is these days, I haven't got the time to plan for anything...

So four hour Norwegian test tomorrow, oh the horror...

Hehe... well, maybe so. But real bows are much more fun... Pluss, you'll have to be able to afford losing an arrow, or you might need a carbon-based one, which means that you'll need some sports equipment...

Unfortunately, traditional Norwegian Christmas food is horrid... it's plain FAT! FAT, FAT, FAT. And it doesn't even taste too good...

Ahhh... I see... I wish we had an expression for that in Norwegian... perhaps "fordommer", but it's much more inaccurate...

Well, maybe so, but it's imperative to me at the moment, otherwise I would hate school all too much to be able to put up with the amount of work that they're giving us...

Urgh, glue, it sticks to everything and - more importantly - everyONE. It's horrid, the only thing more annoying in the galaxy is glitter... I love duct tape, though... It can be used for practically anything.

Everyone knows what it mean alright. *pssst! what's it mean?*

Planning for schoolwork is usually more stressful than the actual work because I never stick with the plan. That's just me. I'm only organized when I want to be which isn't often.

Egads. Four hours? I think I'd attack the pencil sharpener and end up being dragged out in a straight jacket. Good luck.

Don't you also take half the skin on your arm too? One of my friends has one that he uses, maybe I'll ask him.

You mean the food is all fat? Or do you mean it's all fattening?

Make one up and let it infiltrate the minds of your community.

Blegh. I'm already sick of school and first semester isn't even over. I actually think it's the people. Certain people drive me absolutely batty with their infernal meddling.

Eww, glitter is obnoxious. Once I did an experiment where I put a tiny bit in the washing machine and within a few days, it was EVERYWHERE. It still hasn't completely gone away. Duct tape is grand, but glue...it's so versatile and there are soooo many different kinds. How can you resist?

Well, it means... methinx... hope that didn't turn into a smiley...

Well, it's generally the same with me, only that I care too much about my results to be able to stop organizing myself...

Four hours is nothing... We have whole-day tests, they last for much longer, and are harder... It's a sort of exam-preparation... But thanks... I think it worked out...

Naw, I use protection, some leather thingy to put on the inside of your arm...

Both, I guess...

A thought, I've done it before... But I dunno if I'm up to it now...

Well, look at it this way, this is the worst part of the year, at least in Norway. It's cold, foggy, soggy and uncomfortable.. It's also the longest one stretch of school that we have...

Indeed, eugh glitter.. But, like I said, glue is sticky... I prefer two-sided tape, or possibly duct tape... Duct tape can even be used to soften up edges of things...

Aha. Gotcha.

Organization is the key to life, just not mine. I did organize everything in my room into little plastic shoeboxes today, though.

Oh, the horrors. My little pea heart goes out to you.

I'm glad you use protection.

Blegh. Humidity and heat for the most part here. I do hear that we're going to get snow this year. *gasp* I haven't seen REAL snow since we moved here. We get 1/2 an inch and the entire state shuts down.

Double-sided tape is pretty cool. Tape is great, I agree. I'm genetically programmed to love glue, blame it on my mother.

Weee...

Well, funny you should mention it, I cleaned my room last week, and I can now SEE the floorboards... Oh, how impressive indeed... And I organized my bookshelves as well...

Naw, I've survived, it's quite good fun, actually. You go to school, you write for a while, eat loads of candy, then write some more, and then go home early when you're done... The only thing that scares me about it is having to sit in the great hall... It's creepy, but we often sit in classrooms too...

Hmmm... wait... is that some sort of connotation?...

Wee, lucky you... we've allready got snow over here... I'm really looking forward to going skiing... I love alpine skiing...

Hmm... I feel sorry for you, you must lead a very confused life... Or perhaps I just got an overdose of it when I was a child... School glue is horrid, especially the sort we use for woodworks...

Mine would never get that bad; my mother would skin me alive. The only place I love organization is in the kitchen and in bathrooms. The rest of the house...pah! Bookshelves are great. Mine are organized alphabetically by type, author, and title.

The great hall...muahahaha. Sounds frightening. We either sit in the cafeteria or classroom to take our long tests that go out of the class. My final for history is going to kill me I think. Two free-response essays and a data-based question plus two million multiplicative guess.

Never can tell...

Oooh, skiing is soo much fun! We have to go out of state to go. We lived in Alaska where we could jump off the second story into snow to here, where jumping out of ground floor windows would kil you.

It's a permanent state. Ignorance is bliss. We used to pour it in pencil trays and then roll up the dried glue and make things out of it. And we'd make giant glue balls and throw them at people. Ahh, sweet memories.

Hehehe... Well, once you cross a certain point, your mother won't even dare go near it... Anyway, it's not really all that messy... But I do see a lot MORE floorboards now than I used to do up until last sunday...

My bookshelves are not that organized, but I've set off a section for fiction and one for facts, and I've had to organize them by size, as some of the large books won't fit into the small shelves... Like my giant illustrated copy of LOTR, for instance... Oh the joys... I've got both LOTR and the hobbit in both English and Norwegian illustrated versions... I'm currently reading LOTR for the sixth time...

Well, it is... You sit in this great big room, along with hundreds of other students, all with separate desks, and the teachers sit on the stage, and keep an overview. They even use guards when you go to the toilet... Oh the horrors...

We don't have to write that much, though... We have some theory questions, and then usually one free-response essay... How long are those essays then? I usually write about five or six hand written pages... My record is six computer-written ones... But I suppose a normal essay over here is about three to four pages...

Maybe so...

Anyway YAY skiing. It's the only sport I really and truly love... It's sooooo fun... Only alpine skiing, mind... I don't hold in with cross-country...

Hehe... well, all is relative... But I think tape, and especially double sided ones are the best for practical jokes... Ever tried using it in combination with firecrackers? WEEEE...

I don't know about that. My mother has been known to brave the evils of my closets. I know where everything is and when she takes to 'organize' it, I can't find anything.

I have to move my shelves around and reorganize everytime I get a new book. I am starting my paperback jungle because I can fit more on one bookcase than hardbacks. Illustrated? That's pretty cool. I haven't seen any of those. I just have the hardcover set. I do have seventeen copies of the Far Pavilions, however...

Guards to go to the bathroom? Wow. They do clean the walls of our bathrooms so that we can't write answers in there and go in during the test for a quick review. Sounds like jail...hail...hell...

Well...it really depends. Mine are usually the longest in the class because of my superb BS skills and large handwriting. I always remember the most menial facts and just HAVE to put them in there so the average is...5-6 pages. Since we have to cram all of that into two hours, we're kind of pressed to write long ones. I always manage to scrawl in my last bit as I'm turning it in.

Or maybe not.

I love skiing. I'm not very good and I can't stop without falling or hitting something, but I love it. My best accident was falling off the lift after catching my ski on something. Water skiing is much safer for me, though I have ruptured my eardrum doing that. I need reflectors saying 'DANGER DANGER DANGER!!'

With firecrackers, eh? Hmm...that has possibilities.

I have finished making fourteen pies, and our Thanksgiving dinner is about to be served. I suppose I should wash all of this dough off my arms.

HEHEHEE... the terror of organizing... I prefer chaos, just as long as I create it myself, and know where everything is... Speaking of which, I think I've accidentally gone and LOST two of the sheets that were supposed to be EXTREMELY important to tomorrows test... AAAAAH... damnit... And it's not even my fault... As I have actually aquite organized system when it comes to dealing with sheets that I get at school...

Hmm... well, they didn't do that at our school, but the guy inspected my toilet cubicle afater I had been there... All in all rather weird... Hehehehe... I agree, it is hell, but a neccesary one... meaning I can't do anything about the system, even though I dislike it...

Hmm, you sound like me... I think you'll need a degree in cryptography in order to decipher my handwriting. But that's pretty much what I do too, 5-6 pages, always pressed to the very last minute... It makes for a cood contents, but a poor conclusion... And I never have time for making a sketch... I have to write it directly...

Hehehe... you never know...

Hahahahaaaaaaa... as a Norwegian, I am of course rather skilled at skiing... Or... that means that I can stop before I hit something, akeep inside of the track, whenever I wish to... Offpiste is of course much more fun, but it's not too safe... Especially when you're skiing in places where they used to mine for silver... WEEE... nothing like a good solid adrenaline kick...

Another preverted and sadistic streak about Norwegians is that they love seeing foreigners skiing... I don't often hold with that... But seeing people giving alpine skiing its first try is always fun...

Indeed, you can tape 'em together, and then twist their fuses so that they explode at the same time... A larger rapping also means more noise... And you could of course tape firecrackers onto objects...... nasty!

Indeed. Enjoy thanksgiving!

I always stick them in the pockets in my spiral bound notebooks. I can't deal with those evil three-ring binders, stuff tears out and I always am too lazy to go back and put everything in its spot. Find them!!

Inspected the toilet...are you sure he wasn't just weird? I'll just be happy to get it over with. Hopefully starting a year early will put me ahead and I'll be able to actually do something productive earlier. Yeah.

Precisely! I have neat handwriting it's just large and all interconnected. Sketches are useless. If I am forced to do one, my paper is always fifteen times longer than it should be and terribly constructed. I have more trouble with the introduction than the conclusion. My essays are always entertaining, and, if by chance I can't remember anything on the subject, I can always make such a HUGE deal out of the tiniest facts that they don't notice. I always tell the teacher that I'm a terrific BS'er and they always say that they can tell and will fail me for it. They never do!

Could happen, couldn't it?

Oh, my. Where they mine silver? Adrenaline rush, right before you die. I can usually stay on the course, it's just the stopping. Once they told me to put my toes in and I flipped and was stuck for about fifteen minutes before my friend stopped laughing and pulled me out. Stupid Norwegians...

Okay, gotcha! Don't tape the fuses together. There's nothing quite like losing your hearing for two days and wondering whether it's permanent or not.

Oh, of course! I only just got done handwashing all of our good china. What's the point of having a dishwasher if you can't use it? I'll make a great domestic when I decide that kids wouldn't interferew with my dog.

Haven't found 'em yet... Damn! I'll just have to ask someone at school tomorrow if I can have a look at them... I hope it's not too extensive...

Maybe... they had hired extra help, and he was probably retired, so I'm guessing that he was above 70 years old... He might have been weird, but he was nice, and talkative... But there has been stories of students wrapping their books in something water-resistant, and hiding them inside the water container of the toilet... Original, I must say...

I agree... Anyway, you're luckier than me there... But still, who needs handwriting when there are computers around... Problem is that there aren't any at school... Not enough for all the students, anyway... The introduction is seldom a problem with me... I just present a problem, and I usually exaggerate a bit... The conclusion isn't really too bad either, I just need time to put formulate myself. And since the conclusion (naturally) is the last part of the essay, I find that I have seldom got time to write anything proper. But I still get good grades, though.

But I do the same... I overdo the facts I remember to cover over the fact that I can't remember the important bits...

Well, maybe, maybe not...

Hehehe... indeed... there have been some accidents there... But that doesn't prevent me from going off the course... Anyway... I don't do it all too often... HUH? Your toes... in what? And what's a BS'er, by the way...

Bloody hell, just how strong firecrakcers do you guys use? A hearing damage? That's just plain horrid... Oh, and you don't TAPE the fuses together. The tape will but out the fuse, which kinda takes the pang out of it... Anyway. The explosing isn't that much louder... But a bit... If they're that strong, then I advise the use of hearing protection...

Hehehe... indeed... But still, learning how to use the dishwasher would be an idea... It's not really too tricky...

What fun. I'm the class secretary. If someone's missing, I'm splendid enough to type up the pages of notes for them and give them the answers.

Hmm...quite creative. Another thing you can do is to pull the label off your water bottle and write very tiny then tape it back on. The script is magnified. I'm much too chicken to cheat.

It takes me awhile to get started, but then everything just rolls. Problem is, we're not allowed to use computers for most assignments because they're afraid that we'll do everyone's favorite copy-paste thingie. I would actually rather write personal things than type them. These people that keep these computerized journals have me in awe.

Isn't that what I said?

Proof is in the pudding, I guess.

BS= bull poo. It means flagrant telling of falsehoods or hyperbolizing.

I dunno how strong they are. They're BlackCats, the only American firecracker. You've never had them blow in your face and deafen you temporarily? Scared the crap out of me. All I could think about was, 'How can I tune when I can't hear?' What type do you use? And how do you judge the strength. I'd send you some, but it's so incredibly illegal.

I can use a dishwasher, just not for good china. The paint would come off. Besides, I like washing dishes.

Indeed. I think it worked out. The sheets weren't important at all, it seems...

Ahh, yes, the old water-magnifying trick. I don't hold with cheating, though. So I don't do it, naturally...

I start with a pang, and I usually end with one, provided I get the time... Ahh, yes... the ingenious copy/paste move.. I don't hold with that either. I like writing... no really... I agree when it comes to personal things. But I seldom write that down too... And when I do, it usually becomes a poem or something that I can later use for a melody composing assignment...

Maybe, but this time it was my turn to say it... I assume that means we have something in common, then?

Could be, but only if it's chocolate...

Ahh, of course. I've just never seen it abbreviated before...

Ahh, yes, Black Cats... Well, we use some swedish brands over here. Firecrackers are totally forbidden in Norway, so we have to import it... Anyway, naw, I usually protect myself. You have to be wewwy caweful when handling those firecrackers... Anyway a security distance is recommended... Perhaps you should start lengthening the fuses... I judge the strength from the size, and what's said about it on the back of the packet. It always says something there. Plus, I've seen them all at work...

Ahh, of course... Well, whatever keeps you going ... I prefer a good round of beating the drumkit...

Phew! Good for you.

I would hope not.

A pang? Possibly you mean a bang? I don't really hold to the poetry part. It's usually prose for me.

Whodathunkit?

Oooh, chocolate...

Never seen it abbreviated? How...Norwegian of you!

Maybe I should just light and throw? Those whistling bottle rockets are what kills my ears. A little singing of hair doesn't hurt...much. They're illegal here, too, but the importation of them isn't. We live in the country, who'll care?

I'm a fabulous drummer. I look like a convulsing leopard on steroids and make a bunchabunchabuncha noise.

Indeed. I was lucky this time...

You don't have to hope, I don't. But it is amusing to observe just how many creative, and indeed, scientific approaches people make to cheating. It's almost a science of its own. And to think that if they'd spent their time practicing instead of finding out new ways of cheating, they would probably have gotten an A...

Indeed, I did. How very - as you so adequately put it - Norwegian of me... So do I, but from what I've observed, you still write fiction....

I didn't, that's for certain...

Yes, ooh, chocolate... Can't live without it. I'd become depressed if I were deprived of it, I've tried it before, but it doesn't work in the end...

We actually use the expression in Norwegian too, we haven't even bothered with translating it, actually. Anyway, I'll have to remember that abbreviation.

Hmmm... I dunno, I usually put them down, light them, and run for cover... Like I said, I would recommend that you keep some distance from them, as a security precaution. Exactly, who cares...

Who cares how good you are? It's the presonal satisfaction that matters...

Thees time.

I'd rather dedicate myself to actually doing the work. It's sort of like the people who make up excuses about WHY they didn't do their homework. Who cares WHY you didn't do it, just say you didn't! I hate that.

I'll give you a point for that, because I don't understand that last statement. Yes, I got the you write prose, too, part, but the fiction.

Aww, a sad end to the short sentence nonsense game.

I love it. I haven't even tried going without it. I tried going without caffeine once and lasted a day and had the most terrible headaches.

The joys of translation. It's amazing how those computerized programs garble everything. We've got one because we do a lot of Italian correspondence and some of the versions are hysterical. Where did that come from?

That takes all the fun out of it! The only thing I hold now are bottle rockets and that's only so you can aim them at people.

It's terrific. The percussion instructor did walk out of the room when I tried to perform for him, though.

Hush, do not speak such dark words (one can tell that I've been reading LOTR)!

My point exactly. Cheating usually fails, which means that working is better and safer. Thus it is our privilege to watch those that fail to realize this... It's a good source of entertainment, especially when it works, but I still prefer hard work...

Like you said, you're an excellent BS'er... Hope that explains it... Otherwise, read the last three posts again.

Who says it has to have an end? I do not believe in ends, and not in beginnings either. It's all been caused by something else, and it will continue causing something new (ooh, how very deep, I'm just fishing for your BS-skills here).

I don't drink caffeinated drinks, they make me go crazy. At least they did the last time I tried. Which was four o' clock in the night, and I downed TWO energy drinks in ten minutes... I don't remember much of that night.

Indeed... I think I'll have to start translating it.... YAY "Oksebæsj"... how very yucky indeed. Anyway, yes... And another thing. Microsoft words spelling corrections... They're heckishly amusing, and totally crazy. Refusing a known word and replacing it with complex pure nonsense...

Hehehehe... so that THEY get the hearing damage, and not you, right. Sounds like your loss of hearing falls in nicely with the laws of Karma, my (evil) friend!

Hehehehee... of course, it takes a lot of patience, listening to beginners.